being in a May-December relationship
could test the boundaries of patience
like the football socks under a teenager’s bed
it does not age well
these relationships have unique challenges
the rehashed stories of ‘the good old days’
smell of figments of their imagination
as it contradicts with history lessons taught
they harp on about ‘songs with words’
ones people could dance to
with their cheesy renditions of songs
accompanying conga lines of yesteryear
unlike today’s noisy club music
and the ability to twerk
will score you a Grammy Award
the mobility challenged can’t compete
they’ve bequeathed us an unhabitable world
where we all are now in a pickle
forming conga lines at border posts
as we try to dance out of harm’s way
Categories:
in a pickle, analogy, satire,
Form: Free verse
Remember when the paddle board was used for a different type of paddling
Categories:
in a pickle, humor,
Form: Monoku
Help me Mum I'm stuck up this tree,
I thought it was Bamboo I just couldn't see,
It's getting quite windy, so I gripping much tighter,
And I don't want to worry you but my grips getting slighter,
Come and get me Mum and I'll promise I will be a good little Panda,
Well I will be after I've eaten my tea.
Categories:
in a pickle, wind,
Form: Rhyme
Skinny skeleton sneaked out of the jack-o-lantern in record time.
I had already bet that he would; I had bet my cousin a shiny new dime.
You didn’t put him in there tightly enough, my cousin accused me.
I was not about to give him any leeway at the hallow tree.
I collected the dime and boasted to all about it that Hallows Eve.
I put on my witch costume, and I turned up my hat and one sleeve.
Others followed me to the ice cream store, where a cone was a nickle.
Unfortunately, it was three friends, so now I was in a bit of a pickle.
Categories:
in a pickle, halloween,
Form: Rhyme
Your vehicle's surely in a pickle
Because you, its owner, are so fickle
You claim depreciation
Never appreciation
You don't think your car's worth a plugged nickel
Categories:
in a pickle, car, money,
Form: Limerick
CUCUMBER I IN A PICKLE SALAD-
O' I'm in pickle
found my means in a garden.
picked, washed, cook, LOOK!
I have evolved went,
from a cucumber to a,
pickle I’m broken.
so stressed out now I’m
being cut-up and placed in
bowl made of salad
cucumberly, I-
found myself on this sandwich .
I'm in a pickle
fickle, fickle jam,
cut up placed beside crouton.
where’s the ranch dressing?
2/21/20
Categories:
in a pickle, food, irony, metaphor, word
Form: Haiku
At my friend’s house over dinner
I emptied a pickle jar
My fickle buds relished infinitum
The tickle of sweet and sour
Didn’t suspect had a base of rum.
Soon the full moon appeared sickle
From forehead sweat dripped in trickle
It was fruitless to stickle
For beyond doubt I was pickled
I found prickly me in a pickle.
February 21, 2020
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
This is a pickle so I'll bear-and-grin it
It's my very own pickle got me IN it
It was always sweet with pickle power
But all these wrappings make it sour
Perhaps you'll get the urge to peel it
For dressed like this I'll never feel it
Despite your valiant efforts twerkin'
I'll still be left with a gimpy Gherkin
Another tumble upon your hassock
Is a fruitless fruit not worth a Vlasic
For a pickle in a poncho is under par
And it's far better off in a canning jar
Cuz ...
It's not the pick of pickle, it's in how you aptly pack it
But I can't pack my pickle ... in a damned latex jacket.
~ 7th Place ~ in the "Pickle" Poetry Contest, Nina Parmenter, Judge & Sponsor.
Categories:
in a pickle, fun, humorous, passion, word
Form: Rhyme
In a pickle am I. All is green.
It's like some kind of plant quarantine!
Yes, I feel like I’m hidden from view
and without a clue what I should do!
What a pickle I’m IN. It’s severe.
How the heck did I ever get here?
It’s not comfy to be in this pickle.
And now am I feeling a prickle?
I much would prefer to be tickled
than vinegar-smothered – so PICKLED.
Like a gherkin, it’s not even sweet
and a pickle I never would eat!
This is nasty – like some sour pill.
Oh, it’s bad. It’s a really BIG dill!
Feb. 20, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's Pickle Poetry Contest
Categories:
in a pickle, humor,
Form: Couplet
I'm in a preposterous pickle
Caught up in a pitiful plight,
Hands raised in a sign of surrender
Enmeshed in a garment too tight!
I'm bleating a plea for assistance
But nobody answers my call,
As changing room cubicles whisper
'She tried on a dress far too small!'
19.02.20
Pickle Poetry Contest
sponsored by Nina Parmenter
Categories:
in a pickle, conflict, stress, vanity,
Form: Rhyme
Seems to me, we're in quite of a pickle,
Our leaders do all that they can
To grab power, that's all! Men are fickle
At best, rarely honor God's plan.
What a joke! How to love one another?
You're you! So how can I be safe?
"Lock you up!" There's no way you're my brother!
The thought that you're free makes me chafe!
You're not me! Dear God! How that perplexes?
To pray for your death one recourse.
But to put you in prison costs taxes!
'You and I?' Cart's worth more than a horse?
Long Tooth
July 10, 2018
Categories:
in a pickle, abuse, life, political,
Form: Rhyme
My wife is even worse than Aunt Bee when she makes pickles.
She gave some to some celebrities and that's what killed Don Rickles.
When people eat her pickles, they turn green and puke.
Then they want to fight, they tell me to put up my dukes.
My wife sells her pickles at our convenience store.
When people eat them, they don't shop there anymore.
People criticize her pickles and she thinks they're being mean.
But just like Aunt Bee's pickles, they taste just like kerosene.
If you're smart, you'll take some sage advice from me.
Stay away from her pickles if you want to stay healthy.
Categories:
in a pickle, food, funny, humor, sick,
Form: Rhyme
Trump In A Pickle
Someone ran over Trump's bicycle
Chose another he was in a pickle
And with women wherever he went
Had failed to obtain their consent
All he did was their toes tickle.
Jim Horn
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous,
Form: Limerick
Ended Up in a Pickle
You probably ended up in a pickle
Received no things from theory called trickle
And felt down after reading latest pole
Gave away heart and sold your soul.
Some also heard what I often mention
Trump in ranks causes much dissension
Created chaos and also a lot of fear
Wish he left us and is no longer here.
At convention last night yelled out loud
Most important thing is being proud
Of who we are and no one will abuse
And never mishandle or else misuse.
America is beautiful in all that I see
Looks so lovely here in land of the free
And Hillary truly has proven potential
To guide and lead us and be presidential.
Great guardian angel to us God has sent
And now know what he always meant
Be careful what you do or say in a mike
Someone was listening who is a little tyke.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Categories:
in a pickle, allegory, analogy, appreciation, together,
Form: Couplet
All alone and wanting a bite to eat,
she made herself a special treat,
but needed the finishing touch,
and that was to add a pickle...
all the while thinking,
they can be very fickle...
Grabbing a new jar,
trying to screw the lid off,
she twisted and she let out a shout;
"This is like trying to break into Fort Knox!"
And also wishing that she had a nickle for
every time she tried to pry open
a jar of pickles!
Feeling frustrated and dismayed,
when she turned to put away
the jar of pickles that day,
she was stunned to find
a large jar of nickles..
with a note on it saying:
Now if you can open this jar,
here are some nickles
to buy you
one of those
rubber grip gizmos!
P.S. And some more pickles!
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous, silly,
Form: Light Verse
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