I was sitting on the corner, stoned,
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned,
How could this be, she rests in peace,
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said,
"I know you think that I am dead,"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned,
"Or- could it be that you're just- 'Stoned.'"
My dear auntie, is that really you?!
Let me stop and try to think this through.
I remember I stoned sober cried –
Your funeral can’t be denied.
Yes, I’m sure of it, there’s no mistake,
Perhaps you're some deep AI fake.
Trying to scam me from my dough --
Say something only we would know.
“Remember that night you had the munchies,
And chowed down on those blue pill crunchies.
Turned out they were late Uncle Fred’s
Stash of blue-chew ED meds.”
[Charles, back to you, if you get the gist
of where to go with this plot twist.
Suggest you keep it apropos.
It’s up to you. Where you will go?]
Submitted July 7, 2026 for The Stoner Collaboration Poetry contest sponsored by Charles Messina
Indulging in a flirting spree
Succubi demons within me!
I self- admire all daylong,
Humbly hum a seductive song,
To me my gorgeous bits belong!
As I gaze on me from above,
I blush with glee at my true love:
My biceps worthy of Greek myth,
My charming smile - the perfect pith,
No one I’d rather coddle with!
I believe beauty lies within!
It’s one-on-one, therefore win win!
I shall confess if you insist -
I’m an intrinsic narcissist,
I bet on me, you get the gist.
As over my visage I drool -
Head over heels! Dead in the pool.
The tiger strikes
Sharp claws ignite
Craves your flesh
Dims your light
He leads you in
The lion’s den
Softly, he purrs
And kneads your skin
So sweet and dear
He draws you near
It’s far too late
Once you see clear
His wicked ways
Now on display
You try to turn
To run away
You unveil his plan
Paw turned to hand
Once raging beast
Now, just a man
Faux armor slips
And facade drips
Bald head, down to
His fingertips
A narcissist
Briefly missed
Clad in stripes
You get the gist
We're going on vacation
Words innocent and pure
Visions of sun and beaches
Are conjured up for sure
The marketers are genius
At portraying family bliss
A carefree family skipping
Through waves not to be missed
But just below the surface
Lurk undertones of woe
The preparations necessary
Belay the surface glow
The focus turns to prepping
The job, the house the yard
The feeding of the pets
The domicile to guard
And then there is the packing
The lists, and lists of lists
And luggage bulging at the seams
I think you get the gist
And finally departure
On crowded roads no less
Who turned off the oven
We fret and try to guess
Perpetual construction
And hours of sitting still
Are we there yet yell the children
It's pure parental hell
So if you didn't need one
When planning this vacay
You certainly do now
I hope it goes your way!
I saw something subtle, in Mr. De Niro
I get the gist Trump, is just not his hero.
He’s not a good fella, and not his godfather;
And was sure the election, would be a big slaughter.
Honking cars and shaking fists.
I can't take much more of this.
I hear it clearly, get the gist,
"Hey A...h...!"
It is stressful and it's gritty.
Life here is not so pretty.
Scraping by in the city
is a hassle.
Ah, in the country, I'd feel the breeze...
A little bird flits down from the trees
He opens his beak as if to sneeze
and... "Hey A...h...!"
Don’t forget
We have a neck
To stick out
From time to time
It’s an asset
Though not high tech
Yet it shows
We have a spine
We have to shout
Get the gist out
As a poet
Words are our way
There’s no doubt
We’ll find the clout
And show it
With what we say
To expose wrongs
Some write apt songs
To keep powers
In check, and
Poets stay strong
Just as long
They’re willing to
Stick out their neck
We started to grow apart long before the current rift
It wasn't personal, but necessary if you read & get the gist
We were closer than a pair of lips long before I met betrayal's kiss
I took it personal & then forgave, I just could no longer take the risk
Like peas in a pod, we grew together & nothing can change that kind of love
Change is good despite appearances not seen by the naked eye
I flew the coup so I could soar & get a view from high above
I'm not better just more evolved, viewing the world through different eyes
I'll admit I'm self-involved, obsessed with being a better me
Our paths are different, so we had to split as we follow 2 different nodes
I planted seeds that needed to grow in order to see the forest for the trees
In spirit we're still together even though we arrived at forks in the roads
It was for the best & I hope you can see I carry no animosity with me
I just took a leap & developed wings, but I needed to jump for me 2 see
I get the GIST OF this EXPERIENCE
Make it known! From my FINGER to
My THONE! Yes! I get it! Life?
I get it. Many times it IS merciless
And unforgiving. And I get it. Keep your
Priorities in check. Do not ever
NEGLECT the introflect. I GET THE GIST
OF THIS EXPERIENCE CALLED LIFE.
That IS the GIST OF THIS!! WAIL UP
WILD OUT!! RAISE UP! MOVE ON!
THAT IS the WAY.
I've plugged it in
And turned it on
Checked the cable
Won't take long
Allowed access
Downloaded files
Installed drivers
Wait quite a while
Clicked the links
Agreed to terms
Ticked the boxes
Start to squirm
Updated versions
Tried other ports
Looked at Google
Had grumpy thoughts
Changed the settings
Tried troubleshoot
Turned it off
Done a reboot
But the printer still won't print.....
Next day, try again
To get the gist
See straight away
The link I missed
Our world has been stuck
in cloudy mind mist.
Einstein mused that
time does not exist.
For made up concepts
it's top of the list.
Fooled by its tick
we all get the gist.
All those lost seconds
now will be missed.
Though good ones and bad
memories persist.
Still millions will watch
each day on their wrist.
Ego won't let go
it's life's epic twist.
Einstein theorized that matter and time were
misconstrued concepts of humans.
74 words (couplet/rhyme/monorhyme) 18 lines
Super California twist
Of lemon in large doses.
Eating great big mounds of it
Can cure your halitosis.
Just don’t mix much gin with it,
Or you can get sclerosis.
Take precautions to avoid,
From one who’s in the know, sis!
Um diddle, diddle diddle, not gonna lie
Um diddle, diddle diddle, not gonna lie
Oh, like a fish to water,
Started drink as just a lad.
Tick the nose and light the eye,
And make the heart feel glad!
But after twenty years or so,
It nearly drove me mad.
Now it’s been sixteen wonder years,
Since then, not one drink had!
Um diddle, diddle diddle, not gonna lie
Um diddle, diddle diddle, not gonna lie
I think that you now get the gist
Of how the story goes.
To end with a redemptive bit
amidst a tale of woe.
They say the pull of booze is strong,
inflicting pain and strife.
It's time you cast your cares on Him,
'cuz He can change a life!
----------
to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
from the Musical "Mary Poppins"
written 03/11/2022
Adolph Hitler was right
handed
wasn't sure about this one
but then its just a play on words
probably using the worlds most evil person
was a bit extreme
but you get the gist
I could tell you my faults
but what would be the fun of that?
So, shall I tell you of my accomplishments?
What if there aren’t any?
What if there are but there are so many
you would believe I was lying?
Would that be bragging?
What if you wanted to get to know me yourself?
Could I wait patiently for you to get the gist of me?
I think I shall give you bits of myself
Tiny bites at a time
until you know my saltiness
And you recognize my sugar
My sugar comes in many forms
One form is genuine
The other form is faux
If you truly know me you will be able to discern them.
On the back of a spirit
We'll rise or fall
Or say damn man
The hell with it all.
I get the gist
And twirl and twist
To soak in the stupid:
A flick of the wrist.
Gov'nor blankets
pomp and photo-op
Or immeasurable vapidity
like defunding cops.
I plaster my fat face
In front of y'all,
and say
Hey man welcome
To the start of the Fall.
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