please don’t love me
i’m such a damned mess, darling
i feel like a slob in all of my forms
physically, emotionally, spiritually
my mind hates my body
my mind hates itself
it twists the people i love into monsters
i’m scared that if you love me i’ll love you back
and i’ll make you into a monster
when all you are is open arms and a smile
i don’t want to get to know you
i don’t want my mind to emphasize your imperfections
and scrutinize every small detail when it suddenly feels like loving is a mistake
my love works in waves
it isn’t fair to you, to be loved by me
i’m not a true lover
i’m not forgiving or understanding or kind
i get impatient and rash and angry and mean
it’s all crooked
i’m so sorry
for the pains i know i’ve caused you
each day, i pass between the walls of loving you fully and regretting each interaction we have
it isn’t fair
it can’t be sane
perhaps this is a sign of something bad
for myself or for us
I am a 15-year-old going through a 20-year-old lifestyle
I wonder why do bad things happen to good people
I hear crying
I see tears
I want answers to questions
I am a 15-year old going through a 20-year-old lifestyle
I pretend to be ok
I feel dead
I touch his tears
I worry it will be the last time I see him
I cry when he cries
I am going through a 20-year-old lifestyle
I understand that it will only make us stronger
I say it’s going to be ok
I dream that it will be ok
I try to be strong for him
I hope everything can go back to normal
I am a 15-year old going through a 20-year-old lifestyle
I fear you,
but need
you.
Want you,
but hate
you.
Love you,
can't stand
you.
Wished I
never met
you.
Written by: Poet Shi
UNSUPPORTED CODE We...
Love the concept of being original,
UNSUPPORTED CODE Always... UNSUPPORTED CODE
Concept the original, being of love,
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Of the original being, concept love!
UNSUPPORTED CODE Will... UNSUPPORTED CODE
The original being of love concept?
UNSUPPORTED CODE Be... UNSUPPORTED CODE
Original, love the concept of being.
Love... UNSUPPORTED CODE
Being the original concept of love....
As I look around
I see some strange sites
People who were love lost
Now Suddenly they love life.
They found that person
Who makes them feel complete
I found that person too
She just don't feel the same about me.
I try to change her mind
But I realize I'm too late
Cupids arrows missed
And now I must face my fate.
I have tried and tried
To get you to like me
But is it working
Or is this just my dream?
You send me mixed messages
You make me feel confused
You make me feel so happy
Then you make me feel so used.
But will you be mine
Or will you just hate me
I need to know now
Can I call you my baby?
Why oh why,
Do I want to cry?
Why oh why,
Am I frozen inside?
Why oh why,
Am I feeling this way?
I feel as though my heart has something to say.
But confusion swirls and twirls around my mind,
I wish I could leave my thoughts behind.
And trust my heart instead,
Of my annoyingly logical head.
Then finally I decide to take a chance at love,
And give my rational mind a push and a shove.
And what do you know,
I felt as though my heart began to grow and glow.
A warm feeling came over me,
And I felt as though this love was destiny.
With his gentle hand he brushed away my hair,
And with a kiss I had not a single care.
I am glad I didn’t listen to my head,
Because now I know before I met him I was dead.
He brought me to life with that one single kiss,
He’s the love of my life,
My only happiness.
I approach you
You turn away
Why do you toy with me
You move
I smile
Why do I love you
I cry
You do not comfort
Why do you toy with me
Many days go by and I wonder what it is I love about you.
I see you everyday with a guy you say you love.
My heart knows that we are meant to be together.
While my mind tries to force you away.
So this is the reason I'm so confused.
You say you only want to be friends.
But you say you have thoughts of us at times as more.
You say you are safe and comfortable around me.
But you say at other times you feel awkward having me around.
You tell me you love me,
But you say you are unsure how.
This is why I'm so confused.
I know remember everything about you and you seemed shocked when i do.
Then you tell me I know nothing about you.
You say we are nothing alike.
Yet then you say we have so much in common.
I try to say i don't want to be with you,
But I keep lying to myself.
This is yet another reason I am so confused.
If only we could try,
If only we could talk,
If only we could clear all the mist,
Then I believe our confused love would actually be just a TRUE LOVE.
You said you wanted me
Now you say you want her
Now why couldn’t I see?
That you’ll always be with her
My heart sits here and bleeds
From all the pain it’s fed
Hatred blooms from seeds
And depression sits in bed
To you no one compares
I will always love you
A heart filled with despair
To you I will always be true
You say you have love for me
You say you have love for her
For me you say you care
For her your life you share
Do I dare move on?
You told me not to wait
I’m afraid you’ll be gone
‘Cause I thought we were fate
You told me not to wait
You said you were through
I only thought we were fate
And so my love grew
Your poems made me cry
Your poems made me happy
My tears you would dry
When I’m down and crappy
A mom I can’t wait to be
I want you as the dad
Why can’t you just see,
I’m not all that bad
You’re going off with her
You told me to move on
But I’m not so sure
I’m scared forever you’ll be gone
Why doesnt aything make sense anymore?
Why am I so confused?
How can you love someone you just met,so much?
Do i love you?
I think i love you
Is it you i love?
Or the way you gently rub your fingers through my hair as i lay my head on your chest?
Is it you i wanna be with?
Or that gentle, understanding personality?
But do you love me?
If i were to ask you, would you say yes?
Or tell me its all just in my head?
Or is it all just in my head?
Maybe it is
Maybe its just my mind playin tricks...confused love games?
Sometimes love is pain and pain is love.
Missing that special love only confuses that pain.
You truly don't miss a thing until it's gone.
And the feeling of that missing element only stabilizes the pain.
At times this love can be misinterpreted with lust.
A heart never lies but a mind can be manipulated.
Which is more trustworthy and which is less deserving?
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