Long Fetal Poems

It had been a hellish week.

On Monday
my lonely and tired AfricanAmerican husband
told me, as gently as possible,
that what I had hoped was a temporary separation
is to be extended into perpetuity.

This separation had been scheduled to...

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Wounded Sacred Dementia: Part Two

Dementia's derelict WinLose SocialWorker
suboptimizingly hesitates
when I tell her
I have not changed my mind
about not adopting Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
into my vulnerable home
with a seven-year-old AfricanAmerican boy
blind
and unable to defend himself,
or even run...

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Year 2031 would soon come
To a close. Everyone will be
A little wiser. 
Damian Junior wanted a 
Girlfriend and he was soon to
Be 13. Amadeus and
Desharah will both turn 10.
The oldest kids had a desire to
Add...

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Wounded Sacred Dementia

My last foster care-provider
and -receiver story
is also a sad story
of my last special needs adoption
of bipolar born,
and oppositionally reared,
alcoholism.

My BiPolar Wounded Child
turned an auspicious five
on the day I first saw her,
and promptly rejected...

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Randomling 1:  Matthew Macfadyen

I believe I'm in love with Matthew Macfadyen
He inspires in me a terribly bad yen
But as poetry goes
His name 'spires woes
Cause nothing rhymes with "Macfadyen”.


Randomling 2: Birthday Wishes
  
For my birthday,...

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FIRE! UPDATED 1998 IN 2021 BY COVERUPS PAYOFFS
GARGANO FAKED HIS OWN DEATH MEMORIAL DAY 1999
THE CAR BOMB THAT ENDED MY LIFE AT LEAST AS I'VE KNOWN IT ON THIS DAY THE SKY WAS SO BLUE...

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What evidence do we have that businesses receive financial as well as other nutritionally healthy benefits, 
by co-investing cooperatively within health-developing community cultures?

What are financially healthy benefits for cultural communities 
both internal to corporate identity,...

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Key CapitalistYang/CreolistYin EcoHistoric Concepts

I find a fuzzy irony in this morning’s early search for a new journal notebook, having filled my last from what had been, five years ago, an inconceivably high pile of empty...

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So here's my question for this dawning day,
like a WinWin ruminating message in a bottle
floating through a LoseLose climate sea
felt still foggy from last night,
some mysterious how now;

One of many
health related strategic WinLose issues
tuning out...

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January 13th 2024 - Happy Lxv-th birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i, eminem, 
where earth, wind, and fire...

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Happy Lxiv birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date of expiration:? January i, eminem.

A gangly, measly, and scraggly bundle
of lovely bones even as...

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I am just finishing my morning meditation when I hear my doorbell ring. It actually sounds more like that buzzing sound you hear if you fry a fat fly on one of those electronic bug...

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Coping with Agoraphobia well you are basically pent up 
in your home for me it finally took it's toil my therapist 
came to my home because I was basically limited spending 
hours in a room...

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I know what it costs
to parent a tyrant
24/7
52 weeks/year
and yet avoid judging,
feeling guilty,
self-blaming shame
for all I am not sufficient,
yet.

I remember learning curious distinctions
between genuine remorse
given, when LeftBrain verbally requested,
yet without RightBrain capacity
to feel even the...

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My fetal alcoholic bipolar:

“sometimes I experience low anxiety
and act like a happy drunk”

“sometimes,
like when entering new places 
and situations,
I experience high anxiety
and act like a very bad
and mean-spirited drunk
with immense juvenile curiosity and overload,
near total...

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The coincidence of Advent
and the HW Bush eulogies
reminded me of DJ Trump's challenge
to laugh about himself
at least as quickly and quietly as he laughs against others.

As compared to any recent US President,
he comes in dead...

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My daughter,
with Fetal Alcohol crippling emotional intelligence damage
and Cerebral Palsy perpetual TerribleTwo
"is too many,
because Earth is all about ego-defiant me"
has taught herself
to attach her lips,
and sometimes her wet licking tongue
when she is feeling particularly needy
and/or...

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My phone is always off. I then check and return my messages inevitably.
These are actually precautions I must take for my own personal safety.
If I happened to be crossing a busy intersection and my phone...

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Already an apology is due,
which is only better
than one already overdue,

Yes, I know cannabis
is a place of multiple
and diversely celebrated
subcultures,

And, yes, I realize chaos
and complexity may be civilly sipped
and thirstily gulped
from diverse alcohol
subcultures,
pedigrees,
castes of enumerated...

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I'm a fairly active charter member
of Connecticut's Medical Marijuana Program,
qualifying because I'm also one of the oldest HIV+ survivors in the U.S.

In fact, 
not a single cell within my entire organism
would have been brought to...

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I crossed over this caring bridge the sun shined 
so bright I hardly noticed the humvee at the light 
signaling green to go and what do you know bam 
in the blink of thee eye...

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I always was one to be passionate about things life has in store. You know, the kind of passionate fury that brings others frustration and pretty much disappointment in you? I think that passion can...

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Oh my dog, another yesterday (May 23rd, 2020) spent inside

Anomalous earthling inhabited 
mancave quarantined
cocooned gamesomely 
knowingly protected travesty
impossible mission sidestepping, 
thwarting, zapping
eventuality, inevitability, 

opportunity utilitarian death
crowning glory fêted within 
netherlands immortality
granted courtesy biological 
proliferation offspring...

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By now this self-analytical Left mindbody lens grows thin
imagining dualistic cultural dominance,
logically sciencing,
rationally defaulting to either-or assumptions
supposedly proving either x or y
does notnot also equal x + y = (0)-squared
fractally regenerative temporal health-balance
unfolding c(+) +...

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I wonder if fully liberated consciousness
can only focus on integrity
becoming;

If partial consciousness
and unconsciousness of left with right awareness
is the default of dis-integrity,
of wandering through detachment
of unwanted apartheid
and mutual apathy
about integrity's personal
national
global governing pride,
organic capacity to...

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