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He's Stopping Going Shopping

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Freda's an obnoxious old woman She‘d say loudly ‘I want it right now’ Her long suffering husband Timothy covertly called her a bossy old cow! Each weekend they’d both go shopping Freda would always jump the queue, declaring in her brash whiny voice that she’s bursting to go to the loo! Poor Timothy would stand there his face turning a shade of bright red, she’d say ‘just get on with the packing’ and give him a cuff round his head! Last week she pushed in front of me and then gave me such a nasty glare, Timothy stood looking embarrassed perhaps wishing that he wasn’t there Still, I ended up having the last laugh when the manager came over to me Saying you’re our millionth customer so everything is your trolley’s for free! Freda jumped up and down like a banshee exclaiming loudly that this just wasn’t fair - that she’d ONLY swapped places with me meaning she should’ve really been there Timothy seethed and said shut the duck up (Freda looked like she’s about to explode) ... He said ‘maybe this will teach you a lesson’ and he turned on his heels with their load! This couple no longer go shopping (last I heard Tim’s seeking a divorce) He’s moved back in with his mother and spends weekends on the golf course! Fiction Poem – just having a giggle 04/12/20

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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12
Date: 4/26/2020 8:09:00 PM
Hahah serves Freda right
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Date: 4/26/2020 12:48:00 PM
Back to congratulate you Jan, think this poem is terrific as I said below. Blessings, Jennifer
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Date: 4/15/2020 3:01:00 PM
Who has the last laugh :) .You won the load of your cart. Perfect my friend. Hugs Eve
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Date: 4/15/2020 2:28:00 PM
LOL, love it. There's not enough laughter in the world & your sense of fun is a real tonic. Thanks so much for the card & winning scratchcard. Have just emailed with details of my winnings (I'm afraid to mention the amount here in case I get marriage proposals, LOL). xx
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Date: 4/15/2020 12:09:00 AM
Wow the imagery here is brilliant Jan, and the situation well could it have been played out, with Benny Hill or Dave Allen? I'm sure it could. But i find the poetry, exceedingly clever, and the mood spot on, long may you reign Jan, it is wonderful poetry you turn out...Stay Save...Harry.
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Date: 4/14/2020 9:00:00 PM
It doesn't matter the genre, Jan always comes through with a winning composition. How does she do it? I wish I knew. * * * Jan, I responded to your kind comment re. "Secrets," but it apparently didn't go through. Thank you for the comment. I'm grateful for any and all words from you. Hugs xxx Paul
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Date: 4/14/2020 12:13:00 PM
you're delightful...
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Date: 4/14/2020 10:18:00 AM
I now there is a great deal of abuse of women and domestic violence is rife when people who do not love or even like each other are locked up together, but the type of woman you describe is despicable -really loved the ending my friend! Hugs and blessings Jennifer.
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Date: 4/13/2020 4:32:00 PM
Hahahahahaha! You certainly have not lost your remarkable sense of humor, my friend. Delightful! ~ Smart Shopper
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Date: 4/13/2020 2:30:00 PM
Good one Jan, nice penning and well done. Hope you're ok, keep safe and well,Blessings always,Gordon
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Date: 4/13/2020 1:36:00 PM
OMG, this one is so funny and so very easy to envision. I got A REALLY BIG CHUCKLE! Glad it's fiction ! Happy Monday xxoo
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Date: 4/12/2020 8:34:00 PM
You imagination's probably spot on...those characters exist... Happy Easter to you and yours
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/13/2020 3:08:00 AM
Thanks Arturo there certainly are some interesting characters out there!:-) happy Easter:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 6:44:00 PM
Jan, Something so familiar with this poem's protagonist Freda. I think she shops at my local supermarket. Timothy seethed and said shut the duck up (Freda looked like she’s about to explode) ...So choice...Happy Easter. -Richard
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/13/2020 3:07:00 AM
That's my fave part of the poem Richard lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 5:14:00 PM
haha, that was cute, Jan!! How is your Easter going?
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 5:21:00 PM
Easter is going fine, son loved the double easter egg I made him and the smaller one had 12 mini eggs in it lol:-) hugs Jan x
Date: 4/12/2020 3:57:00 PM
this is so much fun, jan - the perfect poem for these trying times! i love when someone gets what he/she deserves, too - justice!
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 4:49:00 PM
I just wanted to write a fun poem Ilene:-) so glad you enjoyed it:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 2:37:00 PM
This must be one of your best writes! Really well done - and funny! Congratulations! Aloha! Rico
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 2:39:00 PM
aww thanks Rico I just got this silly idea and ran with it:-) your comment has made my day in so many ways:-) happy Easter:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 2:06:00 PM
You have such a joyous and happy mind. I love everything you write! Great poem Jan!
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 2:34:00 PM
Thanks Mark I had such fun writing this and just wanted to make folk smile:-) Happy Easter:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 1:31:00 PM
Excellent, Jan. BTW, did you know the natural spoken ebglish meter (as in German) is iambic pentameter! What you bring to my lines (with or without perfect iambic pentameter – who does?) - is a rhythm fairly close to iambic pentameter. So ignore your critiques. Keep writing as you do. Thanks for the stop by. / M
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Date: 4/12/2020 1:06:00 PM
Hello Jan, She deserves to be alone. I would not want to be with anyone like this. A very good fiction. Happy Easter. Enjoy your day my friend.Hugs xx
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Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 4/13/2020 8:45:00 AM
Hello Han, it would be nice to have a trolly cart for free. I would like to have one to. Be safe. Enjoy your day my friend. Hugs Darlenexx
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 1:34:00 PM
I'm glad its fiction ... I wouldn't mind doing a trolley dash for free though lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 12:35:00 PM
- She deserved it ... the bossy old cow :))) - Love it, Jan :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 1:35:00 PM
thanks Anne-Lise it was fun to write:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 10:34:00 AM
This definitely gave me a giggle (or 10!) karma will always win in the end - at least in the hands of pens like yours!
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 1:36:00 PM
Thanks Michelle I had a fun time writing it, just trying to make folk smile:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 8:45:00 AM
What a treat, this is a lovely poem. A bright spot this morning. Happy Easter. I hope all is well JC Hawkens
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 2:14:00 PM
Thanks JC yes all fine here, happy easter:-) hugs Jan x
Date: 4/12/2020 8:31:00 AM
Oh, Jan...you made me come out of PS retirement to comment on these verses. I'm so glad you unhitched Tim and set him free of Freda. Enjoy your day!
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 2:15:00 PM
Thanks Lin it was such fun to write:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 6:27:00 AM
A prayer for a Happy Easter full of health and love is being sent your way dear poet friend. Thank you.
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 6:41:00 AM
Thanks so much sweet pixie, Happy Easter to you and your loved ones:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 4/12/2020 6:20:00 AM
Brilliant Jan, sadly selfish people like that exist. Grrr. Happy Easter Tom
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Jan Allison
Date: 4/12/2020 6:40:00 AM
Yes I've seen folk pushing in in the supermarket queues in the past but not recently as most folk seem to be taking the distancing rules seriously ...although 2 idiots got arrested yesterday and sadly our cases are still rising despite the lockdown:-( hugs Jan xx
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