I see myself
from a distance.
T h e r e is c h o i ce,
I never can pick.
They act,
I am not aligned.
W he n w e h a v e i t d o n e,
it is myself in the line.
Living like a sentinel,
watching every beam of light,
but the mirror is too fractured.
W e pu t y o u a si d e.
I own this mind and body.
yet they are shared,
by many.
U r r i g h t!
We are touched,
by flames and light.
Ripped by incongruity,
watching, living or being?
He got tired of surface,
Dove deep in the depth.
W e 'r e th e g l i t ch.
Freeing us,
for some would be a gift.
W e' r e s o m e k in d o f er r @r.
A jolt of trembling steel—
a crack that doesn’t shatter,
but ripples,
sending storms into every silent corner.
Cries fold in on themselves,
tight, suffocating strands,
all tangled too deep to get air.
This is the weight of love unreturned:
a death that breathes,
a life that drifts—
distilled by sorrow so pure
it makes its escape past the body’s treachery,
wetting the memory of the quiet erosion of tears.
Every time you slammed the door
Every time you dropped the call
Every time you yell at me through and through
I get tired too.
Every time you passed before me
Every time complaints ring upon me
Every time murmurs being me
I get tired too.
Am I your emotions punching bag?
Am I your stress reliever?
Am I your eyes strainer?
Can’t take it anymore
I wanna flee faraway
Hiding in mountains, caves and valleys
Where shadows are no more
Pissing me off I can’t control
Every time I was criticized
Every time I was embarrassed
Every time I’m manipulated
Underrated, I get tired too.
Most of the time you frown
Tantrums hit the ground
The reasons are unknown I got mixed emotions
I wanna stay away
For toxics just have pure fun with me
Seizing my right to be me
Seeing me as a piece of prey
I get tired, I am tired I am exhausted
I am frustrated
Getting messed with you
I wanna fight back with you
But it’s not necessary for I love you so
Strangled by the bond that cannot be taken
It’s not mistaken, it’s purely original
Don’t know how can this be shaken
My life is not optimal
This internal conflict
Holding all my secrets inside
Is affecting the way I am externally seen
Reacting to unknown insecurities in secret
Because uneducated people
Stigmatize everything
I gotta hide all the parts of me
They deemed as socially unacceptable
To the standards of
An unaccepting society
But I'd be a misfit and
labeled psychotic
If I opened the door up
to all the parts of me
It's hiding
It's quite the dilemma
Inside of me I'm trying to write it on the wall
So it's obvious for others to see
Maybe outline opinions
That were once outside, with breath now inside me
Opinionated, alive
Death has fallen upon them
Due to judgment from everyone else about how I am supposed to be inside and
I guess I can mark down opinions as the cause of death
On the autopsy:
"Young woman detached from any attachment to this society".
I lay in bed and try to sleep,
Pray the Lord my soul to keep.
But I fear
A past that haunts me
A future that daunts me
And I wish you were here,
To hold me and love me.
My sorrow takes hold,
And I try to be bold
But
Why didn’t you love me?
Why won’t you love me?
I’m Loveable
I try so hard to be
But Nomatter what I do
Nothings enough for you
So it’s not enough for me.
Need you here, need you here so badly
Daddy I just want to go home
I don’t belong here.
Brain splitting in two
The mind in constant fission
To sever the fruit
Consciousness fading
The mind is put asunder
A crack is shaping
Internal conflict
My mind afflicted and awhirl
Oh the need to rest
Confining the eyes
Drift away on silent wings
A better day nears
I fight for my heart The darkness and guilt encroach For life, love, family.
My thoughts of you turn in my head.
How do I move on?
When you did so quick?
I want to move on, I really do.
But God, you.
You haunt me.
You tie my wrists.
I want to want him.
But you fight my fists.
Beat me,
Bruise me,
Call me unworthy.
He thinks I’m worthy.
But you once did too.
Liar, Liar.
Why can’t I just love?
You turn my mind inside out,
And beat me, my love.
You will consume my thoughts,
and make me fear him.
He can’t be you.
No, he wouldn’t hurt me like you did.
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