The school bell is ringing but nobody moves yet
Trapped in the hallway between classes and years
My childhood is packed up inside my locker
While high school is waiting past the heavy doors
We split up the cafeteria tables like borders
Choosing our sides by the clothes that we wear
I stand in the middle with my lunch tray shaking
Halfway between who I was and who I will be
My old best friend passes and looks through my shoulder
Like I am a ghost from a grade she forgot
How fast does a memory turn into a stranger
Leaving you lonely in an overcrowded room?
If we spent our whole lives just cutting things smaller
To figure out where we belong in the math
What is left of the person we started out being
And who pays the price for the pieces we lost?
Sheila says life is a joy
she has a plethora of hobbies
surrounded by family and two loving dogs
she cooks and bakes to an imaginary piper
her neighbors congregate at her party house
Janice does not understand Sheila
her life ceased to exist six years ago
when her Roy died
She crawled into the grave with him
life has no meaning for Janice
we do not have to be Sheila or Janice
but we do have to figure out life
until the day we don’t
so, let’s focus on the positive things that happen
we don’t have to ignore the negatives
We have to bury them
deep in the ground
or throw them into the river
or burn them
they do us no good
life is for the living
and dwelling on negatives is not that
so, skip to work and sing a little song
wave to strangers on the highway and wish them well
say your prayers, expressing gratitude for your triumphs
focus on the best parts of you and yours
and you will be surrounded by love and light
and you will show others how to live and find their joy
Many children, likely most,
Don’t have the slightest clue
Of how their grown-up selves will be
Or what they’d like to do.
The childhood years, in school and camp,
Will open many eyes
And steer some in directions
That might startle or surprise.
Yet there are those who, very young,
Can see a waiting path,
Who know exactly what they want
And figure out the math
To get them ready to embark,
With tools that they might need,
In hopes that they will have support
And that they will succeed.
It’s satisfying when I read
Or hear of someone who
Accomplished what, in childhood,
Was the future that he knew.
Seventeen brings a brand-new driver's license, A bigger world, a different step ahead, While fourteen means the start of high school hallways, Unspoken rules, and pats upon the head.
He says the gap between the grade levels Is why he keeps his distance from your side, Yet turned around and chased after your best friend, A logic impossible to make make sense or hide.
She didn't want the spotlight or his favor, The math just doesn't add up like it should. It leaves you stranded in this mixed-up middle, Wishing he’d see you the way you hoped he would.
Now every time he asks if you’re doing okay, It echoes what he did when he liked Val, A strange replay of something in the past.
It makes you feel uneasy, flipped around, Caught in a blur where signals cross and spin. Trying to figure out just where you stand, And where these confusing boundaries begin.
The dance of the two sexes,
Two poles in balance,
Does not take a rocket scientist
To figure out;
Men get the most attractive women
They can afford
While women get the richest men
They can attract…
Does it matter
If they ever really understand each other?
Apparently not.
(9/14/26)
It's already been a month.
I am stuck in one place,
yet they march forward.
They are so content
to keep marching forward.
I can't figure out how
it's only been a month, and
I can't march. Can't speak.
I can't find it in me to move forward.
I can't march. Can't speak.
it's only been a month, and
I can't figure out how.
to keep marching forward.
they are so content
yet they march forward.
I am stuck in one place,
It's already been a month.
That gleam in your stare
conquers other hearts, not mine
that refuses to bend its will and reject
every smile to charm me and start to care:
up to now, I damn myself for the wrong choice,
for that decision not too wise,
because I dedicated everything
and anything to someone else,
assuming you;ve stopped caring, showing
no love, not even a gesture of kindness.
Yeah, the wrong choice
seemed perfectly fine
and the moment...
when we were carried away
by heavy loneliness;
it was both despair and agony
fighting forces stronger than destiny
to figure out what caused us to break free.
spending nights missing a sweet voice
that pushed every shadow away.
Sometimes, we all make the wrong choice...
not hoping for better and nobler things
that aren't burdened with worries;
and regardless of that choice,
it changes lives and sets a price.
We're all related to the stormy firmament
Trying to figure out if it's about to pour down.
Or if the sun's just taking a long break.
It's hard to tell what's real these days.
The clang turns up so deafening you can't
Detect your own breathing and every divided
Wall is screaming a different analysis of the
Truth.
It doesn't matter what lingo you pray in, the
Shade of your skin, or where you call home.
When the ground starts vibrating, we all reach
For the precise same thing.
Something rigid, Something factual. Trouble
Doesn't ask for proof of Identity, A heart
Fragile sounds the same everywhere-
That tranquil, heavy crack that makes you
Sit up at 3:00 am and wonder: Where do we
Go from here?
Up looks like down, right feels like left.
We look at each other directly
Clouded glass, forgetting that covered by it all,
It's just bone, blood, and a soul trying to find
Its way back home.
These are daunting times to discern; the fog is dense, but we don't need a lantern to see the
Whole Alpine just enough light to take the
Very next step in alignment.
On our way to a prison out of state
ConAir, the final phase
I was betrayed and now I've been caught
The Kangaroo Court a massive fraud
I can't remember, am I insane?
My mind is blank cause they emptied my brain
I will return, I will be back
I will get my revenge and I will attack
I don't care much about plans and schemes
Don't give a damn about any righteous dreams
All that I do, I do for myself
I never cared for anyone else
Who on earth do you think that you are
Without me you wouldn't have gotten this far
I've had enough of our private war
Why are we fighting, what is it all for?
To right the wrongs and fight the good fight
Living like you just wouldn't be right
I am a leader, I have the skills
Either you leave or you yield to my will
Our strong bond couldn't keep us apart
I always trusted you right from the start
You've been deceived, they're telling you lies
I'm still the same, I'm on your side
I can't believe you gave yourself away
Although it hurts, I will make you pay
Don't understand, can't figure out why
All I know is you have to die!
You ask for the stars
But I give you the moon
Seemingly that's what you'll choose
Scattered around, Yet still in place
Only I know, you love the chase
But oh my mistake
Quiet you is pretty you
Social you is not you
All I want is to count the blues
if you'll join me, but you wouldn't
Tell me how Oh tell me how
I'd give my all, yet you wanted more
I gave you more but it wasn't enough
Then I realized I wasn't the one
Broken pieces on the ground
Made to look like you
Only I'm able to figure out
Why you do what you do
You could've chose me
But you didn't
Running through the woods
Like you'll miss it
Counting the stones
Like it's given
But you didn't choose me
You didn't
On one shoulder, I literally have a little angel,
less than six inches high.
On the other, I have a little devil -
just like in the cartoons.
The angel is irritating -
sanctimonious,
and tries to make me feel guilty.
The devil is much more fun,
but, sooner or later,
I pay for listening to him.
They constantly bicker,
vying for my attention,
always trying to tell me what to do -
as if I can't figure out what to do myself.
I want to throttle them.
The devil might encourage that.
Instead, today, I sent them packing.
For all I care,
they can fight it out
between themselves
for eternity -
while I
am free.
I am the wind blowing your hair in your face
I am the rock in your shoe
I am the drops of your drink that never enters your mouth
I am the logic you can never figure out
I am the hair strand that always knots - you will eventually pluck me from you hair follicles
I am the irritation on your skin - you will scratch and scratch and I will stay
I am the piece of glass that gets stuck in your foot whenever you don't wear shoes.
I am
I am
I am
I am everything
Yet nothing important
A minor inconvenience
Not help
Just there
I am
Nothing
I want to be
One
I want to be
Whole
I want to be
Someone
I want to be
I am.
The woman pondered
If what shwe has seen
Of the empty raft
Was it really there?
Where did the person go?
As far as she knew
No one was missing
Yet the raft was empty
What happened here?
She has returned back
To the river bank
Trying to figure out
What had happened here
She was looking closer
The raft was empty
No clues were seen there
She went on the land
Searching for clues
She spotted a jacket
The other shoe not found
She spotted a jacket
All found on the ground
There was no shelter
With no campfire
There were many clues
That did not make sense
No one was there to be seen
What happened here?
Clues told her nothing
What happened here?
Where is the missing per4son?
No one reported missing
How did the shoe and jacket
get there?
A mystery unsolved
Today, I need my words to flow
so my emotions have somewhere to go
I am hurting and raw
and need to process what I feel and saw
in the days past, when my family was young
I felt like we were close and strong
but my youngest son left this earth
and it seems he took my sense of worth
I am not sure who I am as a grieving mother
there are days I feel like I will smother
with the amount of emotions and uncertainty I feel
and everything seems to be so unreal
my older son is distant and trying to grieve on his own
I feel like I am searching and unconvering every stone
I wonder if what I search for even exsists
but I will continue to search and resist
when I feel like I want to be in heaven, too
because I know that God's love will continue
as he holds me every day and urges me to stay
and continue to figure out my way
until my work on earth is done
and I can rest and heal in the Son
There are moments in life you never forget, and some you definitely want to forget, forever.
Today was one of those I'll never forget days, but dear lord, I want to forget.
There you were eating your pizza, drinking your beer and faking your face, and whatever those were above your fake heart.
I was shocked at the size of everything. The only thing left to be the same was that look in your eyes, a cold stare, genuine evilness.
My eyes met yours and for a moment I was reminded that people really do wear masks and they create themselves with fake everything.
You didn't see me, but for a fleeting moment when you looked my way, I saw you.
My pizza was great, my salad was tasty. I enjoyed my company and didn't waste another moment trying to figure out who you really were, I already knew.
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