Best In A Pickle Poems
WARNING: The following poem is a figment of the author's imagination and deals with fictional characters.....MEN! ;) (THIS IS FOR FUN, MEN, SO DON'T GO AND GET ALL HUFFY AND PUFFY ON ME!)
Fickle fickle…men are fickle
Get the women in a pickle
Sweet talk sweet talk…how they tickle
Treat a treasure like a nickle
Chat up chat up and then lie
Sugared bites of ego pie
Flirty flirty….brew a storm
Dissipate then like the norm
Riding riding on her wave
Naughty naughty to the grave
Feel up feel up where he can
Make her think that he's a….MAN
Swagger swagger, what a sight!
Thinking he's got dynamite
Tries to see how far he'll get
Up to third base is his bet
Fickle fickle, fizzle….pop
Mess with me, I’ll make you drop!
Eileen Manassian Ghali
Never was good at humor! This is as good as it gets with me!
Categories:
in a pickle, men,
Form:
Rhyme
WARNING: The following poem is a figment of the author's imagination and deals with fictional characters.....FAITHFUL MEN! ;)
(THIS IS FOR FUN, MEN, SO DON'T GO AND GET ALL HUFFY AND PUFFY ON ME!)
Fickle, fickle…men are fickle
Get the women in a pickle
Sweet talk, sweet talk…how they tickle
Treat a treasure like a nickle
Chat up, chat up, and then lie
Sugared bites of ego pie
Flirty, flirty….brew a storm
Dissipate just like the norm
Riding, riding on her wave
Naughty, naughty to the grave
Feel up, feel up where he can
Make her think that he's a….MAN
Swagger, swagger, what a sight!
Thinks he carries...."dynamite" ;)
Tries to see how far he'll get
Up to third base is his bet
Fickle fickle, fizzle….POP
Mess with me, I’ll make it drop!
Eileen Manassian Ghali
A repost. My Muse is still on holiday in Greece. Can't write for the life of me....but I miss community. So...here it goes...
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous, men,
Form:
Couplet
WARNING: The following poem is a figment of the author's imagination and deals with fictional characters.....WOMEN! ;) (THIS IS FOR FUN, GIRLS, SO DON'T GO AND GET ALL HUFFY AND PUFFY ON ME!)
Fickle Fickle - For Every Man in a Pickle
Fickle fickle…. Broads are fickle
Get a man into a pickle
Sweet talk sweet talk…. Yes they tickle
Treat us lower than a nickle
Chat up chat up does belie
Gives us bites of ego pie
Flirty flirty… grows the storm
Disappears like the norm
Riding riding is her wave
Naughty naughty to her grave
Touch up touch up where she can
Making sure that he’s a man
Swish and sway, what a sight
Thinking she is dynamite
Tries to see how far he’ll go
Gets to third base, she says no
Fickle fickle, fizzle…. Strop
Mess with me, I’ll make you stop.
In Response to Auntie Eileen Ghali
For her Fickle Fickle poem
Categories:
in a pickle, humor, women,
Form:
I gave my love a sour pickle
His eyeballs then started to trickle
Puckered up was his mouth
And his tongue had gone south
To see him so gave me a tickle!
**for Pickles &Tickles limerick contest
sponsored by (Destroyer ((Poet
Categories:
in a pickle, food, funny, girlfriend-boyfriend
Form:
Limerick
All alone and wanting a bite to eat,
she made herself a special treat,
but needed the finishing touch,
and that was to add a pickle...
all the while thinking,
they can be very fickle...
Grabbing a new jar,
trying to screw the lid off,
she twisted and she let out a shout;
"This is like trying to break into Fort Knox!"
And also wishing that she had a nickle for
every time she tried to pry open
a jar of pickles!
Feeling frustrated and dismayed,
when she turned to put away
the jar of pickles that day,
she was stunned to find
a large jar of nickles..
with a note on it saying:
Now if you can open this jar,
here are some nickles
to buy you
one of those
rubber grip gizmos!
P.S. And some more pickles!
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous, silly,
Form:
Light Verse
The Elves were in a pickle
As the Reindeer brought forth a crucial stat.
They would surely die... should they attempt to fly
Now dear Santa was too fat.
Their contract was clearly structured
To keep them safe and sound.
Where it would state... poor Santa's weight
Could not exceed three hundred pounds.
They were well aware of Santa's feelings
And no one wished to see him hurt.
So to fool the man... they devised a plan
To secretly let out his pants and shirts.
But the Reindeer were still troubled
As Rudolph sadly repeated their demands.
'There is no earthly way... to pull the toys and sleigh
With such a chubby Santa in command.'
The Elves put their heads together
And a clever idea was quickly gleaned.
For the next two weeks... they would make him eat
Nothing but pork and beans.
With a chilly Christmas Eve upon them,
They struggled to lift Santa to his sleigh.
But with a heave and a push and a slap to his tush,
He called out to the Reindeer...'Up Up and Away.'
The Reindeer pulled as best they could
And all would groan and wince.
Santa tugged on the reins as the reindeer strained
But the sleigh was not moving an inch.
Santa adjusted his boots, then unleashed the most heinous of toots
And they made ready for him to depart.
So to continue their game... the Elves ignited a flame
And set fire to one of his farts.
There was an incredible sound as the sleigh leapt off the ground
And disappeared into the blackness of night.
As the stars were a shootin'... the old Elf was a tootin'
And it made a most interesting sight.
With the children asleep... Santa made not a peep
But there were those who were cautious to tell.
In the morning they were greeted and many strangely tweeted,
They were accosted by a foul odor and smell.
The Elves were ecstatic Christmas Eve had been saved
And the Reindeer had suffered no harm.
But Santa was still pollutin' as he continued his tootin'
And Mrs. Claus made him stay in the barn.
So when the weather turns cold and the wind sets to blow
And the family car refuses to start.
Make sure Father is seen... to have eaten his beans
As you may need to ignite one of his farts.
The End
*Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's your Uncle.
Categories:
in a pickle, christmas, funny, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Trump In A Pickle
Someone ran over Trump's bicycle
Chose another he was in a pickle
And with women wherever he went
Had failed to obtain their consent
All he did was their toes tickle.
Jim Horn
Categories:
in a pickle, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
War ain’t a kosher thing
The killing of innocent human beings
was never FDA approved
(From Da Almighty)
Ebenezer fiscals’ hands be closed tighty
to the citizen poor
But they openly solicit those laborers’ loyalty,
before sending them off to war
Dem silver-loving Scrooges
were publican greedy Re-schooled
Roman togas playing hooky pocket pool
Coin-operated Caesar stooges
are nod-and-wink
leveraging voter ears to be ballot fooled
Patriotic cash registers cha-ching jingling,
be heavy gold chains saber rattling
around their Faustian necks
For covetous J.I. chicken scratch eyes
love taking thirty more pecks
Warlords of the widow doorbell rings,
send their grave messengers
with the Silver Star death notice:
Crimson ink printed on
official government green leaves
Shallow-breathing, solemn feudal shoguns
sweetly give the veiled bereaved
a sepulchre stipend of le papier viol worms
Sour tastings ... dog tags confirmed
Napalm tear stings,
paid valor that was battlefield earned
Jarheads in a pickle —
power-mad orders gotta be followed
It’s treasonous to question
any chain-of-command authority
Shed the innocent blood,
then spill the guts
in hollow bullet grunt cries
for atonement
While the rich instigators of destruction,
never repent for owning it
Categories:
in a pickle, soldier, truth, violence, war,
Form:
Narrative
Here we sit all cold and wet, please do not start to fret. Let me snuggle up to you, I promise not to chew. I think these new glass jars, really came in a box from mars. Some say this stinky pickle juice, tastes like it came from a big moose. I don't care if you're sweet or dill, you will always be my thrill. We both may be green, so we can't help our jeans. I will love you until the end, you will always be my best friend. Guess we can't get out of this pickle we are in, so let's just say amen.
(Two talking pickles stuck in a jar.)
Written Date: 2/16/2020
3 Place STRAND CHOICE Z, any form, any theme Contest Judged:4/4/2020 sponsored by: Brian Strand
Categories:
in a pickle, best friend, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
My wife is even worse than Aunt Bee when she makes pickles.
She gave some to some celebrities and that's what killed Don Rickles.
When people eat her pickles, they turn green and puke.
Then they want to fight, they tell me to put up my dukes.
My wife sells her pickles at our convenience store.
When people eat them, they don't shop there anymore.
People criticize her pickles and she thinks they're being mean.
But just like Aunt Bee's pickles, they taste just like kerosene.
If you're smart, you'll take some sage advice from me.
Stay away from her pickles if you want to stay healthy.
Categories:
in a pickle, food, funny, humor, sick,
Form:
Rhyme
This is a pickle so I'll bear-and-grin it
It's my very own pickle got me IN it
It was always sweet with pickle power
But all these wrappings make it sour
Perhaps you'll get the urge to peel it
For dressed like this I'll never feel it
Despite your valiant efforts twerkin'
I'll still be left with a gimpy Gherkin
Another tumble upon your hassock
Is a fruitless fruit not worth a Vlasic
For a pickle in a poncho is under par
And it's far better off in a canning jar
Cuz ...
It's not the pick of pickle, it's in how you aptly pack it
But I can't pack my pickle ... in a damned latex jacket.
~ 7th Place ~ in the "Pickle" Poetry Contest, Nina Parmenter, Judge & Sponsor.
Categories:
in a pickle, fun, humorous, passion, word
Form:
Rhyme
Ended Up in a Pickle
You probably ended up in a pickle
Received no things from theory called trickle
And felt down after reading latest pole
Gave away heart and sold your soul.
Some also heard what I often mention
Trump in ranks causes much dissension
Created chaos and also a lot of fear
Wish he left us and is no longer here.
At convention last night yelled out loud
Most important thing is being proud
Of who we are and no one will abuse
And never mishandle or else misuse.
America is beautiful in all that I see
Looks so lovely here in land of the free
And Hillary truly has proven potential
To guide and lead us and be presidential.
Great guardian angel to us God has sent
And now know what he always meant
Be careful what you do or say in a mike
Someone was listening who is a little tyke.
James Serious Mysterious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
Categories:
in a pickle, allegory, analogy, appreciation, together,
Form:
Couplet
being in a May-December relationship
could test the boundaries of patience
like the football socks under a teenager’s bed
it does not age well
these relationships have unique challenges
the rehashed stories of ‘the good old days’
smell of figments of their imagination
as it contradicts with history lessons taught
they harp on about ‘songs with words’
ones people could dance to
with their cheesy renditions of songs
accompanying conga lines of yesteryear
unlike today’s noisy club music
and the ability to twerk
will score you a Grammy Award
the mobility challenged can’t compete
they’ve bequeathed us an unhabitable world
where we all are now in a pickle
forming conga lines at border posts
as we try to dance out of harm’s way
Categories:
in a pickle, analogy, satire,
Form:
Free verse
In a pickle am I. All is green.
It's like some kind of plant quarantine!
Yes, I feel like I’m hidden from view
and without a clue what I should do!
What a pickle I’m IN. It’s severe.
How the heck did I ever get here?
It’s not comfy to be in this pickle.
And now am I feeling a prickle?
I much would prefer to be tickled
than vinegar-smothered – so PICKLED.
Like a gherkin, it’s not even sweet
and a pickle I never would eat!
This is nasty – like some sour pill.
Oh, it’s bad. It’s a really BIG dill!
Feb. 20, 2020 for Nina Parmenter's Pickle Poetry Contest
Categories:
in a pickle, humor,
Form:
Couplet
Your vehicle's surely in a pickle
Because you, its owner, are so fickle
You claim depreciation
Never appreciation
You don't think your car's worth a plugged nickel
Categories:
in a pickle, car, money,
Form:
Limerick