Dad Humorous Poems

Easter as interpreted by one...

rebated, rebelled, rebirthed, rebooted, 
and rebuked courtesy 
one ill shod Unitarian atheist,
who means NOT to affect
any sacrilegious fallout
nor offend devoutly religious...

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A wise poet said:
“You are captain of your own ship!”
My employer said: “Not here, Buddy!”
My wife said, “Yes dear, after you take
out the garbage and...

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Dad went to work on an egg each day 
Til one day the egg cracked on the way
Pants covered in yolk
It was not a joke
That...

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As a kid I had three bunnies,
they were free I paid no moneys.
It was Easter time,
I had won them and they were all mine.
I had...

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I was only four, 
when Blackie my dog died. 
My dad ran my best friend over, 
yes it was a horrible accident. 

 
I was...

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They met each other in the circus, their son told me.
I was watching them balance each other on one lone knee.
They were fascinating, I had...

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January 13th 2024 - Happy Lxv-th birthday Matthew Scott Harris

date of conception:?  ~ Late March – mid April 1958.
date of parturition: January xiii, mcmlix.
date...

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A woman I had never met attended a meeting at work.
Someone asked "how are you?"
She gave us the rundown which lasted eight minutes.
“after my dad...

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Redneck dad was determined to not like his daughter’s beau.
He was from the other side of the bush, the money side.
His parents were probably stuck...

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My family is all mucked up she tells her date.
We have multiple diagnoses.
My dad is mentally deranged, a psychopath.
He has probably killed people.

My mom is...

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I can still remember visiting a small musical town,  
a young boy holding his hat and singing his heart out for money.  
His...

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Fretfully aching to feel fit as a fiddle

After experiencing a severe,
albeit violent near lethal bout
of irritable bowel syndrome
(yesterday night August 30th, 2023)
triggered courtesy dulcolax caplets...

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"Got your fluff again"
(for purpose of this poem
pronounce last word uh gain).

The missus uttered
aforementioned phrase
as she pulled a clump of my hair
from out the clogged...

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It was summer time, a time for planting and reaping 
and when it came to my dad well he could make that garden sing 
He...

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"All a man really wants, is a girl who looks good in a bikini."
- Jack Freestone

More skin makes my heart pound,    ...

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