Dear Diary
Today didn't work out the way that I'd planned
coz my phone and my Nike's got covered in sand
In fact this whole week has been slow as a fart
But I've broken my record of breaking boys hearts
I can't WAIT for Friday, I'll blag Dad for cash
For a bottle of cider and small bag of hash
Then off to the park for a drink and a smoke
And hope I don't whitey after just a few tokes
I'm praying he'll be there, I'm up for a flirt
Don't care if I freeze, still wearing a skirt
Well, under my coat so my Mum doesn't see
I'll be grounded for life and she'll take my T.V :(
Then Saturday morning we're off to see Gran
Who smells like old cabbage and cat food and bran
She hates me in Hoodies, "I wear them",she's told
"not coz I will stab you, but because I'm COLD!"
Then when we get home, put the X Factor on
kiss pictures of you while repeating our song
I stalked you on Facebook, you'd 'poked' me again
drew lovehearts and kisses surrounding your name
I'm dreading school Monday, I might fake a fever
Then stay in my bed Googling Justin Beiber
xoxoxoxox
13th July 2011
LOOKING BACK
Life ain't always easy,
Can be a bitter pill,
But I found when I was young,
I could have fun still.
We were poor, I guess that's true,
'Cause Mama left my dad,
And took me to the swamp lands,
Where I found life not half bad.
Folks out there didn't have much school,
Got by on common sense.
In fact they looked on city folks,
As just a little dense.
Mom wasn't understanding,
And beat me now and then,
I guess she figured that's the way,
You keep a child from sin.
Grandpa understood me more,
And kept her oft at bay.
The quiet man laid down the law,
And folks heard what he'd say.
Our food was what we grew out back,
And what our men folks hunted.
It wasn't fancy that's for sure,
But no one grew up stunted.
It taught me to be patient,
And wait upon the Lord.
It taught me not to live too far,
Above what I afford.
I learned to love the Lord a lot,
Depend upon His Grace,
I also leaarned an honest man,
Need never hide his face.
I guess I can't complain too much,
'Cause it made me what I am,
And taught me to appreciate,
And respect my fellow man.
Judy Ball
~~~ Not Without the Bear !! ~~~
It was summer and time to travel,
so where the heck was the bear.
I knew I wouldn't have any fun
if he wasn't with me there.
He was the first thing I must pack
before my shorts or hat.
More important that sunglasses
and I wouldn't forget to pack that.
In my travels each summer,
whether to our cabin or just camping,
the bear and I, we were a set.
The most important thing I'd bring.
Soft and furry, with big ears
and only eight inches tall.
My favourite toy, I had to bring.
He was no trouble at all.
He's small enough and quiet enough
and follows me with his eyes.
He likes to sit inside my shirt.
He just happens to be the right size.
So, tease me , if you must,
I really just don't care.
It was summer and time to travel.
I wasn't going without the bear !!
~~~ 03/07/2011 ~~
Francine Roberts
Company
Where are you going, where have you been?
My dear, close, and quiet friend,
As we sit in the soft springtime Saturday's end
Taking comfort in each other once again.
Tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine;
And so we will pass a few hours time
With the quaint and the comic and even sublime -
Silently searching for that elusive sign.
We'll fashion the future and polish the past,
Allowing the memories to amass;
While the grains of sand slip through the glass
'Til a tranquil lull pervades at last.
Conversation fades with the eve's golden light,
We cannot go on, try though we might;
So you gather me an embrace so tight,
And we wistfully, longingly say goodnight.
dad am so glad
and not sad
for when i was bad
growing up
pick me up from the dust
tho you fess
to kept me from lust
and all kind
of bad stuff
because you too
my life is set
must say happy father day
my eyes or wet
FATHER YOU ARE THE BEST
My special gift from God above.
My miracle, my heart, my Love.
I know He loves me this is true.
For He entrusted me with you.
Nurturing and watching you grow
has taught me so much in this world.
The questions you ask , discoveries you find
goals that you reach makes me proud that your mine.
You are special... one of a kind.
I wish this didn't hurt so bad,
Reliving these memories make me sad.
You were cold and unleashed your abuse,
And my mother helped with your excuse.
You had her wrapped like a glove,
you didn't deserve her love.
For you she turned her back on me,
That's what you wanted and she couldn't
see.
You got everything you wanted,
Even in my dreams I am haunted.
All the raping and beatings I took,
Is this what I had to go though to write a
book?
Everything you put me through was brutal,
And now therapy is very crucial.
I can't dream or sleep because of you,
Everything you did I remember and every
bit of it is true.
You claim to be a man,
But as a child I had to try and dodge your
plan.
When my husband touches me,
My skin burns and I want to turn and flee.
Are you happy with what you have done,
You taught me to hate men and run.
You didn't care if you were sober or high,
Escaping you is what I did try.
I had no one to stand beside me,
And just to live a life I had to pay a fee.
I hate you for everything you have done,
I lived a life of abuse which was no fun.
For everything you did you know you were
wrong,
But that's okay one day I will be strong!
CHARLTON HESTON AND MY CHILDHOOD
To say so in those days would surely have been libel
But better than hellfire screamed from pulpits above
Were the sandal and toga movies about the bible
They always spoke softly to me about God’s love
It seemed so logical, to do good - so just, so appropriate.
God told Heston go forth, and lead people away from Brynner:
When Charlton Heston told you to do it
He said it not for show but from a love which was inner.
Seemed to me in movies the good guys got rewarded
And the hypocrites always got exposed -
Reminded me of teachers who were applauded
When they stood and as self-righteous religionists posed.
Always made me happy to see on Saturday nights
What was twisted or denied in school next week:
In toga movies, even the bad guys had some rights
And Heston favoured not the strong but the weak.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Charlton Heston and Yul Brynner starred in movie THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
Heston was the good guy, Moses. Brynner was the bad guy, Pharaoh.
Final score: Moses 1 - Pharaoh 0
Emotions that are never shown
These underlain feelings of being so alone
Emotions that come and go
That ominous, ominous road
The spark of these feelings
The fuel of this depression
You say that you love me
BUT I KNOW ITS A F...ING LIE
Everyone's eyes are on me
All saying whose that guy
the picture comes into focus
none of them would care if i DIE
I Think back as far as I can remember
Since the beginning you've always been this way
using me to get what you want
convincing me that its my price to pay
My fault to take
My chance that passed
Always setting me up to finish last
You set me aside to tend to another
That is you, My very own f...ing mother
My daddy was my loved hero
when I was a tiny sprite.
To walk along beside him, was
for me a great delight.
I loved the swish of overalls
as he carried in the milk.
To me the sound was sweeter
than the soft rustle of silk.
I wondered why my sock clad legs
would not make that unique sound.
But it really didn’t matter
when my daddy was around.
I vowed he would be like Daddy,
the only kind I’d marry.
I’d hear the swish of overalls
as the foaming milk he’d carry.
Although that was not to happen
in spite of my big talk,
I dressed my son in overalls
the day he learned to walk.
By: Joyce Johnson Won a second in Jeans contest
(they weren't called jeans in Daddy's day.)
For Nette Onclaud's contest "It's In the Jeans"
I’m well aware it’s not discreet
to walk barefoot upon the street.
In summer too hot, in winter cold
and more than that, I’m much too old.
But it was not so long ago
that I was just a child you know
And living in the country-side
where comfort only was my guide.
With the school’s end and no more classes
I knew the velvet of spring grasses
as I ran through the morning dews,
quite unencumbered by my shoes.
Blood poison was our only fear.
My mother warned me every year,
“Be careful where you’re running dear.”
as she bandaged me and wiped a tear.
We’d never heard of E.coli
nor that from Mersa we might die.
Unaware of dangers everywhere
we ran barefoot, without a care.
I’m sorry for the modern child
who cannot know the feel of wild
abandon in the long hot summer.
She must wear shoes and that’s a bummer.
For Francine's "Barefoot" contest
The day I was born,
I was given a horse.
My first new toy
and best friend of course.
I didn't know then,
but Horsey was his name.
He followed me everywhere,
we were two in the same.
He helped me through rough times,
and he wen through a few himself.
Like losing a tail, and a leg,
and well, his over all health.
But that was no match
for my mothers sewing machine.
Lets just say in the end,
he was looking pretty lean.
He traveled all over the world with me.
I left him everywhere.
But we'd always have to turn back for him
because I was not one to share.
I must say, the things I learned
from that horse alone,
will stick with me forever
even when he's retired at home.
Though I can't help but think, and I swear to this day
there was a magic force
that knew all to well what it was doing
when it brought me to that horse.
its because i love you daddy
that i had the strength to let you go
its because i love you daddy
that i let you move on
to begin another family
and yet leave me as your bastard son
its because i love you
that i bore it all
so that at the end of the day
i will smile when you smile
even though its not at me you smile
not with me you smile
but,your smile is my smile because i love you
i love you
though you left
its all because i love you
that i'm able to take it all inside
and though you don't tap me on my shoulder though you dont hug
embrace me
i work hard to make you proud
for i am a part of your seed
and though you are not here
i will always love you
its because i love you
that i have the strength to bear
that you left
People tell me all the time,
these are the best years of ya life.
But I never believed them,
I just wish it would pass by.
When we are young,
we all want to be older,
do things we can't really do.
But I know now I was young.
Even though
these years are tough.
These years are
too important for all of us
These years we find out,
who we really are.
Who we really want to be,
and tests to see if we becoming them.
Don't tell me,
that you know who you are,
for we can't fully,
only Jah above can.
Learn something new everyday,
down though the years.
But if you grow up too fast,
You won't see ya self grow.
I've kept mooping around,
wishing these years to pass,
these memories to fade.
But these tell me who I am.
Time always goes,
theres no stopping it.
Don't speed it up,
you'll miss out.
I've learned so much,
I've been though much.
I've seen the best.
I've seen the worst.
But I know now,
who i'm becoming,
who I want to be.
I'm actually happy for once.
For I am 19 years old,
forever still won't tell me who I am,
but I will enjoy the time,
finding out who I truly am.
I'm miss sensitive and I feel everything.
It hurts to feel, I cannot speak, It hurts to be me.
If you hug me you will suffocate me, If you dress me I will feel to much and you will
cause me much despair, If you speak to me I will ignore you because I am not a social
creature, I do not have the words to say I love you either.
Finally If I should be injured a never
ending flood may come from my eyes I may never stop crying, I may never be yours.
If you make any mistakes
Me, I will not be yours I will be
the disorder that drowns out my
words and and robs me of my soul So I will never have control.
So I seem wild and some times untameable.
You will be sad then and you will care but you will not know what to do. Because I am the
sensitive child and autism is me autism
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