Long Aarp Poems

Half a dozen plus years ago the following became a near reality

Countdown to homelessness – 
mars this earthlinked sole Harris - son
panhandler would would register 
pyrrhic victory won.

10…9…8…3..2..1… 
Found me linkedin at the end of...

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Unitarian Church returnee

After a hiatus of countless years
plus an additional 
almost three months 
since a major makeover,
(I experienced the magic
wrought courtesy
a bonafide big hearted 
beautician at Salon Nova
located in beautiful 
downtown Limerick, Pennsylvania

to render my...

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Cooped within ancient bodies, this inhabitant 
dwells amongst an elder net 
of crabby, crotchety, curmudgeonly claque 
of old folks, only a portion of population I met
which achey, flaky, kooky motley crue 
disgruntlement fed as peevish...

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Several threats poured in my 
mind was dizzy I knew killers 
were trying to end my life
since the failed attempts 
several shootings car bombing 
my mind focused on my 
wearing wires pregnant buying 
weapons and...

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To my lovely wife (who has a great sense of humor)

Turning 50
You may think is nifty
But truth be told
It means you’re quite old

You may have more wisdom
And a walk in tub
You rate a new AARP...

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Yikes, aside from mental
     health re: psychotherapy,
     which haint the worse
cyst phase of being
     objectionably being called "old man",
    ...

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....BLACK HELICOPTERS NEVER FLEW. 
                   (except in 
         ...

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Once an alien with eyes like LASER
Greeted me with a green TASER
He told me he was registered as a WASP 
And after retirement would join the AARP
He was driven by the FOMO
And said his motto...

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ON TURNING FIFTY

As my cousin turned fifty there was talk of AARP.

Two years behind Danny, I ask the million dollar question:

“What is AARP?” – “Oh you’ll find out,” my uncle laughs.

~

Fifty is the turning point...

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I'VE COME OF AGE

 

July 22nd 1947 to July 22nd 2012

I have come of age today

sixty-five years old,

I am of the age for Social Security,

or in some places, Old-age pension,

I am of the age to...

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Those damn old people with their applesauce, and need for retirement
I giggle at the sizes adult diapers come in,
They haven't worked hard enough for me yet,
We need more cotton picked more tobacco chopped
And more polyester...

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This morning Joe got up to get ready for bed,
Wife poured his coffee and toast over his head
He put on his pajamas with a favorite red tie,
And set out for work as a local international...

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PEE WEE HERMAN
Thought cops wouldn’t determine,
he put himself in that popcorn box.
Maybe he should have used his socks.

HOWARD HUGHES
A world famous recluse.
Millions for planes, women and cars,
treasured most his urine in jars.

CATHERINE THE GREAT
A czarina...

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It's not a prerequisite, of course, but if a piece of writing is any good, chances are it's probably offensive to someone. (Paraphrasing John Irving-A Widow for One Year) So, writer beware...


Words are a writer's...

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Congratulations! You've now lived
a full half-century.
I'll bet you're asking, "What's in store?
What changes will I see?"

As one well past her fiftieth,
I know a thing or two.
Sit back, relax, and listen up
as I enlighten you.

First, you'll...

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Happy Birthday, Son!
on your 50th year.
Celebrate while you can
and be of good cheer. 

Son, don't be alarmed
as the years seem to fly by.
just five more to go
and you'll be fifty-five!

"Now, I'm one of those seniors,"
you'll...

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