A new day began, I sprained my right hand!
Then my furnace decided to "give up the ghost"
Neighbor brought friend who would understand;
soon, room became as warm as toast.
then it stopped dead--all was lost
my muse and I were doomed to frost.
Two electric, space heaters running twenty-four/seven!
It was twenty at night--temp's winter hat doff.
My electric bill was reaching toward the heavens
My muse preferred to scoff
while my toes were freezing off!
Probably Monday, a new one he could install.
It would cost one THOUSAND--I needed some air!
Opened my door, found my son standing tall!
A guy with tech background, drove here to share.
I needed a hero, and he was there!
My muse and I needn't despair.
Aren't sons and daughters a wonderful plan!
They will help with gusto and style.
And hero neighbors lending their helping hand!
Faulty solder fixed; the heat will soon beguile.
My hand needs a brace for a while;
and my muse? I saw a tiny smile.
our room heater now
keeps me warmth on winter nights
after my wife leaves
but I know she needs it more
with her at underground grave
Usually have to catch my breath
When admiring a gorgeous young creature
Basically start panting
Love songs I'm chanting
Except for too much heat from my tiny heater
In life you learn the true valuables,
Hot water is gold when the heater goes,
All my cash I'd give out
To have steam from the spout
Taking a literal cold shower blows!
4/22/18
My faucets run cold, what IS this about?
My hot-water-heater-tank pilot light's out!
Press down that red button and click 'til I pout
Then spew out a string (my religion in doubt)
My stove-top still lights, I can still take a bath!
Boil three piping pots full (I HOPE that will pass)
Teeter and totter like I'm walkin' through glass----
The stopper ain't stoppin', you STUPID dumb-ass!!
Know how to turn it on
You
Love
Lord
(This is a fictional poem)
I was naked and I bumped into my heater.
It put a second degree burn on my peter.
I couldn't have sex for over a month so my wife walked out the door.
When I peed, it hurt like hell because my wiener was so sore.