RITTENHOUSE NO HARM
HE CAME IN WITH A FIREARM
PRETTI BOUGHT THE FARM
As I walked out in the streets of Manteca,
as I walked out in Manteca one day,
I spied a young cowboy asleep on the sidewalk,
when prodded from slumber these words he did say:
"You are wearing a Stetson, spurs, chaps, and a six-gun:
I assume then you must be a cowboy like me;
come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
then try to guess which shell is hiding the pea.
'Twas once in the saddle I used to ride gaily,
albeit I had not a horse to my name,
but down in the basement my dad had a saw-horse,
so I rode a steed that could never go lame.
O bury me holding a King and five Aces
with a pint of good whiskey to keep my corpse warm,
and a pair of my custom made dice in my watch fob,
for I'm a young cowboy and I've bought the farm."
Even during the least happy times in our lives
It is never so unhappy that we should ever lose hope
Whoever said, “Tomorrow is another day”
Had the secret to a happy life
Another is, “Don't sweat the small stuff”
So simple yet so obvious, it make a whole lot of sense
I don't have any secrets or special potions that I take
But after living for almost 9 decades, there are certain things
That make a whole lot of sense and a lot that don't
It's knowing which is which and choosing
The ones that your inner voice tells you
To follow, it makes a hell of lot of sense!
They say with age comes wisdom which is true to a degree
But at any age, it's your inner voice
That should always help you make the right choices
Today started out bright and shiny
Then suddenly turned cloudy and sad
Doesn't take much to turn it around
To change a good day to bad
Something that seems so insignificant
Can change the mood of the day
Like rain that falls that wasn't predicted
Or snow in the middle of May
They call us guys moody people
They wonder why we're up and down
It's quite uncontrollable most of the time
We'd much rather smile than frown
So if you see me with a frown on my face
Remember it's nothing you said
It's just this up and down mood I get in
Much rather be upbeat instead
Lately I've been much more up than down
Happy it's not the other way round
Don't want to put an end to it any time soon
Decided I'd still like to hang around
Have no fear, love life way too much
To do myself some bodily harm
Would be totally contrary to who this guy is
You'll never say, “he bought the farm!”
Spawny, Spawny, he’s our man!
Bought the farm without the land,
fury-fueled, he took his stand.
Life had not gone as he planned.
Evil came to him unjust.
Sent to Hell in sudden thrust.
Return to Wanda, he must
become foul Hellspawn or bust.
Right the wrong unfairly dealt,
he sought evil where it dwelt.
Moral rightness is his belt,
doing good is how he felt.
Stopping evil now his quest.
Evil men he does detest.
Justice comes at his behest,
anti-hero full of zest.
Twitter’s a sewer;
I find I press fewer
and fewer times launching that app.
An agitprop brewer,
though slightly less bluer,
these days, my feed’s mostly pure crap.
There’s fodder for poems
(you probably know ‘em)
such as Florida Man’s escapades,
like when he bought the farm
when a gator disarmed
him while hiding from cops in the ‘glades.
So, sometimes I open
the app when I’m hoping
to get inspiration to write,
but it’s time to change horses
and find better sources
that won’t disappoint me tonight.
That’s what the Ground hogs whistle:
‘hell or high water’
then they put on their old-timey spectacles
and the glasses slip
to the end of their stubby snouts.
The squirrels climb too high
for the lower depths of Hades to reach,
but the hawks are not religious.
Daddy bought the farm
his old lady, the unmarried one,
died also
tugging at his shirt tails.
The waters receded some,
hell closed its barroom doors
to all the better critters.
Only the bottom feeders
were allowed in;
not the whales
they had outgrown heaven
and hell,
the high waters kept them safe
until the oily whalers
came back
to reclaim the low ground.
Today I crossed a milestone in a most eventful life
Fourscore years of wonder in a world awash in strife
I’ve kept a sense of humor in the face of utter gloom
Honored my commitments, married an incredible wife.
I’ve lived through awful wars and horrible pandemics
Frightening social upheavals with prejudices endemic,
But I’ve also seen a great many achievements for good
Encountered a majority of folks doing what they should
I’ve loved and lost, while enjoying many friendships
Along the way, and I can say, I’ve had a darn good run,
So when I go, I hope folks’ll say, “He surely did have fun!”
Please no tears when you learn I’ve bought the farm
I’ve tried to live my life without doing anyone harm,
I’ve done the best I could with what little I was given
I’m looking forward to a longer run, of course, in heaven.
written on December 5, 2021
my 80th birthday!
Today started out bright and shiny
Then suddenly turned cloudy and sad
Doesn't take much to turn it around
To change a good day to bad
Something that seems so insignificant
Can change the mood of the day
Like rain that falls that wasn't predicted
Or snow in the middle of May
They call us guys moody people
They wonder why we're up and down
It's quite uncontrollable most of the time
We'd much rather smile than frown
So if you see me with a frown on my face
Remember it's nothing you said
It's just this up and down mood I get in
Much rather be upbeat instead
Lately I've been much more up than down
Happy it's not the other way round
Don't want to put an end to it any time soon
Decided I'd still like to hang around
Have no fear, love life way too much
To do myself some bodily harm
Would be totally contrary to who this guy is
You'll never say, “he bought the farm!”
My brothers can you hear me, my sisters can you see?
I want to be a part of your world, if only you'll let me be.
I promise not to hurt, I promise not to harm.
I promise to give you all I have, before I've bought the farm.
I give you my words, they are written here for you to read.
I'll always treat you with equality, even if it makes me bleed.
Our blood is all the same, in our veins or on the ground.
I promise to be there for you, when your friends are not around.
I'll never see your color...I pray you don't see mine.
I will always see just your beauty and words, until the end of time.
Let's all join as one, across our many lands.
From the mountains and the tall green grass, and to those who live on sand.
My nephew is making me play a different version of hide and seek.
This version involves a gun, if he finds me, things will become bleak.
In this version, if a player is found, he is killed.
I'm scared out of my wits, I'm sure not thrilled.
He said if I didn't play the game, he'd kill me on the spot.
He's trying to find where I'm hid but I hope he can not.
He is a twisted and totally evil child.
His parents have never disciplined him and he's running wild.
My nephew just found and shot me, I have a bullet in my chest.
My life is flashing before my eyes and soon I'll be laid to rest.
My wife and kids will be devastated when they learn that I bought the farm.
This evil little child should be killed or locked up before he can do more harm.
Little Jimmy riding bike, somehow
Was run over by passing snow plow
He lost his left arm
Left leg bought the farm
And after a day, he’s all RIGHT now
Can you see that it's time
With no watch on your arm
Is there hope to survive
If you've done bought the farm
When all things feel right
Does the moment just flow
How can a man say
What he doesn't know
If your neck deep in the stream
Shouldn't you know how to swim
If there's truth in the ring
Should you step out and give in
Do all mountain tops
Come with a slope
How can a man reach the heights
If his life view is low
Are you late to the central
In Eastern time
If it's really that simple
Then why's it so hard to find
Have you often faltered
Where you've clearly been
How can a man love
If he's never let love in
If your deep in the dream
Can you be what you want to be
If your dream was a train
Would it run out of steam
Could you hold onto the promise
If the words aren't there to lend
How can a man start over
Once he's reached his end
MH
If there are humans on earth some years
in the future
They'll notice the sun has turned into a fiery
red creature
The sun is on a mission to eat the earth
In days to come sun will swallow earth, not
even burp
If this is thought to be a SciFi invention
It's 100% true this is the sun's intention
The solar system's end comes with sun's
cannibalistic feat
When he's eaten the other planets as an
after dinner treat
The reason for such actions is sun's
burning days are thru
And if he's burning out the rest of his
system is going too
THE UNIVERSE IS STRANGER THAN IMAGINED
THE UNIVERSE IS STRANGER THAN CAN BE IMAGINED
What's not even mentioned is sun's other tricks to harm
A coronal mass ejection and earth's bought the farm
The last CME (2012) missed earth by a cosmic inch
The next will hit earth and that's a cinch
Welcome to the jungle, where you might not wake up the next day,
Where your best friend just bought the farm, courtesy of a friendly mortar gone astray,
And where Charlie's ghosts, come out to play.
Welcome to the jungle, your innocence won't stay,
In a bath of blood, it'll be washed away,
While for the sins of some foreigner you pay.
Welcome to the jungle, where disease will eat you away,
And the bush grows thick, despite the chemicals they spray.
Farewell to the jungle, you barely lasted a day,
Just another body that they tossed into the fray,
And now your body rots in this country,
Far, far away.
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.