Best Whiny Poems
Mighty proud was I
with me lumber in one hand
my brick me carried in the other
I placed the brick in the barn yard
tall side for gained height
balanced the lumber board on top
I am silent and of Scottish temperament
You see folks
my feathered pet cock
was cock a doodle do-ing all day long
yapping and yelling
ranting and raving
the other farm animals had all had enough
action demanded
I place the ol koileach
at the end of one side of the board
all while smiling at the brainless duine beag
immediately I jumped on the other end
sending that whiny ol cock mid air
into the sea
he drowned
Ah what a wonderful day ladies
I shall meander onwards
among the heather and moor
my brick magically transformed
to fine woody scotch
oh what tales I shall tell
if tomorrow ever comes
Oh, you funny doggie, with that brown face I adore,
why are you now making that sound that I can't ignore?
Are you lonely? Are you sad? Are your paw paws feeling sore?
No dog whisperer am I, so sometimes it’s a chore
to understand your needs. My dog talk is so poor!
Already I have fed you. You surely can’t want more.
And already you’ve gone potty. I take you to the door.
No, you won’t go out! You sniff and sniff the floor.
At last I understand! It’s your ball you’re looking for!
Here it is, my doggie. Now what tricks have you in store?
Aug 16, 2018 for The Doberman Pinscher Contest of Edward Ibeh
Inspired by this video: Link A: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB9pVJ3mYcE
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends
decided where to meet for dinner.
the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View Restaurant,
because they had only $6.00 among them,
and a cute boy lived across the street named Jimmy Johnson.
10 years later, at their reunion,
the 25-year-old girlfriends decided where to meet for dinner again,
The Ocean View Restaurant because the drinks were cheap,
the band was good and the snacks were free,
there was no cover charge to get inside,
and the place was always packed with lots of cute guys.
The 35-year-old girlfriends at their reunion 10 years later
decided once again where to meet for dinner.
They agreed to meet at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the atmosphere was good and it was right near the gym,
and if they went late enough in the evening,
there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids to bug them.
At their reunion 10 years later, the 45-year-old girlfriends
decided to meet for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant
because the martinis were big and the waiters were young.
10 years later, the 55-year-old girlfriends
decided to meet for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant again,
because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good,
and had windows that opened in case of a hot flashes,
as all good restaurants should.
10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends
decided to dine at the Ocean View Restaurant as well
because the lighting was good and had an early bird special.
10 years later at their reunion,
the group of 75-year-old girlfriends
met for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant again,
because the food was not too spicy
and was handicapped-accessible for them.
10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends
met for dinner at the Ocean View Restaurant once more,
because none of them had ever been there before.
a saraband
Your tirade comes, it doth commence,
a hundred miles away I sense
your raging, whiny voice so tense.
In restful tones, my evening sigh
doth thank these stars, you’re in L.A.
I shirk my duties ever nigh
and thoughts engage where'er they may.
As I recline, dark quickly falls
and in my dreams, I snub your calls.
Yet when I wake, receding walls
resound your dire return to home.
I sense both hearts long to be free.
Go claim L.A., just let me roam
these miles that winnow thee from me.
Dear Santa, will you make my dream come true?
Although a little costly it may be,
I still believe there’s nothing you can’t do.
So could you please provide a cruise for me?
I’m not too picky. Any cruise is fun.
However, there’s a plan I wish to hatch.
It has to be a cruise with everyone
who matters most to me, so that’s the catch!
To take a cruise is easy, but whether
my sisters, spouse, grown kids, best friends and mom
could somehow at the same time come together
would prove quite hard, yet it would be the bomb!
I know that it’s a lot to ask because
a little naughty this past year I was!
A little naughty this past year I was.
I told my friend unneccessary things,
but no one gets me like a best friend does,
and so few share the comfort each one brings
me when I’m feeling down, and there are days
I blab too much. I fear I’m pestering
good friends who must endure my whiny ways.
Releasing woes, I stop their festering!
I’m also lazy, for I hate to do
my housework. I would rather watch tv,
and there are projects I do not get through,
for I’m online or writing poetry!
Dear Santa, is my naughtiness too bad?
At least I try not to make people sad.
At least I try not to make people sad.
I try to always live the Golden Rule.
I don’t go out and follow every fad.
I think I do good working at the school.
I simply want a cruise with family
and also with best friends online I’ve met.
I’ve made great friends through poetry, you see,
but face to face we have not talked as yet.
To eat, see shows, do kareoke, dance,
and tour with those most precious, one and all,
would be a dream! I have but this one chance.
Is this an order, Santa, much too tall?
I’d love this cruise. My life it would renew!
Dear Santa, will you make my dream come true?
Dec. 27, 2017 for Phillip Garcia's "From Your Lips To Santa's Ears" Contest
(These are done like a min-crown of sonnets, which to me is much nicer
than having to write a lot more sonnets than three!)
The sea is beautiful and I love it
and every single at the beach moment
Seagull chatters
Wind no matters
The body turning yummy brownie
My nature has stopped being whiny
I love it!
I love it! I love it!
And the best situation is my dear one
when there shines the shiny beautiful--
Diamond which to have is really such fun
On my right hand and not from a fool
19.05.2016
Dont quit,Dont regret,
Fly in the sky like a jet.
Even the tiny ants keep trying,
So are you gonna keep crying.
Dont be a whiny baby,
You can be the hulk maybe.
Just keep going on your track,
You should never look back.
I once suffered a hard defeat,
Learning from your mistakes is the biggest feat.
I keep going until I cant no more,
Run from the desert to the seashore.
Keep your motto to never quit,
keep going like a fluid.
Dont quit until you die,
As you know we live, we love, we lie.
Pick me, pick me
Said the little poem from the back
It has been in the line so long
Longing to be read
It knows that it is special
You can see it in its rhyme
It just needs someone to read it
Spare a few minutes of their time
It tries its best not to sound desperate
As no one likes a whiny poem
Also knows some poems are more meaningful
And just wants to feel like it belongs
It wasn't written by a famous poet
Like Dickinson or Walcott
But does it matter whose hand the pen is in
When you're jotting down your thoughts
As it now stands it'll stay in back
Waiting for the opportunity
To attract someone to take a chance
And give this little poem its read
I learned that I should eat my dessert first
For I am older, and I might die. But I didn't.
I learned that people are enthusiastic and loving.
And that in order to keep them, I have to do a little work.
I learned that to rejuvenate myself I have to make my own fun.
So I do that by painting cartoon canvases, and seeing grandchildren.
I learned that I do not want to spend a minute being bored.
And that I am in charge of my time, and how to spend each second.
I learned that it is okay to make an excuse and let go of
Whiny needy angry people even if they are your relatives.
Yesterday I learned to set the groundwork so I could
Thoroughly enjoy the day. Tomorrow I will learn more...
A haze…
Languorous oft in summer days
Where sundrops drip
From melting skies
Onto city grind
And parasols shade the cobbled grays
Across back alley lanes
Trains and trolleys tip toe by
As a fool in love forever waits
Among a noon bistro Paris crowd
For his girl, who is always fashionably late
Outside a sidewalk somewhere café cityscape
Young beauties amidst a mid-day stroll
Becomingly, become ever respectively
The flowers that line the picket way
Or some frilly prize ponies
Beneath carousels about avenues of Torrid place
A testament to this…
The carriage horses that turn their whiny heads
And then, when I turn mine
It’s to witness boots of cavalier instead
That step to one side
For moments languor has left
As my own prize has made red carpets rise
Those flutter lashes like shotguns glint blasts
And soon the white dove makes its notorious descent
Where the gentlemen, unbeknownst to them, become like minded ruffians
As they dive into madness for her precious handkerchief
“Oh” this women of mine, she has her perculiar ways
Just like all the silly rest
My damsel mademoiselle never enters into throes of distress
Longer lace invites mischievous about a button down dress
And her kisses offer smiles and arduent waves
With utter love contempt to them, but my hand is her biggest praise
I guess it’s the thrill of the game
And she’s the tigress and I her willful prey
Opening up the Gazette, coffee I incredulous sip and purposely hide my face
As my sweet flora strolls my way
And lands into her lover's arms
In a somewhere summer Paris afternoon café
"Music Box"
Wind it up to work her magic
Memories in a box unleashed with a flip of the lock
Releasing a small plume, you dust it off and sneeze
Turning the key to see a little painted ballerina in action
Missing flecks of the dress she has donned for generations
Time has worn her down
She spins a few rotations releasing a tune
Of Rock a Bye Baby, how mellifluous it is
That brings you back to good times again
A favor done for winding her up
You give her life, she gives you a chance
To recall when you once spent time
With your mother in the attic
And she thought you were old enough
To appreciate this grand memento
With cranks and pins and a dancer on top
Mama recalled she was once that age too
And shown an object, the very same
A lone tear starts you crying
Remembering she who is gone
And how proud you were to take possession
The dancer is bitter sweet
While the music winds down
She puts herself to sleep
With her own tune for bed time
Silence and thought take over the room
Until the baby down stairs starts producing
A whiny tune of her own
She will have to wait though
And the box will gather dust again
Until the time is right
“What are we when we are not...?”
MAN: A malevolent master making mountains of a mindless mass...
A meaningless magician motionlessly manipulating many minds...
A mating monster majestically magnifying materialistic manoeuvres...
A Machiavellian macho muscular merciless mentor...
A mutilating medieval malicious menacing Minotaur...
A mesmerizing metamorphic methodical maniac...
Woman: A whimsical weeping wacky wasted wanderer...
A whiny weaponed weathered wedded wife...
A wicked whiskey wasteful wiggly wench...
A wintry whiplash winded wrathful wroth...
A worried weary wishful wispy wild wire...
A wretched wormy woeful wounding wolf...
March.01.2016 ^WW^ Nothing personal...lol
Laugh
Giggle, Guffaw
Chucking, Tittering, Cackling
Joy, Mirth, Cry, Chortle
Tearing, Weeping, Sobbing
Whiny, Blubber-faced
Cachinnate
Tiny
Whiny
Shiny
Veiny
In spring birds have tiny whiny child
With skin that is shiny veiny mild
Freda's an obnoxious old woman
She‘d say loudly ‘I want it right now’
Her long suffering husband Timothy
covertly called her a bossy old cow!
Each weekend they’d both go shopping
Freda would always jump the queue,
declaring in her brash whiny voice
that she’s bursting to go to the loo!
Poor Timothy would stand there
his face turning a shade of bright red,
she’d say ‘just get on with the packing’
and give him a cuff round his head!
Last week she pushed in front of me
and then gave me such a nasty glare,
Timothy stood looking embarrassed
perhaps wishing that he wasn’t there
Still, I ended up having the last laugh
when the manager came over to me
Saying you’re our millionth customer
so everything is your trolley’s for free!
Freda jumped up and down like a banshee
exclaiming loudly that this just wasn’t fair -
that she’d ONLY swapped places with me
meaning she should’ve really been there
Timothy seethed and said shut the duck up
(Freda looked like she’s about to explode) ...
He said ‘maybe this will teach you a lesson’
and he turned on his heels with their load!
This couple no longer go shopping
(last I heard Tim’s seeking a divorce)
He’s moved back in with his mother
and spends weekends on the golf course!
Fiction Poem – just having a giggle
04/12/20