Humorous Cat Poems

Did ever I tell you, sweetie,
About my grandpa Tweety?
See how you feel
In a cage, you heel,
While I'm off in Tahiti!...

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You love to chase the old cow,
and make the kitten go meow,
I have put you in your place,
now no one left to chase.
I got you~let...

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UH-OH—SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG!
SO NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BURST INTO SONG?
            I'LL TEACH THAT...

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Along came a fine feline named Morris, 
Lured by lilt of lascivious chorus; 
He crouched inside the cage, 
Appetite to assuage - 
Patiently he purports...

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There once was a Cat who made a wish.
It had to do with Clancy's pet fish.
	If its bowl would break,
	one swoop would it take
to proclaim...

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Skeletons In The Closet

The stoners are in the closet
And the skeletons are on the bed.
Wait! reverse that…
The skeletons are in the closet
And the stoners are...

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If you’re a human, a word of advice
Don’t leave computers with cats, rats or mice
If these share your home but you need to be gone
For...

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I was only four, 
when Blackie my dog died. 
My dad ran my best friend over, 
yes it was a horrible accident. 

 
I was...

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stop throwing baseballs
for my neighbour's cat
his swing just isn't in it
and besides, I'm a little
worried for his fragility
he, being just porcelain...

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Cat locked out in the rain

Soggy 
Moggy

Cat uses litter tray

Tiddles
Piddles

Cat didn’t use litter tray

Cat shat
On mat


Cat wouldn't eat the new cat food

Fussy
Pussy...

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Tail Trauma

I’m a Cat (fancy that) and my tail went all droopy.
When I came in with it all bent, it sent my oomans loopy.
She started...

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Far more words than 
open ears --
a world of chatter;

words everywhere -- 
difficult to avoid such
precipitous splatter…

poets use them, vociferously!

Politicians use them, surreptitiously!
Ministers use them...

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There once was a fish kept in a bowl.
In his little sphere he had control.
But then that damn cat
Knocked it over—splat!
And proceeded to gobble him...

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The little girl loves rubbing me,
I love giving her kisses when we have tea.
She has this bowl of four new friends,
goldfish cannot go out to...

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Princess of the window, feline Mewzette,
plotted a plan change with no regret.
Not wanting to peruse dog from perch on the sill,
she ventured out front door...

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