Long Dermatologist Poems

The figurative nail hit on the hirsute covered head!

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy 
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer 
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the...

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So I found a small skin tag on my inner thigh a few weeks ago and me being the YouTube king ‘Do it yourself-er’ started researching on how to remove skin tags without going to...

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don't even think about it
a bucket of motel ice in the face
proving the thing in itself does not exist
because he registered all the meanings all the time
with a nausea so profound 
the retching never ended
rearranging...

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Assorted shades are walking down the street and it is not fashion week, the mongrels are walking around the town selling bake goods and delicate cookies to the people they meet, then they  put...

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SISTERHOOD OF AVON

Oh how I miss the sisterhood
the brrr...ringing of a bell
a catalog and a smile in hand

the scent of sweet cologne
nearly met customers at the door
miraculously in their own flavor

jingle jangle of jewelry 
not...

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Potential cause célèbre dermatological solution
to stem palmar hyperhidrosis,
which medical break thru a last ditch effort
if Glycopyrrolate ineffective
to stave off sweaty hands.

Venerable Doctor Harold Milstein
an acclaimed dermatologist
possesses over 45 years
experience with Dermatologic Care,
Cosmetic Dermatology, and
Mohs Surgery...

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Aha...At Last,..Bitta Bing Bitta Bang
The Figurative Nail Hit On The Hair Strand Size Head!

Though no physician,
this aging baby boomer
absolutely, intuitively, and
unequivocally sensed hair loss (mine),
at first a speculative rumor
not simply in my (ahem) head,
no matter...

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It is not because I was unduly worried then.
That miserable beauty spot was becoming a ball.
I never bothered about it since I was a man
Or that it could some sort of vicious cancer I recall.

But...

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The dermatologist
He was a big expansive man who had a Homeric laughter
when not shouting at nurses who loved him.
He performed surgery on me and warned the problem
would reappear in a few years; it did.
At sixty-five,...

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So as not to come under the scrutiny of an oncologist,
Each six months to check my moles I visit my dermatologist!
His exam is as thorough as that of an investigative criminologist.
Sometimes he'll take a biopsy...

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Grazing upon my hide,
lumbering,
ravenous beasts
farm,
crop, and munch upon
the harvest rich-fields
of my squamous integrum.

The dermatologist tells me not to worry,
that it’s just the normal microscopic
fauna and flora.
They clean away the dead,
vacuuming-up
the desiccated debris
and dander.

“We are not...

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Ever been given the “bum's rush”?
It happened to me yesterday
By this highfalutin dermatologist
Who's definitely overpaid

Appeared to me his only concern
Was how many souls he could see
To help him choose between a Jaguar
A Mercedes or an...

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In younger days, my doctor calls
Were few and far between.
A checkup visit wasn’t ever
Part of my routine.

But aging changes all of that
For everyone is trying,
By seeing every specialist,
To staunch the fear of dying.

So now a...

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it's quite good actually
Jericho likes it - 
but i'm struggling not to giggle
as i lie on the bed in the middle
of the night

my wife is not giggling
she is asleep
but i am certain i heard giggling
through...

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Ophthalmologist
   Checked eyes
   Have styes

Proctologist
   Drop drawers
   Up yours

Plastic Surgeon
   Replace
   Plain face

Gastroenterologist
   Pass gas
   No class

Dermatologist
  ...

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