I Felt Pretty
I woke up today,
to chaos
and expectations,
and demands.
my heart began pounding
and I threw up my defenses.
Walls erected a million miles high above me
I can finally breathe.
I get dressed,
and for the first time in a long time
I felt pretty today.
You were kind to me,
and for a short time,
I felt safe.
Then it came
as it always does
You call it a joke..
as I feel the agony
of my heart being broke
again.
It shatters into a million pieces.
The pain was so much
and I opened up,
I told you
How badly I hurt
and the darkness that lives
inside of me
and immediately....
chaos
expectations
demands
threats
guilt.
and I throw back up my defenses,
But I'm already broken
again.
So I sit alone
and self medicate.
as always, whiskey helps drown my pain
I felt pretty today.
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