Prone to portray an image to have it all figured out
Externally put together while internally pulled apart
Ready to take off armor and start letting down guard
Reinforcing interior instead of constructing a façade
Possible to flip the script to stop putting on a show
Displaying my mess instead as an opportunity to grow
Even if she were a whore
With a visible moral sore:
The licentious from her jaw,
Largely The Deprived or poor,
A fool seeming to the core,
On all days A Bore
But broke A Toothless Law,
You mustn’t her on paper draw,
On her invective pour
Nor bang on her door…
These, a raising of dust and more,
For The Law silly defenses would floor.
I woke up today,
to chaos
and expectations,
and demands.
my heart began pounding
and I threw up my defenses.
Walls erected a million miles high above me
I can finally breathe.
I get dressed,
and for the first time in a long time
I felt pretty today.
You were kind to me,
and for a short time,
I felt safe.
Then it came
as it always does
You call it a joke..
as I feel the agony
of my heart being broke
again.
It shatters into a million pieces.
The pain was so much
and I opened up,
I told you
How badly I hurt
and the darkness that lives
inside of me
and immediately....
chaos
expectations
demands
threats
guilt.
and I throw back up my defenses,
But I'm already broken
again.
So I sit alone
and self medicate.
as always, whiskey helps drown my pain
I felt pretty today.
Robin redbreasts welcome Spring
in the melodies they sing.
Bearing breasts of ruddy-red,
they've returned from whence they fled.
A flash of crimson on white
is indeed a pleasing sight.
And as the icicles melt,
Spring's tepid breath can be felt.
Daffodils poke through the ground,
and suddenly, sprouts abound.
Where white was, green patches spread,
a sign of what lies ahead.
Nature nurtures life once more,
and my spirit starts to soar.
Breaching Winter's defenses,
Spring awakens my senses.
You won me in
the shard of a second
I opened to you like an oyster
In that one moment you tore down
walls, shattered towers. Opened shells,
devoured me, saw me, and in that instant,
in your soft eyes, I saw no triumph, you
were a mirror. I was beautiful, you
saw no scars. Your smile
burned into my soul...
And I was yours.
***
March 24, 2017
Copyright © Darren White
We long for relationships
that know no borders,
in which hearts can roam free,
frolicking with each other,
and galloping at will
through fields and streams
in broad daylight,
and spontaneous affections
can nuzzle unrestrained.
Yet on our humble ranch,
it is the broken horses
that we so often ride.
Connections become curtailed
that once headed for the horizon,
by trial and error taught
to shield certain wounds
and mind necessary fences,
in many a peculiar pasture.
We use five senses every day
As we work and as we play
They are useful and handy
I will list them so you see
We could never live without
What these senses are all about
Eyes can do so many things
With the looks that they can bring
Joy, passion and sensual
They can stare with sexual
Ideas that glimmer, glow and shine
Whenever your eyes meet mine
Fingers are for feeling
And they always get me reeling
Every time they brush by me
I feel alive and free
Knowing they are there to hold
Whenever my world turns cold
Noses are used for making
Smells seem so intoxicating
Like the lingering sweet scent
Every time that you invent
Mixture of candles and perfume
Filling a romantic room
Mouths and lips are used for tasting
Each day I am never wasting
Chances of a yummy kiss
Or flavors that I cant resist
Of chocolates I am gently fed
On a soft and loving bed
Ears are used for whispering
Every time I'm listening
To a voice I want to hear
I love you's so loud and clear
In a tone we understand
I'm your woman--- Your my man
There is nothing left to do
But use our senses all day through
They are like a hidden gem
Of unexpected feelings
communicated purpose sighs,
fated signs pressed in melted wax.
vandalized solution soon dies,
methodical confessions tax.
fated signs pressed in melted wax,
defending crumbled walls of need.
methodical confessions tax,
finding silence willing to bleed.
defending crumbled walls of need,
ambition grows an honest lie.
finding silence willing to bleed,
gather the memories passed by.
ambition grows an honest lie,
tomorrow's secret closely hold.
gather the memories passed by,
love only for a moment told.
tomorrow's secret closely hold,
drinking December's thawing ice.
love only for a moment told,
consumed by numbers on the dice.
drinking December's thawing ice,
choking on midnight's changing year.
consumed by numbers on the dice,
addictions negotiate fear.
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