I woke up and felt dead.
Nothing new, but I’m spurred on by tonight’s events,
A chance to drink and party with friends.
I didn’t understand my lecture and the tutorial went over my head,
But it’s fine, it’ll be drunkenly forgotten by the time I’m in bed.
Mondays are tough, I’m not rewarded refuge from the noise,
I’m left yearning for the next night out with the boys.
When I won’t stress about uni,
When I no longer hate the way I look,
The scars disappear as if the alcohol took- all the that pushes me over,
All the restless torments and stupid insecurities,
But they’ll be back, and worse, as soon as I’m sober.
The floodgates reopen and the water floods my mind,
Accompanied by headaches and nausea entwined,
Now it’s worse than ever because all that I can think,
Is when an earth can I next drink.
For Andrea's Life contest
For the Life of Me
For the life of me
I can’t figure you out.
In another life we
would be the perfect couple.
Under different circumstances
we would be set for life.
As it stands now, though, we are
hanging on for dear life.
So, grow up, be an adult
and get a life.
Her affections charm me like nothing else,
Captivating kindness clutches my heart with care.
Standing at the headland, her head rests, before we head home.
I’m the head of the outing, though soon, heading from home,
But she’s headstrong and she won’t be alone x
I’m living brightly, daily and nightly; Everything stays
Right where you left it. As I wait
Until I see you again.
And then, when I do
First our skin touches
My blood seized from my sway-
Slowly at first, I toppled over
Spinning as my mind keeps chasing her way.
Breathing in her laughter,
The curve of her soft hand,
Warmth from her heals me,
I'd give her anything I can.
She’s my calm and the light I see through;
Wherever I stand, she always can view-
Up in my bridge, my only virtue.
Guessing whether you ever wonder:
Will glass balls always be filled daily and
(To)nightly with the beautiful moon
To lay beside you in the grave,
The pleasure will all be mine
To leave the laughter and crave
For the fading sunshine,
For what I am without you,
For what I am without you.
To leave the grieving soul
And join you,
The gentle breeze of heaven,
Or bear the heat of hell too.
For what I am without you,
For what I am without you.
To love with such depths,
Like the sun does for sky,
To stay away but float with it,
To answer but lie,
For what I am without you,
For what I am without you.
I today voice what I think
From the heart full of pain,
Centuries are witness,
To my undying willing gain,
For what I am without you,
For what I am without you.
You are the master and I am the slave,
I beg for you to stay,
For ,I am the sea and you are the bay.
For ,I am the silence and you are the say.
For what I am without you
For what I am without you.
Dependence
Looking out of the window
at the doctor's waiting room
his receptionist had gone outside for a smoke
she wore black underwear
under a white nylon dress
Faux pas?
What do I care, who dresses in a black T-shirt
jeans and a yellow silk scarf
in the hope of looking seedy but elegant
She inhaled the smoke deeply
I am filled with lust, my lips dry
oh, a kingdom for a drag
She saw my lust, drew the wrong conclusion
stumped her ***
Inside, she looked at me with contempt
It’s a parasite’s world.
The worm of laziness
Clogging the mind,
Ego refusing change.
It’s a parasite’s world,
Seeping through one’s blood and breath.
Adoption, adaptation to change, an uphill task.
Ignorance, dark, deep, masquerading ugliness.
It’s a parasite’s world---
Where dependence is practice.
And excuses-- strategy, to design.
Deadlines met feverishly by others.
It’s a parasite’s world,
Where type of work affect quality.
Where comparison and perks galore
Stifling freedom, to create with responsibility.
It’s a parasite’s world,
Where, those who do and are willing
Get busted with jargon of abuse.
Euphemisms learnt and articulated.
It’s a parasite’s world
Where fear is fed with horror.
Where incompatibility and incompetency
Rule one’s hidden strength and power.
It's a parasite's world
where love lavishes in luxury
and 'Basic Instinct' given prowess
Suck out life from the 'highest of all species'.
you are the puppet,
I am the strings,
and yet you control everything,
to wake up each day
with a promise I've made,
only for you
to not see it through,
does anything matter to you?
alone in my bed,
wandering thoughts,
what's it for,
to sit and rot?
I'd rather not,
but here you lay
wasting each day
like it's worthless to you anyways,
with strings I command,
yet you ignore my demands,
it's what you deserve,
a harsh reprimand,
"RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE
ITS TIME FOR YOUR PLAY
PUT ON THAT SMILE
AND TACKLE THE DAY"
yet, clearly there's something
you don't comprehend,
a promise you've made
but still you contend,
you laze away the days embrace
falling behind in life's race,
you are the puppet
and I am the strings
and yet it seems
I can do nothing
I don't need someone
who needs me...
It doesn't make me feel healthy
On the contrary, I feel sorry...
Soul in need
Yearns for peace
Christ grants love.
Faith hides fear
Doubts draw nigh
God's strength reigns
Heart with thanks
Worships now
“Praise the Lord*!”
*Psalm 118:28 Thou art my God, and I will praise thee: thou art my God, I will exalt thee.
January 26, 2023
5th place, "Tricube" Poetry Writing Contest
Sponsored by Sara Kendrick; judged on 1/29/2023.
What he wrote in a room
got darker,
he could hardly see the static snow
he was printing his mind upon.
He knew
that there would have to be a change, a mind-shift.
His place in his world was becoming precarious.
"Next summer" he thought, "I will take my desk
and laptop out into the public square." He smiled
at the thought of a 'public square'
his mind had gone public years ago
and perfect squares were hard to find.
Yet he knew also he was hiding himself still,
his scribblings were like kites
spinning in a windstorm.
"'I will go and sit outside Walmart,
hand out scraps of paper to the patrons
as they come and go.
When and if they ask me to explain myself
I will be forced into a truth
not seen in dark rooms.
Sometimes one has to be a public curiosity,
a square in a round hole
in order to find out the right question to ask yourself."
Without Yehovah I would stumble and fall
I’d be like a blind man and crash ‘gainst a wall
Without Yehovah my whole life would be bleak
With nothing to hope for and nothing to seek
Without Yehovah, oh how beastly I’d be
There’d be no distinction ‘tween animals and me
Without Yehovah there’s no reason for being
Nothing to hope for and nothing worth seeing
Without Yehovah I would stumble and fall
Without Yehovah I’d be nothing at all
Soul vs Face
Hand to hand,
Face to face,
Always together,
Yet never embraced.
Back to back,
Side to side,
The space grows slowly,
Yet we never look round.
Look round for change,
Look round to arrange,
Look round to consider,
Our life quickly fades.
Arm to arm,
Eyes down the way,
We become strangers,
Yet together we stay.
Hand to hand,
Face to face,
Still together,
But forever away.
We strove to be Independent from an oppressive government not to become dependent on another one.
John G. Lawless
7/4/2021
I have a friend who comes along,
Perhaps he is an enemy,
I hear him knocking at my door,
When boredom strikes or shadows creep
The sound he makes is so alluring,
I often wish he’d go away,
And yet I always let him in,
Or is it he who’s letting me?
He speaks in lies that taste like truth—
In whispered words that mask the pain,
Yet never satisfies the thirst,
But slowly poisons over time
Our friendship started years ago,
And seemed back then a two-way street,
But now I know the more I take,
The more he takes from me
we all write together
-no independence -
words, thoughts, were made for us
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