Long Doornail Poems

I relished being hungry for Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast, 
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly able, eager, and ready
to soak my ego freezing carcass in...

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I relished being hungry for leftover Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

(a poetic partial fiction 
blended, diced, fricaseed, 
marinated, mixed, pureed, sautéed, 
stewed... with fact)

Hmm... on second thought
lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protrudes taut and...

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AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA

Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my erection has lasted four or more hours so I guess I'm going to have to seek immediate medical attention
Wife:...

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I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, YA KNOW?

Elderly Lady: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
First Alert: Duly noted, will there be anything else?
Elderly Lady: Are you going to call an ambulance?
First Alert: Ambulance? ...

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because the music industry is
dead as a ****ing doornail,
they grip hold as long as possible
to whatever pop singer can pull
in the most idiots to sell whatever
can be marketed by these big useless
companies that used to...

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Enervated and energized after cold shower
the perfect tonic to gin body though o'clock
wee hours August thirty one two thousand
nineteen - natural buzz to stave off relished
sleep, thus refueled with zest able to chop
chop thru printed...

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Hmm... on second thought
lemme join anorexic club
until rib cage protrudes taut and visible
doubling as drum to drub
synchronized within heart of darkness,
especially when electrocardiogram exhibits
absolute zero vital sign,
cardiac arrest translates
as cessation to lub dub,
hence yours truly

declared...

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On my left the full silver circle of the moon
Just risen in the east
And on my right the mellow sun about to swoon
Provided a rare feast
But, without you, I shunned them like the sun at...

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An unusual thing occurred at our house Christmas Eve.
It caused us anger, it was enough to make us grieve.

We waited to the last minute for a live Christmas tree:
A brimful tree of precise size, with...

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Going to get a “haircut” today
Actually getting all of them cut
Cutting just one would hardly be noticed
Now I'm being quite a silly nut

There's many other sayings similar to this
English is overloaded I find
Wanna hear others...

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Going to get a “haircut” today
Actually getting all of them cut
Cutting just one would hardly be noticed
Now I'm being a silly nut

There's many other sayings similar to this
English is overloaded I find
Wanna hear some others...

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Ignorance is bliss said the uneducated Miss
Take the tiger by the tail, and then give a hiss.
A snake in the grass thought outside of the box
You can’t judge a book by its cover, said the...

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I would give an arm and a leg to see him, she said.
She was going to meet a new guy by name of Ted.
Only time will tell if things will turn out okay.
I am weak...

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Why Didn’t the Armadillo Cross the Road?

By Elton Camp

We see them on the highway dead as a doornail
Despite a suit or armor over all but head & tail
Is it because they’re stupid or are they...

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DOORNAIL (love song from a zombie) 
 

I’m alive despite the rigors 
Day by day believing 
In a world so fraught 
With each and every feeling 
 
One thing keeps me moving 
The very thought...

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I Should Thank Her

So often thought that I should thank her
For being such a glorious and big banker
And miracles she does with all our bills
So truly amazing how she gets her thrills.

In kitchen with cupboard...

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i never saw the doornail die
never caught sight of a fox that sly

i didn't cure a dog so sick
didn't steal a glance of thieves so thick

i can't walk tight a rail that thin
can't see some...

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Certain it is to be at steady aim
at any time
at any place
the dead mans eternal race

Shock the barstool
take the shots
given by the winged sculptures who gawk from the pughes
A pecking order in the house of...

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   I remember back in the day
     talking the night away
   with all of my Jewish friends
     Could Hitler’s Germany ever happen again?

...

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