Guzzled Poems | Examples

MISS PIGGY

Miss piglet is at it again,
her blonde wigs, here we go,
her jealousy it always shows.

Her clothes are tight,
her lashes are glued, 
she loves to fight and throwing her shoes.

Her claim to fame was loving a frog,
he thought she was crazy,
and away he dodged.

She loved her bon, bons
she guzzled her liquor,
her piggy temper flowed even quicker.

Her oinks and squeals,
her high heels,
her red lips and long piggy tail.

She always blamed him, 
he was always wrong,
I somehow felt sorry for that poor little frog.

 "ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, and an oink or two"

Indelible

INDELIBLE
They waft across the ocean top as loose and separate notions leaving naught but hollow caverns where my intellect once dwelled. 
I set them free with Spring's crisp breeze the day I guzzled potion 
Now they meld into the casserole and join waves as they swell. 
You hand picked Mother Nature's best for which I'm honoured, touched and blessed. You ground these down into a pulp. Mixed in some juice. Told me to gulp. 
My faith in you spans far beyond words. 
You have my back. I have been heard.
The demons and that thick dark muck flung from my mind. 
My soul now finds the peace I've longed for night and day.
Five decades now on knees I prayed.
Today my prayers, hopes, dreams, desires create a self I can admire. 
Your essence most remarkable awoke in me an indelible respect for who I have become.
A pride in battles fought and won that never stole the breath of day for your words, etched, remain in play.

Charlie the Cowboy - ITQ

Charlie the cowboy got a fright,
when aliens started a fight. 
He prepared to save the town's plight,
before the day turned into night.

Guns by his side, rode into town,
ready to battle till sundown.
Saw the sheriff dressed as a clown
and his deputy in a gown!

In shock, asked "what's going on here?"
"Wave the white flag and bring some cheer,
because we've drank far too much beer."
Adding, "we'll get drunk without fear!"

The 'E.T's seemed a bit puzzled,
but drank till the wine was guzzled!

Road-Side Test

There was once an old boozer named Dale

   Who guzzled copious pints of ale

      Although he tried his best

         He flunked the road-side test

            And was remanded sans bail to jail

Halway Between a Half and Quarter To Five

Gunga Din can have his gin…
Old King Tut his beer, but
I’ll rely on the sparkling wine.
Just a bit before dinner, imbibe…
just enough to create a sigh…
a cabernet sip for the heart…
My purple-tinted glass is high;
I fill it nowhere near the brim -
halfway between a half
and quarter to five.
I can do without a glass,
but what kind of class
to drink straight from the bottle…
Dear Dad, on my wedding day,
did just that thing…do you think
he brought his game, when
he guzzled half the bottle
as the champagne flowed
like the Trevi Fountain. My spouse
stole my papa’s heart…not good enough
for his daughter…too soon.
So we drink to forget
or we forget to drink.
We’ve all become forgetful,
forgiving the unforgivable,
having relationships with frenemies.
Do I sound like I’ve been drinking.
I’m not…just poetically speaking
I’m drunk with words, with laughter,
with memories, with excitement,
with friends (that last, even through
this supercalifragilisticexpialidocious* sup)

5/25/2025

*name of song in original Mary Poppins movie

Shallow Breathing

Hiccups of music,
over and over again;
It's hard to swallow
a little more of the same;
Oxygen's needed to think;

A sound to expand
every thought from deep within;
You just hold your breath
until you're a shade of blue
dying to hear something real;

Fresh water guzzled 
while your lungs can't take in air;
Drown deep and exhale;
In your ear a clean rhythm,
you wade past shallow breathing.

Motorboat Maestro

When Johnny guzzled three ice-cold beers
   There dawned on him a feeling of fear
     He fled, but he couldn't hide
     Crossed a river a mile wide
   Burned out his motor ~ all in first gear

Greedy To the Core

Here lie the bones of our dear poodle ~
He guzzled too much apple strudel!

25.04.2022

A Brian Strand Standard Choice Poetry Contest
sponsor -Brian Strand

Hiatus

I had a dream to dissolve my body
Into harmony and song. 
Not to be appraised course or consequence,
But the ecstasy for which I long.

I’d seen sparks pique, however, now they taunt
Ere each breath, each glare guts me.
I’ve been left to wonder, will passion pass,
Or will destiny cage the free?

Physical facades that guzzled my breath— 
I loathed am’rous transactions—
Abandoned me gasping, grasping for air.
Throttled, I lay in satisfaction.
 
For today I gazed on as swarms of flies 
Amassed stale, dead to the floor
Induced, I grin, inhale seriatim
Plaguing every lung, every pore.

For salt and terror could never hatch wood,
And doors are never undone.
Time festered and birthed a derisive spring
Which befell the immolated sun.

A Wayward Lad

A wayward lad, Jed's fate to be
Spots trouble with cold-blooded eye
For right from wrong he does not see
It's funny you should ask me why...

Jed's parents of a pedigree
They bought their son the finest things
Two doctors of neurology
A nanny hired, their jobs had wings

So at age eight, he hit a friend
He used cuss words ere he was nine
Jed stole a bike when he was ten
By then he smoked, and guzzled wine

No mystery, this Jed to me
When Mom and Dad, he'd never see



        ~ Iambic Tetrameter ~

Mcgee In Pieces

McGee sat in the corner of the local pub
With a puzzle laid out on a table
He had worked on it, fitting the pieces 
When he had time and was able

Tonight was the night and it happened like this
That McGee was to realize his goal
He stood up and cheered so all there could hear
As he pushed the last piece in the hole

"I've done it" He said, and lifted his glass
To guzzled the rest of his beer
And paused for a sec, to challenge the mob
To attempt what he had accomplished right there!

Silents ensued for a moment or two
'Till an Englishman said in a heat 
"It looks Like a hundred pieces or so, 
How long did it take to complete" 

"Two month ten days" McGee proudly boasted
The man spied the puzzle and said
"It should have only taken a week"
Then sat down shaking his head

"Two months ten days" Repeated McGee
As if he had won the World Cup
Then held up the box read what it said
"Right here it says 2yrs and up"!

Hard Drinkin' Sam

There once was a man called ''Hard Drinkin' Sam"
Guzzled six-packs with a flick of his hand --
    He drank so much liquor too 
   That when he went to the loo -- 
Sam had a tap coming out of each end

The Candy Thief

Now Bobby, don't try to look coy.
You mischievous naughty young boy!
You've guzzled my sweets
From 'tricking or treats'
I've seen through your devious ploy.

Oh Bobby, say have you no pride?
You've acted so sneaky and snide.
Your ankle-length socks,
You sneaky young fox
Are stuffed with marshmallows inside!

Don't flutter those big bambi eyes
Or fabricate more porky pies.
You're caught in a fix
Hand over my Twix
I'm bigger than you, so be wise!

20.10.19


If I Were Your Brother Poetry Contest : sponsored by Bobby May

Its Never To Early

Snow has captured the ground not a blade of grass found
Glittering lights reflecting from the moonlight
So quiet this moonlit night
Sparkling small lights jumping from the wood

Like fireplace fireworks would
The wind and the fire hollowing through the chimney
With sparks floating to the sky disappearing
Hot Chocolate with whip cream topping

Popcorn ready to be hung homemade cookies in the oven
Presents to be wrapped children in bed excitement spreading
With lights a glow blinking in tune to each Christmas song 
A new bike and slippers wrapping him his new fishing pole

The cookies are done placed on a plate a tall cold glass of milk
Carols being sung with bells ringing what Christmas fun
Blessings given Turkey has been eaten eggnog guzzled down
Watching children slaying down the mountain 

What more could be asked for
This 25th Day
Christmas Day

Geno's Roaches

On youth's restless green puff
I rode a greyhound bus southbound.
Everything I owned stuffed into one duffel bag.
Forty eight hours on highway x.

It was getting dark so I settled for the first dive I could find.
One room with peeling pink walls
a large painting of a red heart against black
somebody pretending to be Peter Max.

The next night-I popped into "Geno's bar", to watch a football game.
There was a handful of locals-nobody spoke.
I could see cock roaches racing over the hotdogs.
I was young and beyond hungry but settled for the vending machine.
As Geno would reach for a hotdog, the roaches would scurry off.
By the time the dogs reached the counter they were hot, glistening
and roach free. 
Old Geno just smiled as he handed them their roach dogs.  
Then quickly took their money.
It was our dirty little secret, after all I was the new guy and didn't want to cause a stir and bug bomb his patrons.
Geno handed me a free beer just before halftime,
I guzzled it down and left him to his roaches soon after.

• Short Guzzled Poems
• Famous Guzzled Poems
• Best Guzzled Poems
• Read Guzzled Poems
• Long Guzzled Poems
• Guzzled Quotes