Long Chomping Poems

Poem revised Memorial Day May 30th, 2022 at 1500 hours

Flagrante delict adulterous sordid behavior 
automatically linkedin with Lothario;
an unscrupulous seducer of women, 
based upon a character 
in The Impertinent Curious Man, 
a story within a...

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I met a proper woman in a proper pub on a Monday in Peoria. It was noon, time for lunch, and we were sitting stool to stool over very large burgers at a long mahogany...

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Dot dot dot, and in other news devil's advocate claims Teflon Trump

courtesy the comfort of his mancave, 
I (a mutated batman wannabe) 
doth prattle and stump
and display wide whirled webbed 
and variegated tail feathers 
(also...

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Au revoir oh perilous freedom...

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the comma error
punctuated mein kampf with disequilibrium.

Ever since the notions
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
coalesced within the mindscape
attributed to one
or more...

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Every January first of the new year...

finds me (a doggone muttering Homo sapien)
to give pause for reminiscences
and to take stock (sh lock and barrel)
about mein kampf in general
and previous three hundred
and sixty five days in...

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POETIC PREFACE:

An inner conflict dust brew
within this scribe, who offers ye to chew
(like sweet treats metaphorically) thee do
tee incumbent, when Doomsday clock
counts down minutes few
according Al Gore rhythm
unstoppably ticking,
when life gets turned to global goo
tenderized...

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I relished being hungry for Thanksgiving pop slop gloppy grub

whereby the missus didst potchke
created whirling dervish hubbub
after enjoying repast, 
(fit for a tarnished king),
yours truly able, eager, and ready
to soak my ego freezing carcass in...

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silently wailing analogy to Moby Dick 
regarding how yesterdays 
prurient laced introductions 
to rhyme in retrospect embarrassingly blows.

Herewith to enliven anecdote ever further,
I inject humorous tidbit
just gimme moment to unload and reach
into psychological metaphorical knapsack
particularly...

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Hyperbolic quasi autobiographical prevarication...
caricature sketch of person best known to yours truly

What began as an honest 
to goodness attempt 
to craft personal truthful profile
evolved into a fictional poem
manifested into the following.

Despite the onslaught of paparazzi,
I...

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Jinxed jesting jejune junior jobber...
just jabbering gibberish (A - J)

Again, another awkward ambitious
arduous attempt at alphabetically
arranging atrociously ambiguously
absolutely asinine avoidable alliteration.

Because...? Basically bonafide belching,
bobbing, bumbling, bohemian beastie boy,
bereft bummer, bleeds blasé blues, begetting
bloviated boilerplate bildungsroman,
boasting...

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It's Christmas eve dawn
and something is very wrong
For the children unable to wait
watching for Santa and it's late
The stockings are empty not even a lump of coal
no presents under the tree did Santa bestow
Three little...

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“Clap your terrible wings, vivacious serpent of old!
Imagine my plight as dangerous as your spite,
Stomp your clawed feet on these prison floors,
Peace shall always follow the sink of your fangs…”

Silenced were the wailing demons round,
Crouched...

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  In the meta-versed binaural wish song beats, 
skid row streets of the bottomless pits of Metropolis/ Thebes, 
you are quardoned off and printed in a likeness 
wronged-vaped, winged
to the wilderness by their covens,...

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A bullfrog and a butterfly both chanced upon each other.
‘My dear, you are an ugly beast!’ the bullfrog dared to utter.
‘Why froggy,’ gasped the butterfly, astounded by his words.
 ‘My beauty is unparallel while yours...

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The bane of a cold sore inside my mouth

Sent my smooching life south,
whereby I felt like poor Georgie Porgie,
pudding and pie,
who kissed the girls and made them cry.

The medical term for cold sores,
Herpes Labialis, refers
to...

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UNDERBELLIES


What underbelly is this 
          containing quiet grasping greed for
my magical sword gifted to me by St Michael ?
       What...

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Worry knot chokes out the living daylights

I know from personal experience
the foolhardiness of
courting, flirting, honeymooning...
worse case scenario,
particularly when just a wee lad,
yours truly internalized
unfamiliar bodily aches and pains
as a death sentence,
slept with one eye opened
against...

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Earth day 2020 – Wednesday, April 22

Bajillion banshees scream bloody murder methought
upon Biblical (lionized) forebears stalking heads
birthed courtesy accursed beasts hood besought
winds howl across the oblate spheroid
methinks courtesy Homo sapiens horror wrought.

Climate change/global warming siren...

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How convenient slated to receive second dose...
COVID-19 February 13th, 2021

Here at Highland Manor apartments
me and the missus occupy room B44
courtesy qualified medical personnel
Lansdale, Penna CVS store #01379.

No qualm regarding being vaccinated
though yours truly NOT panic...

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Preface:
Aye do attest
that poetry may not be best
to express whoosh to chest

git a lee till bitta chump change
boot an overpowering literary force
   to pocket earning for a grange
(hmm...who knows maybe 

  ...

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...Ideally Primed To Write...

Fallow wing on figurative
     awk kill lees heal
of: "My on call (Uncle)
     Muse Never Sleeps"-
     which hoop fully

  ...

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                       CONT FROM PART 1 ... 
PART 2 THE WOMAN WHO COULD EAT...

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Employment quest sought December 11th, 2021

Across cyberspace,
the following epistle
yours truly (me) doth lob
as the figurative pressure
tightens on the virtual knob,
I would moost certainly benefit
from a part time job
hence this rather goofy atypical reply
crafted (at initial
ten...

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Thy scalp thoroughly massaged during hair washing, 
after showering (frequently tapping the cold water faucet – 
in an effort to ramp up brisk temperature tolerance), 
an immediate process to shake out matted down hairs 
follows...

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The broken piggy bank
strewn into a bajillion little pieces

Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the missus, this wordsmith notates
unwittingly linkedin to his misfortune,
a situation he hates,
especially, an unavoidable...

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