O bitter, bitter soul! Why feel such hate?
My enemies so victimized and robbed
me—I'm unwilling in my hardened state
to forgive them because I feel so mobbed
by this gang of ungodly, false believers,
whose cruelty and unkindness have let me down.
God's church-going “saints,” these heathen deceivers,
tried to dethrone me and take away my crown.
But, I hold my head up high and go on;
though many think me lowly and unworthwhile,
I'm still here while they're already dying and gone:
in the end, goodness will go the extra mile.
No matter who's right, God gets the last laugh:
so, I'll keep walking down the better path.
If I die I die and the last laugh I’ll have…
Will be at those fools who think I care.
I’ve never spoken to a dead man…
‘bout his misery or despair
But….. when I speak to those who tell me they're living
Most complain in a thousand ways,,,,
Counting all of their life’s problems ...
Living in worry all of their days
This is not to say the act of dying
May not be filled with some concern
But there’s no doubt about it
Each one of us will have our turn
A padded cell is no place for me
Today I intend to be forever free
That caped crusader will rue the day
They locked my maniacal laughter away
No prison
No asylum can keep me under lock and key
Not even Arkham with all its security
Soon I will have my revenge on those two
Who think they have dismantled my crew
How helpless the masked man will be
When the end of Robin he will see
And screens throughout Gotham City
Will witness my gleeful superiority.
But first I must surprise the orderly
Who will bring my evening meal to me.
Once the key is turned in the door
Quickly will I bring him to the floor
Where he will end up in stitches
Relieved of his uniform and britches
Hush ,I hear him turn the key
Soon from Arkham will I be free
Summons somewhere up the courage
that has managed to get you to this
point in your life thus far
And drag yourself clinging kicking
and screaming somehow onwards up
If only for if nothing else and no other
particular reason than not giving
life the satisfaction
Of the experience of seeing and feeling
what it is like to be on the recieving end
Of having two fingers or the bird flipped
at you
Simply for the fun and he'll of it
And remember this they who laugh last
Twinkle with an everlasting smile
Which cometh with a lifetime guarantee
And others will intern surely bouyed on
bye your inspiration will be bound to
wishfully follow in your wake
Because the first and most important
domino of them all is the initial one
Otherwise no one else will and has
anyone to follow
Told over and over,
the lie became true
As memory inverted,
the falsehood imbued
My cornerstone crumbling,
sticks piled with straw
A last self-deception
—the fantasy law
(Rosemont Pennsylvania: February, 2021)
My girlfriend dumped me, after I stole her wheelchair
She came crawling back
Funniest Couplet Ever PC
Sponsor: L Milton Hankins
Be patient, oh, honored one
The trials have just begun
Run fast to the Almighty
That's how tests are won
Hold on to patience, my dear
You shall not grieve nor fear
It may seem too hazy now
The horizon shall soon clear
Be patient and never go amiss
Seek His face with life in bliss
Your Lord shall surely give you
And you shall be well pleased
Hold on, my dear, this chance is ours
This present clearly smells like flowers
Be still and calm amidst the storm
'What is patience but a few hours'
Be patient for if you only knew
The last and final laugh is sweet
And it certainly belongs to you
Outside the backdrop of the given world,
the emptiness fled
And deep in the recesses of what’s never to be,
contradiction fed
Far beyond meaning and stated intent,
all reasons turned to dust
With nothing to prove and less to embrace
—the laugh at last on us
(Villanova Pennsylvania: December, 2019)
Thank the Lord
I never had children
As with me the cycle ends
No more bad luck to put upon another
No more laugh's and jokes at our expense
Hereditary persecution ends here with me
Tomorrow you will have to find another poor soul
Upon which to pray your game
Of picking the wings off defenseless fly's
No more crying
No tear's for you to see
Find another mouse with which to play
My family tree never did you any harm
But that didn't stop you
Just know this
For all you gave
All I took
This is my final gift to you
I have the last laugh
With me it ends here
I leave you no heir to continue
Let it be known you heard it here
No more tear's
No more fear's
See you on the other side
On a level playing field
And by the way
Vie got your Number
On a bench in the park,
A memorial plaque
Made my husband glance twice;
He was taken aback.
It basically stated,
“In memory of
Bernie Silverman…”
(Someone deserving of love.)
But a sentence was added
Which sure underscores
Bernie’s life – “Who preferred
To be (mainly) indoors.”
My spouse took a photo;
I chuckled out loud
But wondered if Bernie’d
Be angry or proud.
For the last place he’d be,
If the truth was portrayed,
Was outside on the bench
Where the plaque is displayed.
Here lies John Raccoon Charms
Who laughed at wife’s fat arms.
Written 4-24=-2019
Contest: An Epitaph to make us Laugh
Sponsor: Jesse Rowe
I laughed as God and Satan quarreled….. beneath my window.
©12/25/2018
The last line Poetry contest
Silent One - sponsor
Here lies that cleverest of politicians, Dick Nixon
Who was crafty and devious and full of tricks an'
About whom it was said: Vote for Nixon in '72
Why switch Dicks in the middle of a screw?
September 16, 2018
Entry in "A Funny Epitaph" Contest
Sponsor: Jesse Rowe
The girl he dated briefly
Had pulled some shenanigans
Everyone liked her at first
Loved her, until she showed her true colors.
Always laughing, making fun, teasing, playing
She made up lies about him, the second he told her it was not working out.
Told terrible things to his family, friends, and co-workers.
Languished, and lied, stalked him, had to be served with a restraining order.
Always kind to her, and gentle with his good-bye, he was hurt and shocked.
Understandably relieved when a casual acquaintance said,
Guess What? No one believes her. She is not the woman we thought she was.
He could not help but breathe a deep sigh of relief. Her behavior saved his
reputation.
Life without death contains nothing more than death without life, it remains unfulfilled straight from rejected beginnings of ending, a muted mockery of laughter for crying out loud.
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