Dimwit Poems | Examples

Dear Death - Mar 5

A dumb deer died in that damn ditch today. 
Daring, no doubt, but didn’t dodge the diesel
Doom dashing down the dune. The dimwit did
Duck, but the damage done was a deadly deal.

Tight Bra Bringing and Started Springing Horn Haiku Sort Of

Trump has been breaking laws
create and cause crime with his claws
prefers premiers and skinny shahs
rile up people with his paws
likes pulling at loose straws
at his hamburger always knaws    
likes women who wear big bras
have heard his oohs and aahs
Trump gives me the blahs
have heard his youthful ye's with horrible hahs
prefers hearing much applause
poor and dimwit crowds Trump draws
putrid picture he draws
sings do ray mes while forgetting his faas
skip so la ti do and away we go
cut great face which was greeted with gauze
found his big mouth in front of jaws
like big bird Trump constantly caws
seen slidding in nude in slick spas
plural of his ta is tas 
would see His lost doll while in shower stall in urban sprawl 
wish Trump would be so kind, get his small hands off of my behind
To see Trump tight bra she was bringing; Out big breasts did start springing

You have to send me some comments, criticism 
and complaining about this collection of lines 
that have been in my Horn Horrible Haiku.
which you may ensue out from a blunt blue.

King of Her Realm

Lori Steindorf Copyright April 28, 2021

You disappear for months on end.
You only want to see me when it's convenient for you.
You say you're busy at work or with your daughter when I try to reach out to you.

Hey, at least that's a response. It can be days, weeks. You get it. Hell, I never know if I will hear from you again. Evolve some please before you consider seeing me.

You call me stubborn when I have autonomy in my life and can't make time. Divine intervention to preserve my heart and mind. I'm understanding now why you have an ex-wife.
Well, this time around it's not me, it's the obnoxious you.

Your dimly lit cave  craves you and your dimwit ways.
Cradle yourself to sleep when you've had a bad day.

Let me make it clear
There's no meeting of the minds here
I think we've both figured that one out
The chemistry was scorching
Without substance
There's nothing to us

Maybe you will or maybe you won't
Ever understand
But your daughter does or soon will
She looks up to you
You're the king of her realm
I hope you teach her not to choose
Cold, unavailable, insensitive men.

An Angry Poet

White is the color of the pristine page
Awaiting words from an angry poet,
Soon defiled by inexplicable rage
Surely intentional s/he did show it,
Living forever words of this dimwit
Making of the page a blackened abyss
Devoid of kindness, enviable bliss,
Expressing instead the venomous ply
Delivered like traitorous Judas's kiss
On internet page that will never die.

written January 14, 2022

My Friend Was Right

For years, I voted just one way
in the national elections.
One friend I knew had this to say:
"Both parties have imperfections.
It won't matter even one whit
to vote one way or another.
Each candidate is a dimwit,"
argued my poetic brother.

"Well, I think that there is a side
much better (for whom I will vote,")
to my poet friend I replied.
I look back at this and take note:
My friend was right; that I now see.
and the party I thought was best
sucks worse now, ironically!
With my friend's wisdom I'm impressed!

Oct. 17, 2021
for Difference In Opinion Poetry Contest of Shreya LN

O'Tooles Apprentice

There was a plumber called Billy O'Toole
Hired a dimwit who turned out quite a fool
Soil pipe he didn't secure
There was a stench of manure
And all the downstairs became a cesspool.

The owner came back and said" whats that smell? "
By his face he was angry you could tell
The dimwit ran for the door 
But then skidded on the floor 
And face down into raw sewage he fell.




Written 28th November 2020 

Make Me Laugh with Some Humor - Any Form - New Poems Poetry Contest. 

Sponsored by Tania Kitchin.

Originals

I don’t know that anything about me
is original – I mean, all of my atoms,
I’ve been told, once belonged to some
dimwit creature (hmm...) roaming the earth 
long before air-conditioners and Mai Tais...

And talk about Sin! – now that’s an Original
I would gladly give my share away in 
a heartbeat; sure as hell, not missing a 
cinder of the concept – though, if not the 
world itself, I have no recollection of a 
bountiful garden...while readily admitting
to having dined and drank with more than 
one size and specie of venomous serpent – 

But of all my Non Originals, the abiding 
presence of love within me is a lineage
I would gladly claim as my own, were I
asked, praying to be absolved of any penance
if untrue. And, if false...then I would claim,
even more vociferously, my uncompromising 
capacity to forgive all, thus hopefully moving 
existing originals into the Lord's Grace of 
Transformative Light.

B C D Poems

beautiful baby
bounced by beaming big brother
brimming blissfulness


cute companion cat
cleverly calculating
comfortableness


dirty dimwit dog
digging deliriously
destroying daisies


July 25, 2020 
for Jenish Somadas'  Let The Pens Flow - Alliteration Poetry Contest
syllables checked by Howmanysyllables.com

Going To Church

I have decided go to church.
A deeply prophetic interior voice 
has declared: 
'enough is enough.'

Since Christians are derided, abused
and killed around the world
without even a headline,
since the intelligentsia and media
jeer at any mention of prayer,
since I am not 'saved' and never shall be,
but since I will always stand for the 
guy with the sweaty shirt collar,
the woman who has faith in her womb,
the thin dog under the fat man’s table,
the individual not group-think,
I have decided to join a church.

I am not going, just joining
no one needs to know
except the Jesus in my heathen heart.
It’s just my little church built for one,
and when some sophomoric dimwit
with a college degree in the humanities
mocks my sacred belief,
I will enlighten him or her
with a curse straight from hell.

The Riddler

What is it you have to answer
 But before you ask someone
 You have to know the answer

People call me  ed, Edward, nygma or prince of puzzle
Conclusively it doesn’t matter 
Cause I can make your mind a dimwit crippler 
So you better call me THE RIDDLER

Riddle me this, riddle me that
Let’s recall who I am and
What am I good at.
I orchestrated every riddle
Make them look like a dancers
So please honey, don’t be hard on yourself.
Because soon you are out of answers.

Expertise in outwitting every living soul
Cryptic clues gonna make you howl
Try and try until you die,
It sounds so childish
As far as you trying to solve my riddles
Then I’m certain that it’ll be your death wish. 

Batman thinks he can bring me down
Clueless fella thinks it’s untroublesome,
But I AM NO CLOWN.
My enigmatic persona make you a psycho
Allow me to tell you two rule for success
One is never reveal everything you know

Mystic Melody Moaning

dimwit damping desires
punctured passion pulsing
puking, sopped plenary
impregnated zeal gnashing
odd offshoot scolding

cremated cusses cobbling
hewn nosy tracery
strapped self scrunching

jumpy jazz jolting
mystic mist moaning
lusty limbs lurching

felon feigning ally;
perforated pulpy pedigree.
19:11:30:5:00

Note: To all corrupt Police Officers!

Provacative Candle

Poems to read and many to write
All to be done under this flickering light
Of an ageless candle’s burning flame
Silent words begin to have claim.

A stream of wax drips down a side
My eyes close while trying to decide,
Either ruffle it with joy or let it be sad
Put in a dash of humor on my pad.

Trifle as it may seem to be
The flames glow is watching me
Does it know what I am writing down?
Will it waver intensely casting a frown?

A sense of ambience rides up the walls
Thoughts become strenuous, but often stalls,
Any motion to write the flame will insult
It affects my view by its act of cult.

Casting a shadow upon me I became spellbound
No moral virtues, such actions are so profound
I laid a box of candles on the table to tease
You’ll be history you dimwit, you must appease.

Galapagos Island Ignoramus Oops Iguana

Galapagos Island Ignoramus, (oops) Iguana  
or
Seventh Grade Craziness
Written: By Tom Wright
12/12/2003

I didn’t mind being called an ignoramus,
The class was divided; about half thought it was a compliment,
But I knew she was calling me some sort of big lizard.
I was happy that it wasn’t dimwit or blockhead.

There's a Buddha In There Somewhere

The snow's drifting
my mind's drifting...

Five foot bamboo
now stands at two
under blizzard's remains
measuring maybe three.

Here in the bamboo garden,
bowed but unbowed
by Winter's weight,
the evergreen kisses 
its own feet, the Earth
altar receives prostrations.

There's a Buddha in there
somewhere.

The snow, Oh-so pure
so white, so tailored to fit,
every nook, every fold 
the entirety of entirety.
The snow, though white,
how soonafter tinged
by grime, and trodden black.

My mind, Oh-so sure
so right, so failured.  Dimwit,
every nook, every fold
the entirety of entire me
(the entire me of entirety?)

There's a Buddha in there
somewhere.

An Episcopalian Who Became An Australian

ead of Reverend should it be Father. That is what everyone else is called.

Uncanny Priest Depiction Picture Contest

This should be your first Church Poetry Contest.
Write a poem that depicts what you are thinking
in your picture.

Saw face and wondered what Priest was thinking;
What we found is probably around he was dinking;
Wondering about what next really prefers to write;
Is certain to invite us to church with much delight.

Would arrive at conclusion about what we do need,
Must prepare profound poem for our parish to read;
Obviously Priest possessed a pleasant expression,
And did know was not example of deep depression.

What picture is not about may be of more interest
And when it we planned had become hard to resist;
Won't believe this when around he was storming,
Have heard many say that he may be a Mormon.

When this was mentioned he smiled and smiled;
By a dimwit, dumb President us he really defiled,
Instead of being famous ignoramus Episcopalian,
He had converted continents and is an Australian.

James Josephus Jolly Horn

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