Commercial Slam

AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my ******** has lasted four or more hours so I guess I'm going to have to seek immediate medical attention Wife: UH-UHH big boy, GET back over here Husband: But honey, It HURTS! Wife: Not tonight, I have a headache... NOT AS ‘PROGRESSIVE’ AS ONE MIGHT THINK Customer: How’s it flowin’ Flo? Flo: Just rollin’ with the flow ya’ know? Customer: I love the way your words flow, Flo…You put them together so well Flo: What’s THAT supposed to mean? Are you saying I’m well put together? Customer: No Flo, I-I meant…Y-you’re a real flower, Flo Flo: Ain’t NOBODY messin’ with MY flower Customer: Um… Flo: And I SURE ain’t no flower child either Customer: U… Flo: Stop interrupting me! You wanna’ buy some insurance or what? Customer: N… Flo: Security! I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, YA KNOW? Patient: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Life Alert: Duly noted, will there be anything else? Patient: Are you going to call an ambulance? Life Alert: Ambulance? Heck no! Call one yourself Patient: But I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Life Alert: (Sigh) Can’t you just kind of... ROLL around or something? Patient: What the…What did you say? Life Alert: Lord! Deaf as a doornail too Patient: Please! Can you at least give me some advice? Life Alert: Now she thinks we’re Dear Abbey…. WE SAY THIS STUFF AT THE END REALLY FAST SO YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND IT AND WON'T GET SUED (this medicine may cause marked drowsiness and insomnia do not take internally do not take this medicine with prescription drugs or street drugs either for that matter do not take this medication if your are pregnant or nursing if you accidentally on purpose take this medication while pregnant or nursing consult a pregnant or nursing nurse immediately if not sooner or later as a matter of fact don't take this medicine at all flush it down the damn toilet to hide the evidence and besides it doesn't work anyway it ain't nothing but sugar and flour haven't you heard of the power of suggestion and positive thinking we fully realize this may have a negative affect on sales but who gives a crap frankly we're tired of making this stuff pill after pill after pill very monotonous sometimes we nod off on our feet one time a guy did that and he fell on the conveyor belt and ended up getting wrapped and packaged and shipped off to god knows where when we contacted the police to report a missing person they said that's your problem we're not gonna go around looking for some idiot wrapped in a freekin package and besides how we gonna know who's in there anyways identification would prove to be a near impossible task and we're short-handed as it is and we don't pay overtime neither so stop harassing us or we'll call the cops oh yeah we are the cops click)