He Forgave Me As Did the Lord
I always was one to be passionate about things life has in store. You know, the kind of passionate fury that brings others frustration and pretty much disappointment in you? I think that passion can be good and not so good. I carry no legitimate excuse, nor a reason as to why I do or say things out of anger or indignation. But this time was different. I had been suffering from terrible pain in my lower back. The kind of pain you wish not upon your worst enemy. I understand this is not a justification for my harsh words, but if you have ever felt that throbbing pain somewhere in your body then you may just understand why I felt so uncomfortable in that moment.
I admit it. Yes, I said those three awful words to my wonderful husband. It just rolled off my tongue like water and I regretted it as soon as I said it.
“I hate you…” I know this not to be true, but to him it was so hurtful I could see the tears in his eyes swell up. He stopped and looked into my eyes and I had to look away. My hand to my forehead with hot chills down my spine. It was the next thirty seconds of silence that haunted me.
He walked away-
I sat down and cried.
We went our separate ways and I had to find the words to say how much I was sorry for saying the worst words a person of faith could ever say. It's like telling the Lord I hate Him too. So I wrote. And wrote. And wrote. A letter that begged and pleaded for forgiveness. That kind of atonement that could somehow erase all the resentment he felt. I slipped it under the bedroom door where I knew he was laying down. I went upstairs to my spare bedroom where I sometimes watch television. But this time I did no such thing. I laid in the fetal position crying. Not because I felt sorry for me, but I felt sorry for him.
We own a home, not a house. Our home is filled with the Lord’s love and adoration. After being with him for twenty-two years I know how much those three words would affect him. I put myself in his shoes. I hear that people say “I hate you” to people all the time, but not in our home. We show each other kindness and tender affection.
I heard his footsteps coming upstairs and then a soft knock on the door. “Come in”, I said in an ashamed voice. He waked in and he came and sat next to me and held me for what seemed like two hours. “Can you forgive me?” He looked at me with those big chestnut eyes and said, “of course I can, I love you more than anything.” Since that day we have grown closer, and I never thought that was possible.
So, I went to bed that night and thanked the Lord for His mercy and also for HIS forgiveness for my sins. For He lived the only sinless life and there He was forgiving me for my words of hurt to the one man I vowed to love forever.
Thank you, Lord for your clemency. I am so grateful for my husband’s compassion. I can only hope I too can bestow such amnesty onto those who wrong me.
Someone Forgiven You:
When Is The Last Time You've Forgiven
Dramatic Verse Contest Poetry Contest
James Edward Lee Sr.
October 29, 2018
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2018
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
Please
Login
to post a comment