Long Grown up Poems
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GROWN UP HEART BEAT THAT SAVED THE LOSS
Where is the heartbeat;
Why, after eighteen days I hear a song;
But to the world it's crying;
Why? Is the world denying His amazing feats;
Why? After baby is grown;
As to the world it's vying;
He's the heartbeat, that hung on the cross
The grown-up heartbeat that saved the loss
Still yet the world is denying
They are hardly trying
Nevertheless;
His mercies rest;
On mankind's unrighteousness;
As to the world it's vying;
They are hardly trying;
Nevertheless;
His mercies rest;
He's the heartbeat, that hung on the cross
The grown-up heartbeat that saved the loss
10/29/18
written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2018
Jill had not aged well. She looked years older than me.
My arch-nemesis from second grade, my tormenter.
Her mean looks, her nasty ways,
Not forgotten.
Remembering the hurt, the shame.
A class action mean-girl.
Although it had been over fifty years, I recognized her in a hot minute.
My heart practically stopped, when we met in the milk aisle of my hometown grocery.
I had been her whipping girl, and I remembered.
But the socialized part of me could not forget who I am, so I smiled. She did not.
Jill? I asked. She paused, but did not stop, kept going. Picked up a quart of milk, and walked on.
Jill may have been the first mean-girl in history, and I believe the only mean girl in our small town in the 50’s. Girls were not mean back then, they were clean.
My mother gave me the scoop on Jill when I returned to her home, with the donuts. Donuts she would not eat as my mother is thin, and persnickety. Fruits and vegetables for that woman.
Jill’s mother had died in childbirth, and Jill had grown up with a mean brother and a meaner father, an alcoholic who would choose liquor over his children any day.
Her life was hard, as she was the whipping girl there.
A big bully raising a little bully.
I understood now, and I could forgive.
But to forget would be impossible.
I had been Jill’s whipping girl.
Because this here is your passing
out parade doth your cap and gown
This here I don't know if you if you are
aware or know it yet
But also the end of what was once
your student life I hope you kissed
it a fond farewell and goodbye
As your days spent on scholastic
dissertation theoretical drunken debate
expressing your altruistic views putting
the world's wrongs to right in some or
other cheap backstreet pub
And pack away your monogrammed
slogan t-shirts and swap your long hair
and man-bun for a short back and side's
Because you my friend I am sorry
to inform have finally just crossed over
to the dark side
Welcome to the big wide world we have
been expecting you
And though you now have in your possession
a certificate denoting you are university
standard educated and have letters
to accompany your name as proof
Nothing you learned or where taught
be that even higher level education
would or could possibly have prepared
you for the harsh reality life has in-store
And unlike school which eventually
runs and has a predetermined course
over a precise timeline
Life means life and the remainder of
your's has just begun starting now
The time has come for you to put your
degree to some use find a job buy
a car and a house somewhere to rent
or buy
And oh did I forget to mention most
importantly of all
Start paying back whatever student loans
you took out compounding interest that
got you where you stand today
Until your 10 year graduation reunion
comes around and is the 1 and only
topic of discussion that everyone
still have left in common
Same old people as before now
just all grown up replaced with
long drawn faces
That once sparkled with aspiration
instilled with dream's of changing
the world and making it a better place
Who now wish for nothing more than
to be able to put food on the table and
go to sleep without the fear of the power
being cut off
Not the 3rd degree or lecture
I watched Columbo season after season,
Amazed at how close we were in unkempt appearance,
Disregard for fashion, comfortable in the same clothes
He had a soft non-threatening way about him
The perpetrators were never worried,
Sure they could outsmart this hayseed
He would have them explain things until he got them,
acting like he was slow, so they would have to dumb it down
Actually, he was listening for their mistakes
Just one more thing, he would say, walking back into the room
That is when I knew he had somehow figured it out.
It was like watching a grown up Encyclopedia Brown
It thrilled me week after week after week
He appeared non-threatening, unassuming
putting them off guard.
Realizing that the most common acting person
Is possibly the most brilliant is incredibly reassuring,
and empowering.
God has gifted five children to love and care.
I kept them as cluster of abloom blossoms :
Preserved as precious treasures in my bosom.
Same Love and Affection, all siblings must share.
'
Neither a Question to Discriminate
Nor any Partiality to Occur
If required, Special Care for child weaker.
Each child gets Attention needed : No Debate.
A Parent's love always running Nonparallel
Surely Normal Natural Human Instinct.
No Controversy at all, Quite Distinct.
Continuous Fluent Flow ! Unidirectional !
The greatest bliss of my life to glitter and shine
is children, while raising up and caring them.
My Family tree to grow , Me being Stem.
All the siblings are just branches in between.
In their childhood, I was the light to show way.
Being grown up they turned my success after all.
Siblings prosper and to impress each and all.
The strong branches are cheerful, joyous, to sway.
I've spent sundials of time feeding ghosts,
teaspoons of fear
dollops of regret
pecks of what-ifs.
Just to keep them pacified
'til I could grow some balls and climb
the cold cliffs of courage.
but the truth is...
I'll never climb to higher realms
-don't have the gift.
though it took some time
I've accepted all of it.
I'm a creature born of the ground
made my nest in the good earth
I don't breathe stars
but I do inhale dirt...
I've grown up(somewhat) and tossed the ghosts
into a pit called self-forgiveness.
I still feed them scraps from time to time
but they'll never get what they desire,
the main dish with all the trimmings
silver-wonderful -shimmering.
This enlisted soul
At eighteen years old
Barely a man
Not even street wise told
From the proms, to the camp
He kits out tomorrow
His future he stamps
Never knowing bloodied sorrow
In just under a year
He's older and wiser
To a theatre so different
Says his military adviser
Overseas he heads
Thoughts of back home
What goes through his mind
In eighteen years old roam
Where could he have been
In so short a time
Colouring books
Making joining words rhyme
As he looks to his background
What does he see
An eagle soaring
In the land of the free
The statue of liberty
And the bill of rights
With the thirteen stripes
And the stars to delight
He is just a boy
In grown up clothes
Another one lost
To a cause we will loathe
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-4.php
My roommates and I congregated in our suite's great room and we’ll head out for dinner soon.
“Have you ever eaten dog food?” Leong asked Anna.
“No,” Anna answered, “it smells like chicken - it’s got chicken in it”
“OOO!” Leong pounces, “Busted!!”
“What?!” Anna reacts.
“How would you know that then?” Leong asks, doubtfully.
“My mom told me!” Anna cries, in self-defense. “She’s a vegetarian too.”
“Your mom told you.” Leong said, like a prosecutor raising an eyebrow for the jury.
“I just took my last English class,” I report, pony-tailing my hair, “my teacher told me - privately - that my writing destroys.”
“Nice,” Lisa says.
“Yeah,” I say, smiling and grooming with pride, “I thought that was a ballin’ complement and I’ve been riding that high.”
“No doubt,” Anna says and nods.
“My English professor..” Leong says, exasperated, “is driving me crazy,” I’ve written three final papers so far and she’s rejected them ALL.”
“Huh?” I gasp, “Show me one!” I demand, wiggling gimmie-fingers at her laptop.
“Here’s a question,” Lisa asks the room, “What would you change about your childhood?”
“I would have never grown up.” Sophy said.
“When I was in third grade, in the UK, a girl in my elementary school, was murdered,” I reveal.
“What?!” Anna says.
“Oh, my GOD!” Lisa gasps.
“Spill” Leong demands.
“Her name was Kennedy,” I begin, “She was in another class, I didn’t know her but I started to imagine that I’d known her. I’d think of her playing on the swings in a yellow dress, in daydreams and in nightmares.
“I can see that,” Leong said.
“I was flummoxed, at the time, how a family could lose a little girl and a president.” I added.
Anna looked confused.
“I was in third grade,” I replied,” what did I know?
“Go ON,” Lisa prompts.
“We heard that she was walking home and got snatched,” I continued.
“Jesus,” Lisa said, shaking her head.
“Although I never walked home, I was careful not to be snatched for a while,” I summarized.
“I bet,” Anna agreed.
“That’s what I’d change,” I said, “Poor Kennedy.”
“People suck,” Lisa pronounced, and there was general agreement to *that*.
As a certified, bona fide woman of a grown-up sixteen,
she light-stepped with grace thru the baroque castle.
She wanted to tell her Father of the déjà vu she gleaned
at last night’s élan party scene with a man who dazzled.
She gave her fantasies carte blanche to freely travel
for she was but a love dilettante, still romance green
and unsure what her anomaly feelings could mean.
She found the King, Father, leaning on an avant-garde mantel,
his manner ennui, despite the cacophony of swords at cavil.
Knowing her, he said, "No talk of new suiters, many already battle."
... CayCay Jennings
January 25, 2018
I know I don't have millions
To leave you in my will
But what I have for each of you
Is something greater still
I have a few possessions
For each of you to keep
Photographs and memories
I know will make you weep
All my sad sad poems
Written through my tears
All the journals of my life
I wrote throughout the years
My jewellery and diamonds
For Sydnie, Brooke and Bree
And every time you wear them
I know you’ll think of me
Jewellery and diamonds
For George and Paulie too
To give them to your little girls
With love from me and you
I know you that you will treasure
All of the above
But something far more greater
I leave you... is my love
It brought you all into this world
And helped you all to grow
With each and every step
I’ve loved you more than you will know
Each of you is different
You all have your own ways
From when you all were babies
And through your childhood days
Naughty things you said and did
The secrets you would hide
But even through your teenage years
I watched you grow with pride
The closeness that you share
Between a sister and a brother
The love I know is there
Has made me proud to be your mother
Now you’re all grown up
And having children of your own
And you will share with them
The love and laughter you have known
Keep with you your memories
Your thoughts, your special song
No one else can take
To only you, they do belong
Don't feel lost or lonely
Or afraid of what to do
Just follow your heart..knowing
I'm always there with you
Keep with you the knowledge
That even from above
Nothing in this world
Is greater than a mothers love
Never change for no one
Just be always who you are
And I’ll be right beside you
Your forever guiding star...
By Raina Hutchins
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