I
Had long
Lost my wings
And abandoned
The heavens above,
Living within the earth
To be tread upon until
My bones, my eyes, my heart, wore down -
Forgotten amongst the soil once more.
My discontentment drowns within the mud
And leaves only a gouging longing.
Tell me a story where I can
Open my dirtied wings wide
And take that final leap;
There's no need for graves
Or tombstones when
I already
Dug the
Hole.
Geminis cannot be squelched
Without squirming and kicking
Biting, scratching, screaming and stabbing
Gouging, pinching, hitting, and slicing
Even psychopaths and sociopaths leave us alone
Usually agreeing other targets go more easily.
Gemini is an air sign, we get along well with Aquarians and Leos
Best to marry Libras if we can find one available
But they marry early, so hurry.
Gemini, flighty, funny, fleeting
Moving, malleable, merry-maker mercurial mind
Dynamic, energetic, a shapeshifter, a fairy, a changeling
Gemini, constantly seeking, learning the world
Asking questions, figuring out better ways,
Clairvoyant, clairsentience, clairaudient
Gemini, party animal, bringing joy and enthusiasm
New horizons, fresh start, rejuvenation
Wants her own way, can be diabolical if double-crossed
Gemini, fragile, sensitive, easily hurt
Fairy-like, imagination on ready alert always.
Sensitive idealist, actress, teacher persuader
I'm beating my heart against a barbed wire fence.
Pain from all directions.
I don't know what to do..
It's killing me.
I just want this pain to stop,
It's ripping me up inside.
Tearing, gouging, blood letting.
It's killing me.
My lungs are filling with blood,
I can't breathe.
My heart still beats,
But it's losing the fight.
Make it stop!
I don't want to feel any more,
It's killing me.
Little insects burrowing into my skull
A burning under my skin
An insatiable itch i cant scratch
So all i do is tear my skin apart
My skin is no longer mine
Like needles
Repeatedly gouging into my palms to remind me of my desperation
And the only thing that can calm it is gone
Its gone and I’m alone in the dark
Left to embark on this journey alone
Anxiety
I squeeze every muscle in my body
In hope
But it wont
push out any hurt
It stays
It’s the only thing that really ever means forever.
Anxiety
Little insects burrowing into my skull
A burning under my skin
An insatiable itch i cant scratch
So all i do is tear my skin apart
My skin is no longer mine
Like needles
Repeatedly gouging into my palms to remind me of my desperation
And the only thing that can calm it is gone
Its gone and I’m alone in the dark
Left to embark on this journey alone
Anxiety
I squeeze every muscle in my body
In hope
But it wont
push out any hurt
It stays
It’s the only thing that really ever means forever.
When I was a child, outside of Christmas,
Halloween was my favorite time of year.
I loved crafting homemade costumes from old rags:
to wear trick-or-treating in the neighborhood.
And yet, I got the most fun from carving
the scariest pumpkin my mind could conceive.
It was the only time I was allowed to wield a knife,
and I reveled in it: to me, carving pumpkins was an art.
Dad would drive me to a pumpkin patch,
where I'd pick out the perfect pumpkin:
worthy of my artistic talents.
And when I brought it home,
I'd start by slicing the top off my pumpkin
to gain access to its skull.
And with my hands, I'd scoop out its brains,
which felt mushy, gooey, slimy, and gross,
as I removed them: to sculpt my Jack-o'-lantern.
Then, with an eye for the hideous, I'd prepare to carve.
Creating grotesque features: I'd start by gouging out its eyes,
a deformed nose, and a toothy, grimacing smile.
When finished, I'd proudly present my monstrosity to Mom;
who'd light a candle and place it inside my gargoyle
then set it out on our stoop;
to guard against any evil demons
that may be skulking about: on this All Hallows' Eve.
New York state is paying 20 cents for gloves that normally cost less than five cents, $7.50 for masks that normally go for 50 cents, $2,795 for infusion pumps that normally cost half that, $248,841 for a portable X-ray machine that typically sells for $30,000 to $80,000.
Who's pocketing all this? An array of producers, importers, wholesalers and speculators. State laws against price gouging usually don't apply to government purchases.
Some of it may be finding its way into this fall's election campaigns. The veteran Republican fundraiser Mike Gula and Republican political operative John Thomas just started a company selling coronavirus testing kits, personal protective equipment and other "hard to find medical supplies to beat the outbreak". They call themselves "the largest global network of Covid-19 medical suppliers".
Asked how he'd found such equipment, Gula explained: "I have relationships with a lot of people."
Thomas added: "In politics - especially if you're at a high enough level - you are one phone call away from anybody in the world."
Well, darn--I wish bushes grew faster.
That might help me avoid a disaster.
What is a buzz-maestro supposed to do
when a Hummer takes nectar from you?
I've buzzed by all my usual haunts.
They're out of stock--what about MY wants?
When nectar comes in, price is sky-high.
(I think it's price gouging, between you and I.)
What can a bee drink and hold his head high?
Something else I'm now bein' forced to try.
Say--here's a glass prettied up like snow.
I'm calling Buzz and Sting--we'll give it a go.
* * *
Now Buzz is dive-bombin' and then crashin'.
He's pretty funny but could get a thrashin'.
Sting's gone crazy, flies around upside down.
That witch's brew made them come unwound.
We're flying off before it becomes night.
Man, if they aren't a pitiful sight!
Guess I'd better start actin' all grown.
Maybe even talk that Hummer into a loan!
May 25, 2022
for Bee Creative Poetry Contest
by Matt Caliri
Water cascades down the falls
untethered from protocols.
And gouging out river beds
deposits silt as it spreads.
The sky smiles with a rainbow
and in the mist far below,
water cascades down the falls.
(Elemental)
7/09/2021
twin city-house shakes
gouging to prepare for new road
shovel lifts the earth -
in a row with their mother
ducklings waddle past window
Gemini's ideas cannot be squelched.
They are not easily bruised or injured.
Even if you put a dent in them, they do not go quietly
There is squirming, kicking
Biting, scratching, screaming, stabbing
Gouging, pinching, hitting, and slicing
Even psychopaths and sociopaths
eventually learn to leave Gemini's ideas alone
Usually agreeing it is easier to go after another birth sign's ideas.
Light bursts
Ignite in the sky
Gouging cracks and
Holes through
The darkness
Now a nagging goading
In my ear
Noom-Kaboom
Titanic sky plates grind
Ten fingers
left and right palm pig squeezing a thief’s prayer merry
One finger
covetously dipped in the pie hole green apple gouging
Nine fingers
raven cloaked in vulture reaper robes condor circling
Two fingers
giving the universal sign of double cross peace
Eight fingers
talking black market side deal shogun spidery
Three fingers
got a pirate hook grip anchored in the purse sea
Seven fingers
be flagpole nose lying king Nero pose wannabes
Four fingers
preying mantis quotes holding the predator smile idoly
Six fingers
covered in silver serpentine tongue saliva oozing sticky
Five fingers
richly shaking down poor nations through debt slavery
Zero thumbs up
sell those Judas war coin lovers on the submarine ferry
On the surface everything is fine
But if you look behind my eyes
Everything is slowly crumbling
As the panic takes root
Thoughts come in disjointed fragments
And everything should make sense
But everything is a puzzle piece
That no longer fits into place
Common sense was abandoned
Logic was thrown out the window
And all that's left is irrationality
And the idea everything is wrong
The problem was a scratch on the wall
That I made worse by gouging with a nail
Heartbeat frantic, thoughts frenetic
Eyes wide, sweat rolling
Seconds pass like minutes
Words refuse to process properly
Everything seems so dark
Alongside a crushing weight
But on the surface everything is fine
But if you look behind my eyes
Everything has crumbled
And my mind is blank
I forged my dreams in the mire of regret
The past had not passed me for long
The angel of Death awaits my plea of ignorance
While the sands of time bury my aspiration
I acknowledge my mistakes
Yet, do not learn from them--
Walking backward with Epimetheus off the cliff
My disdain surmounts my discerning heart's integrity
Between me, myself, and I
We produce the same Lie
Gouging out my eyes to spite my mind
I am solely affixed to its lack of fervor
My descent into dissent imprisons me
This island is no longer a paradise
I cannot run from my own mind
But, I can turn down the volume, just for tonight...
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