Long Gag Poems

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pentopaper41
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I am a mom, an artist, and an office monkey.
 

14 contests • 2 lists • 1...

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Every second, every minute, every single thought about you
Wonders of this still could be too good to be true
Fluttering in my heart, palpitations go amiss
I yearn for the touch of your skin, and I constantly...

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Chief garbage taster as fifth grade Halloween gag
at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School
interestingly enough landed me a grubhub grab bag.

I rooted thru poetry anthology of mine,
and came across an unpublished poem
by one obscure poet (me),...

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"Small Mutinies"



So what if my point of view
is not that which wraps 
you in comfortably warm
fluffed-up silky 
cashmere blankets 
of insecure insincerity
simple scribbles 
bleating from the 
chirping crickets 
and frog croaking
symphonies 
muddying waters
cutting pristine lines...

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Big boys get brainwashed by television 
It's my mission to fulfill you with vision 
America is going under these days.
All the countries around us aren't getting their ways.
Who's to blame?
Shame just came...
Out of nowhere for...

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Priscilla Penelope Thurston was a young Brazilian beauty with jet black eyes and amber skin that shown like a natural pearl.
You didn’t need to look real hard to know, by any measure, that Prissy was,...

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by sun-kissed shoreline 
patiently I cast my line
waiting for a catch


Fishing was my family’s go-to, inexpensive recreational sport.  Many weekends were spent at the lake checking trout lines for fish or standing on the...

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at Henry Kline Boyer Elementary School

As a Halloween costume, 
one year during early grade school, 
my father got the brilliant idea 
for his sole son to be dressed 
with one of a kind getup.

Missus Shaner...

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                           I
On the hill betwixt Carlisle and Deep Creek
...

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War, Is Unholy Hell

War is wicked rot and most holy hell
 man's evil is its murdering spell
Yet mankind never ever truly learns
 love and faith it arrogantly spurns

Poetry by the great Siegfried Sassoon
 glows like...

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I crowned the write full missus "champ paean practical joker"

The following moniker “innocent prankster” 
awarded, hashtagged, and qualified wife
as trickster de jure appended 
to alluded spouse 
(then of twenty five plus years),
when she pulled a...

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(Warning...it has a sexual theme to it. You have been warned, innocent readers! Expect the unexpected in this one)

You have the nerve
To give me nervana like I deserve
Nothing's wrong with me
Maintain my lustful heart patiently...

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My prey lays on the table somewhat consciously.
He is slowly reviving from my injection that put him to sleep.
He is secured to the table with duct tape tightly.
I'll remove the gag from his mouth when...

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The priest had been here earlier and the rosary was said
and relatives and friends in single file were offering condolences.
"Sorry for your troubles," one by one they said, 
bending over Maggie Murphy, silent in her...

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My heart is empty, Jeffrey.
I’m standing here transfixed 
within the threshold 
of a vacant bedroom.
The air is still
but the delicate scent 
of your passing soul 
invades my nostrils. 
The aroma travels deep 
inside the tunnels...

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Fire's Out

Walking through the woods one day
I met a dragon in dismay
I didn't know that they could talk
So thought I'd carry on my walk

But as I passed I heard a hiss
A voice that said I'll...

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i.

I’m stubborn in remembering you
even flayed like this around my
shoulder blades, and all those
hissing scales tipping time
over my wrists until the water 
around me runs red,  streaking crimson
unsurity through all the locks I thought...

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Blowing through a vast crevasse –
from whirling tempest; 
to calming balm on wounded skin;
to constant howl;
to sunlit kiss, onto warm lips –

I am a promise, 
to the girl who waits,     
within...

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Why We Don’t Visit Jane Anymore

By Elton Camp

We haven’t seen Jane in a year
Her house is fairly close to here
It is getting harder to find a ruse
Her invitations to politely refuse

She tells to us over...

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I cannot sponsor a contest but if you can and you are looking for a topic may I 
suggest a limerick contest that requires the poet to base the limerick on a word that 
begins...

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if zee al chemist trump doth win go hide in the bunker 
to save your ass
brace yourself as this don holed 
confabulates that gold iz brass
and conjures prestidigitation 
like spinning false hoods in2 truth -...

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You told me back when I was young,
That before we both grew
Old,
One day we'd live inside a mansion
Full of all the richest
Gold.
You said you'd give me diamonds, and write my 
Name up in the sky
You...

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Man, seldom a straightforward animal, 
Long lost in the deserts of weariness,
Wants to flee from a life of denial, 
Wallows no less still in piles of warm ash,
 
And feeling hurt, he nurses hidden strife,...

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There were Indians just over the Brazos
With a buffalo herd in between
They weren’t trying to stay hidden 
They wanted to be seen
The chief of these Comanche
Buffalo Hump by name
They say no one's looked him in...

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Imagine a world where only you and I exist 
and only you and I matter. 

No boundaries ,
no limits, no
consequences...Only you and I free.

Free to behave as we feel
free to express our undeniable love
for one...

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