After you left
It was never the same
No one seemed to understand
That You Weren't Coming Back
I tried calling you
On the first day
You said
Nothing
You didn't pick up
I tried again
Still
Nothing
I began to realize that
You wouldn't
Ever
Answer
But I
Didn't
Give
Up
On your birthday,
I called
Waited
Cried for the rest of the day
On Christmas Eve,
I called
Waited
You don't have anyone else to be with
On Valentines Day,
I called
Waited
Sent you a box of chocolates
Three days later,
It came back
With your handwriting,
Return to Sender
I
Cry
and
Cry
Why
Did
You
Leave?
Faces all on fire,
eyes catching the dancing flames~
light in their pupils,
dark fireplace gathers each gaze
keeps them when eyes look away.
Wood splits and whip-cracks,
sparks surge up into night's arms
like stars finding night~
the fireplace adores show-time
in its arena of stone.
Ash calms burnt embers,
stones lament the loss of light
warmth without a flame~
the fireplace cradles the shape
of what can no longer burn.
Smoke has lost its verve,
curling up now from the seams.
staining blank-faced stones~
glowing warm in the half-light
clinging to the afterglow.
Dark, damp, and dank now,
night has drunk the final warmth
Cold soot scents the stone~
the shiny green-black hearth waits
keeping winter for the years.
Morning finds no glow,
only the smell of old ash
clinging to the stones~
the fireplace dreams of footsteps
time itself tending the cold.
The last ember died
while darkness quietly drank
its final warm breath~
the hearth retains every face
beneath its moss and silence.
At dawn I breathed the fresh air,
a fragile hope, a whispered prayer;
the light rose slowly across the land
and grace kept finding me.
By noon the world pressed hard and wide,
yet still a calm stirred deep inside;
a strength I felt but could not see~
and grace kept finding me.
At dusk the sky turned ember-gold,
a place where weary truths unfold;
the day exhaled its certainty~
and grace kept finding me.
And when the night grew still and long,
my heart sang a soulful song;
in darkness, too, I came to see~
that grace kept finding me.
Faith kept us
when everyone was opposed
to our being together.
Faith lifted us
above the careless whispers
of those who said you and I
weren't meant to be.
Faith strengthened us
when no one understood
what we felt in our hearts.
Faith helped us
to see that God was the author
of our love story
and it was written
in the Heavens before
the dawning of time.
Faith assisted us
in creating a foundation
upon which to build
our love upon.
Faith
a most powerful dynamic.
our love is finished
going through your leftovers
find nothing to keep
tossing of pictures, letters
souvenirs, knick-knacks, trinkets
all reminders gone
nothing left but bitterness
one thing I must keep
Spring is here,
and for the first time
the air smells like living.
Standing in the golden rays,
I feel a weight lifted —
like shackled stone losing its chains,
floating back towards the surface of the ocean,
carried to and fro,
dancing with the waves
as they carry me towards the horizon.
My lips begin to crack,
dry from the salt
that preserved my spark.
I sip from the freshwater spring
that bursts forward —
a ship with tattered sails,
hemming the threads
one seam at a time,
secured at the helm,
navigating west,
chasing the sunset.
I will now never forget it when I hear that song or the way the new girl says hello. So much of life still belongs to him. The first one I truly loved. But I do not. For that was the last time my heart would beat that rhythm.
I hid my heart in stillness
Because it runs to you easily.
I denied almost every glance
Because my courage was never enough.
What should I do?
Because I never learned to love you out loud!
The drums awaken beneath my feet
My breath aligns with summer's heat
Each step repeats the sacred beat
Jingles answer earth to ground
They shimmer prayers with sound
I sew the story onto skin
Each cone an oath I carry in
Their silver tongues begin within
Ankles speak in moving light
Dresses know moving might
I follow rythm, new and old
From noises taught, a hand hold
It braids my hair, keeps me cold
Between strikes, answers reply
Pulse answers pulse; i fly
The floor becomes a lake of rain
My knees recall the coming pain
Each jingle breaks the falling chain
I dance healing into heart
For those who ache, I keep smart
The elders hum my hidden name
My steps return the gifted game
I wear the sound that says my fame
This dress of tin becomes home
Where bodies mend; spirits roam
No matter how provoked you are—
Do not utter it—out loud—
The Tongue is but a reckless Guest
That shatters sacred Vow—
You take it with you to the Grave—
A silent, final Trust—
For Words once freed—are Winter Birds
That die—or turn to Dust—
The Storm may pound the inward Heart—
And Tempt the Soul to Cry—
Yet Honor is the quieter Voice
That bids the Secret—die—
What lips betray—Time multiplies—
What Silence seals—endures—
The Grave alone is wide enough
For Truth the World obscures—
So keep it folded—like a Star—
Within the dark of Mind—
Some Lights are meant to travel on
Yet leave no Flame—behind—
On its plinth, behushed, at hall's end
Beneath clock, coaxed backwards
Privet-pungent, in its own
Sighed out thin light's regard.
At day's sagging end, dredging up
More dust, shuffling, each nears
Its emotional-responsive charge.
As with priest's holy fears.
Filling up for yore, propelled rough
Perpetual mud, that was
So light held what were golden times!
So thoughtless, a gemmed mass.
Whisper it softly, your innermost secret;
Tell me your heart’s desire.
What would make your dreams come true;
What sets your heart afire
For I am the soul of discretion.
Your secrets are safe with me.
So, if I could grant you three wishes,
What would those wishes be?
Oh! I wasn’t expecting that;
And that one’s a bit bizarre.
And, as for number three, my dear,
That’s going rather far.
Well, you have surprised me.
That’s quite a revelation.
And of course I’ll keep your secret,
For a small consideration.
A Secret Kept for John Lawless
Deep within those grooves of mind's gray matter
In Shadows deep where fears and whispers creep
Emotions fall, covered deep, hold chatter
Where tales were spun, now secrets to keep
Emotions pressed down tightly sealed away
A door once locked, now cracked, worn out and serrated
Truth hidden, packed tightly, out of sight stays
Locked doors hold back secrets that are bated
With my every sigh zephyr calmly sweep
A skeletal key's rustic charm unlocks
Though hidden away where this world can't peep
There is nothing that can the groove unblock
Listen closely to this secret that's kept
He made me feel that I did it while I slept
Questions rolled through my meek emotive drift.
No answer quick aided my bleak heart rift.
Was this just my intended soul growth hit
or aimed as her fear and faith lesson kit?
Could this drama be a shared karma script?
The same tree roots nurtured us until grown.
The same backdrop displays memories sown.
Never had our love absorbed a sharp tone.
Unconditional love has always shown.
Damn the man for using my love for her
as a hush guarantee bound to occur.
She may never know a heart saboteur
growls beneath his displayed domestic purr.
I knew I must forgive the man some day
but first I wished God to direct my way.
My senses listened for a vibe array.
In time, spirit flashed an answer display - -
For now her growth entails false lived merry
over emotions heavy to carry.
Acceptance released all held contrary.
As for the ass, he’s at karma’s mercy.
The flowers that so lovingly you held
And savored for some moment with closed eyes;
The sweets that from their wrappers you unshelled,
For which you gave a kiss to be my prize;
The necklace with a pretty pendant thing
Which on your slender neck you proudly hung;
The ring that on your finger now does cling
And much delighted you had almost sung.
The smiles so innocent and joyful arms
That welcomed me when I came to your house--
Oh, you did win me over with your charms,
But it’s not you I wanted to espouse:
You thought the presents were all meant for you,
But ‘twas your sister I desired to woo.
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