getting your dog weighed and groomed is not enough
now we are brushing their teeth and taking them to a manicurist.
well, some of us are.
the ones who have way too much money
and friends to impress
there are now dog designers.
they charge six to ten times more than a groomer
but you get a gorgeous designer dog out of the deal.
I take out a loan, so my Woofie can come home in style.
the neighbors inquire as to the cost.
no one is impressed
and I owe the bank fifteen hundred dollars.
Satsuma Tumour
Sense of Humour?
That Groomer Rumour
Cometh the Hour
Cometh the TAN!
People Power Glower should Flower
Grassy brassy knolls
But proles at the polls
Sold their Souls
To joust like Faust
Ignore Marcel Proust
Cower before the Ivory Tower
Odd bod elite’s law
Tweets of Sod and God
No Enlightening
Repeats the prism
Or algorithm beats
Every criticism schism
“Ism”..a frightening..lightning rod
Pot..black..kettle knack
Debauched cheats pedal to the metal
Out of whack flak attack
Unsettle our mettle
Plot to settle that score
Scorched and torched serfs
Any petal in fine fettle
& the earth's core
Monica-esque Laura Loomer
This wing nut is Trump’s new roomer
What does he exchange
With this kook so strange?
On his plane is she his groomer?
I've raised my dog from a pup,
But now he looks so strange.
He'll never be the same,
Ever since he got the mange.
I took him to the vet,
To see what he could do.
He prescribed him some pills,
And medicated shampoo.
But that didn't do the trick,
So took him to the groomer.
She shaved off all his hair,
And found he had a tumor.
Back to the vet I went,
To plead for my poor dogs life.
Scheduled him for surgery,
To be put under the knife.
Thank God the doctor saved him,
But had to remove his leg.
So on top of being bald,
Now a tripod with a peg.
Buy on rumor, sell on the news
Pedo arrested, more children used
He stood on his stoop and
Proclaimed America's hatred of
Men. Allowing people external
From relationships to be able
to provide a script that creates
the grooming of people. By creating
the condition speak against the
Welfare of all. Making it illegal
to use people to the dissactioning
Of people. Facts to provide data
that increase the risk by creating
Circumstances and issues that
creates the character and provides
the script to reunionize torn relationships
By making "a badguy" from the deceived
Conditions to create the character of
a isolationist. Where conditions of à groomer
due to the women's current position.
Because my former relationship with the children's
father permits me to create a script of a person
She wishes to reunite with her former.
Potential Limericks and poems to leek.
Planned, expand, fanned.
Manned, banned, canned.
Demand, sand, hand.
Tanned, land, grand.
Abide, relied, dyed (died).
Sighed, denied, cried.
Bagel, finagle, label.
Humming, coming, summing.
Alarming, harming, charming.
Humor, rumor, tumor.
Great Groomer, early bloomer, baby boomer.
Wand, fond, dawned.
Expound, bond, abscond.
Wait, gate, differentiate, contemplate.
Educate, satiate, consummate.
Wait, hesitate, sedate.
Jim Horn
Have you ever seen a tear in a dogs eye
afraid to wag his tail hoping you have a good side
it's tail bent low and tucked to their underside
the hurt in their eyes as they try to confide
A cat or a kitten who has been beaten
will take years to trust it's soul so weaken
it will stay hidden in the blackest of shadows
afraid to eat it's life a sad ghetto
The abuse they have endured is beyond this world
yet they will still try to love you wanting praise not scorn
even when their little bodies have been broken and torn
on the streets they wonder seeking only warmth
Get up close and look into their eyes
you will see the tears that do not slide
but a broken heart from inside that cries
we gave them a name so please be humane
Please take care of me
Even if I don't understand
Touch me with a gentle hand
T Reams 8/16/15 copyright
Dedicated to the best groomer in the world who has a heart of gold for all her furry
friends- Dede
To all you great dog owners out there,
here's a shout out from a groomer,
who sincerely cares,
keep your dog's grooming routne,
to insure that their skin and coat are prestine,
itchies, rashes and hotspots,
not only cause your dog pain,
but the constant scratching and licking,
are likely to drive you both insane,
dental hygene's important as well,
brushing teeth and gums, so breath smells swell,
a neatly trimmed coat,and a fresh clean dog smile,
will keep allour pup's,
in caninedippity style.
To all you great dog owners out there,
here's a shout out from a groomer,
who sincerely cares,
keep your dog's grooming routne,
to insure that their skin and coat are prestine,
itchies, rashes and hotspots,
not only cause your dog pain,
but the constant scratching and licking,
are likely to drive you both insane,
dental hygene's important as well,
brushing teeth and gums, so breath smells swell,
a neatly trimmed coat,and a fresh clean dog smile,
will keep allour pup's,
in caninedippity style.
When your dog or cat get dirty,
don't get mad, or go brain swirley,
bring them to your favorite groomer,
not later, I'ts better sooner,
they'll know just what to do,
so you don't have to fret,
It's a hard and detailed process,
for the groomer, and the pet,
because,
a cat would rather chase a rat,
or wear a hat,
then ever have a bath,
rat-a-tat-tat,
fluff and buff,
snip and clip,
till all just looks prestine,
when all is said and done,
they're looking fresh-n-clean,
when pick up time arrives,
and your dog or cat come out,
quite distinguishedly,
dematted com-ple-tley,
your groomer works so very hard,
please tip accordingly.
When your dog or cat get dirty,
don't get mad, or go brain swirley,
bring them to your favorite groomer,
not later, I'ts better sooner,
they'll know just what to do,
so you don't have to fret,
It's a hard and detailed process,
for the groomer, and the pet,
because,
a cat would rather chase a rat,
or wear a hat,
then ever have a bath,
rat-a-tat-tat,
fluff and buff,
snip and clip,
till all just looks prestine,
when all is said and done,
they're looking fresh-n-clean,
when pick up time arrives,
and your dog or cat come out,
quite distinguishedly,
dematted com-ple-tley,
your groomer works so very hard,
please tip accordingly.
I chose a career in grooming, of course,
and went at it with total force,
the days are long, and stressfull, of course,
but a career without passion, to me,
would be much worse,
As I look into this senior dogs eyes,
I see nobility,
and that she's wise,
comfortable in her fur and skin,
and the world in which she lives,
Golden Retriever, is her breed,
she's a beauty, yes indeed,
Rosie on my grooming table,
her age is ten,
yet she's very able,
I'm a groomer trying for perfection,
blow drying her golden red fur,
section by section,
Rosie makes a leap of action,
off the grooming table,
she shoots me up a look,
of total satisfaction,
for me, this makes my days worth while,
to see her inner canine smile.
Crisp night swirls leaves thru the air, the message's in the wind.
Something weird has happened today, the wolfman's in a spin.
He stopped by the vet who washed and detangled all his hair
Cut and snipped his ragged nails - not much, while he was there.
As he skated around the corner to pick up a new dog chain
He stopped by the groomer, who cleaned and polished his fangs.
Tonight he's meeting someone special what else could he think of-
Besides, the leaves had carried it, the Wolfman had fallen in love.
A ghost at the counter spooked, “You’ve been weird since noon”
Wolfman said nothing simply stared at time in the moon.
In a huff he said “On this special day I simply cannot be late-
Meeting someone at midnight- by the cemetery gate”.
Then he remembered he must stop- pick up fresh flowers-
A new resident's in the grave yard, only been there a few hours.
Eagerly he reached the cemetery, inhaled the smokey breeze-
Movements of the night –the swaying of the leafless trees.
The bats began serenading - with the owls from the sky right above
Again the leaves were right- the wolfman has fallen in love.
Valerie Sherman
I'm off to the puppy salon,
to get pampered and spoiled today,
all my pup smell will be gone,
my mom, says she likes it better that way,
they will fluff and dematt,
not sure I'll love that,
but then I'll be loving,
that warm bubble bath,
my groomer will trim me all up,
in a perfect lil pup cut,
she'll trim my nails, and my feet,
so I don't slide away on the floor,
I'll get a mist of a scent that's so sweet,
a scent called pup-o-dejore,
I'll thank my mom, for a wonderful day,
I'll try, but I don't think that I'll stay this way,
but it was great,
so I'll go back,
and my new groomer will keep me,, on the right track.
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