I hide behind the walls that I built
Made from failure and pride
And sorrow
And guilt
Just leave your name and number
On the back of my wall
And when I climb over
I’ll give ‘ya a call
See now’s not the time
I’m not in the right place
I’m not in my right mind
I can’t find the right face
And the baggage I carry
Won’t get off my back
And the troubles I married
Bring panic attacks
See when you’re losing it all
You shut it all out
You put up a wall
And then break it all down
It hurts when you fall
Life can get too intense
So I might tear down that wall
And maybe put up a fence
~Billy Hitz~
The scene is the breakfast table
Mom and Dad rushing
To get the day underway
There’s a bit of tension in the air
Not everyone’s on page
With the early morning pace
Of the weekday rat race
When out from left field
Is heard clear as
Any three-year old little voice
“Get off my back, woman”
Ouch…
You know
the husband’s
deep in trouble
Published in my 24-page photo/anthology ~RANDOM MUSINGS VOL.2~ 2020
AP: Honorable Mention 2022
Submitted on February 18, 2020 for contest STRAND SELECT T sponsored by BRIAN STRAND - RANKED 3RD
Originally posted on February 8, 2020
I must let go of
the hatred you show
Because you want
nothing but
destruction
Wanting me to
feel like nothing
Who are you to
define who I am
I'm no punching bag
this feels so sad
Get a good grip
show love instead
Be worth something
no losing you head
Doing the things
you'll later regret
Why do you hate me?
What have I done?
To feel no love
inside me, I'm done
I'm running away
from this hell pay
Leave me alone
this hurt you've sewn
Take away this pain
I'm making this plain
Get off my back
quit this attack
You make me bleed
do I need to plead
Get away from me
I need to be free
Lately the devil has me in his despicable sights,
Things go well, then he sends an unpleasant plight.
So I’m doubling my prayers to throw him off track,
And let God be the one to get him off my back.
I reminisce by this railway siding pond,
Musing on rail relics rattling on,
Recalling lives and times bygone,
But memories of their shades linger on,
The lonesome call of distant steam trains,
Eras that may never come our way again,
I see they're gone nowhere in particular,
Replaced by planes and transport vehicular,
I imagine queues on foggy platforms,
Awaiting the misted trains' shadow forms,
Standing by, expecting the status quo,
I blink my eyes, where did they all go?
Looking backwards along yesterday's tracks,
I'm no kid any more, get off my back,
I reflect and reminisce,
Nostalgia is for the past we miss,
I'll reminisce by the railway siding pond,
I recall the times and lives bygone,
As rail relics keep rattling on......
Get off my back!
Don't put those chains on me.
I can't take it no more
The arguing
The fussing
The fighting!
The monkey is on my back!
The boss wants this
The wife wants that
I need peace of mind
Get these chains off of me!
Feels like a vice on my head
Squeezing everything from me
Pulling me this way
Pulling me that way
I don't need this STRESS on me
So GET OFF OF ME!
Wish you'd get off my back
wish you'd cut the reins.
You think you're showing love
but I'm being pulled in every direction
and I'm tired. So tired...
Love isn't enough for you.
You want a souvenir to take home when you get there.
No one wants to just love me, they wanna rip off a piece.
People can't be torn up and passed around.
I'm one piece and I choose where it goes.
You're in deep but it's never enough
so you stare til I acknowledge you.
What do you want?
What do they all want?
I possess nothing
but am possessed by everyone?
I don't think so.
Drop your chains, locks and guilt trips.
Cut your fences and knock down your walls and put down your arms.
You're crowding me.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I’m tired,
tired of all the drama,
tired of relationships
not working.
Tired of carrying other
people’s qualms on my shoulders
Can’t they see?
Don’t they realize?
They are draining my energy?
Can’t they see I’ve shut down?
My body might,
be present but my mind is not,
with a facial expression
that gives nothing away
people just assume
I’m willing and able
to go on, to listen, to take in and to give advice…
That I don’t need a time out
to establish my needs and my desires…
Would that make me selfish?
To want to be by myself
and enjoy being me
without being a friend,
a shoulder to cry on or
the one person that glue mutual
friendships together?
I’m here but I’m not
I’ m listening but I can’t hear
I’m looking at you but I can’t see
I’m tired
drip dried
all of you are draining me.
See this smile?
It isn’t real
It’s your problem
It’s not for me to feel…
Leave me alone
get off my back
stop pestering me
stop this melodrama attack…
*the day I wrote this one, I just had enough of everybody so this is what I came up with, today I can laugh about it , thinking to myself I was so silly that day ;)*
You don't ~Know~ me
So you need to ~Disappear~
You can't ~Control~ me
With your hate or your ~Fear~
You did a good ~Deed~
I'm ~Thankful~ for that
But you're so full of ~Spite~
And I'm ~Sick~ of your crap
You're so very ~Fake~
I can't tell when you're ~True~
Just ~Get Off~ my back
I never ~Signed Up~ for you
You're such a ~Hypocrite~
Stop ~Lying~ to yourself
Haven't you heard of ~Integrity~
At least I'm ~Honest~ with myself
You're ~Nothing~ to me
You're no ~Mother~ of mine
My real mother's ~Dead~
And I don't need you, I'm ~Fine~
my favorite chair
spoke to me one day and said
get off my back please
She reacts to my silence as if it were a burden.
Can't get off my back because my heart won't stop hurting.
She cried for three months.
And finally moved on.
It's been almost a year.
And I'm still holding on.
I question her love daily before i sleep.
And wake up in the morning feeling so weak.
If you knew
What you do
What you
Put me through
Then why’d you do it?
But I tried
Why’d you lie
This is my
Time to shine
So get off my back
Everything’s wrong
And everything’s gone
So please don’t torture me
Everything’s passed
But all too fast
And I missed it all
Now everything’s in the dust
And everything sucks
And you just stand there still
I don’t comprehend
How you can bend
And pretend
It’s the end
Cause I’m breaking
How can you stare
Like you don’t care
Just stand there
I wonder where
Everything went wrong
Everything’s wrong
And everything’s gone
So please don’t torture me
Back off
This is my time to shine
You ruined everything
Everything of mine
And I wish you knew
The meaning of this rhyme
But it’s no use
Because it’s time
For me to move on
From everything
Now everything’s in the dust
And everything sucks
And you just stand there still
Shed a tear
no me not cry
why
does it make you
feel weak inside
I shed a tear
when I feel pain
emotions mixed
its not a game
its just a part
of what makes me me
I shed a tear when
my heart screams
Shed a tear Oh yes I cry
I wont keep it all bottled
up inside
Shed a tear oh yes I do
you should shed a tear or two
release the stress trapped
down in you
So shed a tear to break the stress
Now get off my back and give it a rest