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Happy Lxiv Birthday Matthew Scott Harris

Happy Lxiv birthday Matthew Scott Harris date of conception:? ~ Late March – mid April 1958. date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix. date of expiration:? January i, eminem. A gangly, measly, and scraggly bundle of lovely bones even as a lad (way to skinny to appease wicked witch) came out kicking and screaming and he never stopped since that's how I will get carried out. Yours truly an aging baby boomer (orangutan missing link) long haired pencil necked geek (constantly clearing phlegm from his throat) trademark disheveled characteristics whipsawed ever faster around sun quickly ratcheting and spiraling tornado like nearly 30 kilometers per second, or 67,000 miles per hour clip; while sprawled atop earth, he journeyed, jumpstarted, kickstarted, launched countless planetary orbitz quintessentially retracing trajectory when Gaia linkedin courtesy gravity maintaining invisible bond with Helios. He (best nutty buddy and alter ego of mine), which birth sported an ordinary uneventful, nevertheless miraculous combination platter visited ejaculation, menstruation, secretion nsync with erratic spastic seminal kicks divine fertilization usually took place in a fallopian youtube playing mine unrehearsed debut appearance after an ovary to the uterus wrought conception, which begat biological reproductive process fostered embryonic development 'o Boyce and Harriet straggly heir, one male progeny mostly gangly lovely bones mox nix cellular division yes genesis I rem:member being born as an a door able beatle browed talking head super tramping cheap tricks immediately kickstarted and triggered goo goo doll foo fighter enfant terrible terrifically soulfully bellowing; also envision Dolby surround sound without assistance courtesy Gran Prix (for poetic purpose pronounceable sex pistols pricks). Upon due date when water broke vaguely analogous to how rice krispies snapped, popped, and crackled; firstly his crown emerged out cervix ain't got pushed by no heavy duty contractions out birth canal no siree but propelled seven plus pounds courtesy infantile flatulence asthma noggin heralded scrawny declaration, now celebrating lx plus four ellipses around nearest star, subsequently skinny arms and legs (I'll spare ye the bloody graphics with the afterbirth regarding placenta and fetal membranes discharged from the uterus after the birth of offspring), whence obstetrician able, eager, ready, and willing to secure newborn in swaddling raiment affirming proud parents their healthy baby boy underscored with italics readied to receive pronounced hosannas regarding garden variety generic wrinkled likened to an old manikin newborn. Within some now nondescript building then named The Christ Hospital location Mount Auburn Cincinnati, Ohio (the Buckeye state) record number C57587 gingerly handled courtesy Doctor James Mackay McCord (ushering none other than me into the webbed wide world) bestowed upon bosom of Harriet Harris (maternal parent), after thy young mother experienced brief labor as his bonny head and bony derrière easily slipped out uterine crypt, whereby with Vernix caseosa, the waxy or cheese substance, he appeared er made rather wicked, matted, and dipped in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped minuscule fist ready to bump. Once placenta and fetal membranes (unnecessary as wing ding) discharged out uterus after birth of offspring, and thar weren't no more major contractions in the offing ma mommy lovingly did cling to her bundle of joy and bring maternal breast I ravenously did suckle fortunately toothless against her tender bosom trickling (if mammary serves me correctly), I presently recall no iota of inkling what events transpired, nope no recollection about me being circumcised. Traditionally a mohel is a rabbi, cantor or another religious leader who performs brit milah, or bris, a circumcision ceremony, on an 8-day-old. Moost likely I felt Jew bull lent glad yours truly chose decent mother and father, which opinion subjected to radical change, when as grown adult child living nonsocial under their roof housing forced to hire agent provocateur to practice sparring, when standoff event on horizon, which eventually begat ultimatums, where mutual quiet riot revulsion swallowed me into a black hole their red hot poker rage spent belittling, cursing, damning... quiet as Unitarian Church mouse content internalizing later smoldering anger I needed to vent in retrospect diminutive little boy tied to mama's apron strings afflicted with mental health issues inherent of course hindsight gleaned social, psychological, neurological... healthy development got rent asunder partly explaining why I became indigent cuz absolute zero ambition to hustle and convince prospective employers to hire me an astute candidate with deaf fin knit muted confidence.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

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