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Skin Tag fiasco

So I found a small skin tag on my inner thigh a few weeks ago and me being the YouTube king ‘Do it yourself-er’ started researching on how to remove skin tags without going to a dermatologist. I came across this handy little gadget that painlessly removes skin tags, moles, warts, freckles and tattoos. Two days later thanks to Amazon prime shipping my package was delivered. Well I decided I needed to learn how to use this little miracle device and who better to be my first Guinea pig than Tasha. She has a small skin tag on her neck and after putting on a sales pitch that would make the Sham-Wow Guy jealous she agreed to the procedure. Now this thing has a zero to eight setting so I started kinda low at three. I steadied myself and touched the tip of the needle to her neck and she let out a scream that could be used in Hollywood horror movie soundtracks. I slowly backed away cause she gave me ‘the look’ and retreated to my bathroom to deal with this bothersome skin tag on my leg. So I sit on the bathroom counter with plenty of light to perform my first self surgery and set the device to (1) cause 3 didn’t agree with Tasha very well. I touched the tip of the needle to the skin tag and there was baaaarely a tingle felt. I upped the setting to 2 then 3. All I could think of was what a wuss! Now this device is pretty much a needle that shoots out an electrical arch and burns away anything it touches. I worked around the base of the skin tag cause that’s what I remember the old lady in the Youtube video saying. Setting # 3 really wasn’t getting it so I continuously turned up the juice until I was finally at the highest setting. It hurt some but hey I’m saving money by doing this myself and I don’t have to drop my pants in front of a dermatologist. After about ten minutes of burning the $#!t out of this little thing looking like some kind of crazed tig welder it was still hanging on for dear life. I decided to stop after the bathroom started smelling like Jeffrey Dahmer’s kitchen on BBQ night. I could have swore the old lady in the video said the skin tag will fall off after a few days. Well the next morning I dropped my shorts and looked down at my leg and discovered what I had done. Not only did I fail at removing the little fellow but I had obviously angered it. It was like I had a third nipple on my leg and not the size of my own God given nipple but rather the kind a lactating third trimester first time nursing mom would have. Never again will I attempt this!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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