Best Twaddle Poems
My slumber knows no measure...
There be no sleep for me.
The hounds are barking through the night
For immortality.
I toss them a leg of hubris
And a banal cliche for slight effect.
But their hunger goes unsated...
I lay waste my self-respect.
A few platitudes and twaddle
Are quickly gobbled by the beasts.
I make an honest effort at contrition
To give aid to my relief.
But my words of self-castration
Seem to energize the hounds.
I further try to appease and quantify...
But I'm losing precious ground.
I prostrate a harried confession.
My delusive sins are now a flood.
The wolf stands menacingly astride my door...
The beast has tasted blood.
Again... I apologize now threefold times
Using paper, pad and quill.
But it matters not to feed the beasts...
The hounds are barking still.
The End
*Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle.
Catwalks
Crowd gawks
Wont style
Forced smile
Strike pose
Fake nose
Weird strut
Flat butt
Scant curves
Unnerves
Small-hipped
Lunch skipped
Stick-thin
Chagrin
Faux tan
Pecan
Plucked brow
Used plough?
Long lash
Bleached 'tache
Plump lips
Veiled nips
Waxed mound
Astound
Forebear
Despair
Sweet girls
Morph churls
Sly pout
Grim trout
Taut thighs
All lies
Make hot
Post-shot
Airbrushed
Not hushed
Mere gaud
Defraud
Model?
Twaddle!
- - - - - - - - - -
25 November 2017
For the "Footle Form - Sequenced or Stand-Alone" contest, sponsored by Brian Strand.
It’s getting pretty deep, too much drivel and twaddle.
It’s time for our poetry boots to help with this obscene waddle.
I have two distinct sides one is known for shock and awe.
I grow weary of the hypocrites and their blah, blah, blah.
This pandemic has been hell, I’ve tried to connect each dot.
But I’ve seen another poet on a soapbox, bitter and being a snot.
Opinions are like stinky butts; everybody has got one.
Nobody is out to get you, so close your trap and just be done.
Yesterday I felt respectful, but today not so much.
You sound like a big baby in need of a tender touch.
Life is hard, deal with it and stop adding powder to the keg.
We have all been through a lot and would welcome a broken leg.
At what point in your life did you think your insults would be ok?
Maybe you should pull your head out and be mindful of what you say.
Most find me overly abrasive, but I really don’t care.
If nasty is what you want, then just keep poking at the bear.
Hey children! Listen, I miss your zeal.
The world inside your mobile is surreal.
Look up!
See, I have fixed stronger glasses on my windows,
Get hold of your cricket kit, come back on the street,
I miss watching your games.
I won’t mind, smash all my window panes.
Hackneyed messages,
Dollops of unalloyed twaddle
Tides of trifling emotions!
Baby! You are locked inside your mobile.
Look up!
See, the stadium looks so barren!
Without your mischiefs and fun,
Your irritating jibber- jabber and nonstop run.
I won’t mind, come on burst my eardrum.
Your friends, your pictures, games, tweets and stories
You live in a fantasy world, that’s absolutely unsavoury.
Step back into this beautiful life, create beautiful memories.
Look up!
Don’t waste your time and energy.
Live for a cause, get up and push back your lethargy.
Open the notebook of your life,
Fill it with love, fame and prosperity.
No matter what! You shall thrive.
Don’t be a slave to mobile,
Life isn’t a game!
Dear! You have to survive, mobiles exists just to give a little respite!
11/04/2019
Its creation’s simplicity still stands as a difficult puzzle
head is twisted backwards while in a forward motion
still looking behind at the chronicles of some centuries ago
long before the infiltration of Christian missionaries and Arab traders
is the exact factor making its existence seemingly complex.
Foreign politics and faiths both adopted,
have tied it with the ropes of inferiority
systematically indoctrinated to condemn
its history, personality and civilization,
while grabbing other languages and cultures so dearly
to the point of blindly pushed into Anarchy.
The modern world is on a high speed,
excuses of the west’s exploitations to build their civilizations
are noisy complaints and already cliched.
Small islands with no natural resources as Singapore;
the awe of the miracle of the Han River portrayed by south Korea
and the magical performance of India in information technology
are evidences of old colonies
beating their colonizers in some phases of development.
From Abuja to Addis Ababa, Khartounm to Kigali,
no Caucasian is seen, staying in charge of its state houses
but to give reasons to its mediocrity and indifference,
conspiracy theories and neo-imperialism twaddle are coined.
All these, just complications of a chronic low self esteem
but unfortunately manifesting at a time it should be confident
in the chaotic universe
of western imperialism, Christian materialism and Arab expansionism.
ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM (acrostic)
A lthough I’ve attempted some difficult and
N eddlesome poems in my decades of writing,
T he ultimate challenge had to be an acrostic
I n which the longest English word was chosen.
D eciding to undergo the absurd challenge
I delved into the history of these useless words and
S oon it became abundantly clear that
E asily the most popular of the contenders,
S hellacking Shakespeare’s ‘honorificabilitudintatibus’ and
T aught to students from kindergarden to grade twelve, was
A ntidisestablishmentarianism.
B ut sadly, there were multisyllabic monsters even
L onger, like the one we came to know and love
I n Walt Disney’s 'Mary Poppins'-
S upercalifragilisticexpialidocious- which
H as fourteen syllables and a letter count of 34.
M ost linguists agree that deciding on the longest word
E ntails whether or not you allow chemical
N ames like dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane
T ypically referred to as DDT.
A nother matter is the acceptability of lingo,
R igmarole, jargon, balderdash, twaddle and
I diomatic gibberish…
A ntidisestablishmentarianism,
N ot withstanding its pedantic appeal,
I s clearly the lexiconic choice and
S hould win the ‘Longest Word’ crown
M ade from elbow patches and Donegal tweed.
© 2009 James Rasmusson
Thankfully, the mid-term elections have come and went.
Thankfully, we'll suffer no more TV ads related to that event.
Thankfully, we'll not receive any more phone calls from politicians.
Thankfully, we'll receive no more mailers outlining their positions.
Thankfully, the prognosticators will find something more productive to do.
Thankfully, we'll hear no more political twaddle for another year or two.
Wouldn't it be novel if the promises made by those shysters came true,
Or will it be politics as usual and 'twas only undiluted scatology they spew!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
corruption, discrimination, feelings, judgement, nonsense, poets, spoken word,
ScatterBrain/ Misdeeds! ©
From my scrambled mind brews quagmires of twaddle---
I try to assimilate wisdom with lyrics….
My mouth slags ‘lost’ for proficient words ---
And fall short when none come to note!
But so many vulnerable targets lay in ear shot---
'Truths' indiscriminately slung, do injure when worded….
Only an ‘embarrassment’ is to be my reward if done ….
Endless intakes of ‘mouthed’ disbelief become outtakes---
And are ‘rooted’ for ‘non-favours’ to testimonials given…?
I step back and think ‘thrice’ before I let my ‘wits'....
Blow and pass out ‘slurred’ scatterbrained thought!
Gregg is greatly revered by his younger brother,
For his basketball shooting, skill and dexterity,
He was born Nov. 1996 in Leigh in Lancashire,
And is a 2.0 player with much junior activity.
In 2010 at Lord Taverners Nat. Junior Champs,
He was the most improved Under 15 player,
And at the GB Junior Summer Camp, amps,
He was also the most greatly improved player.
He became a part of the England North team,
In 2012, and they won Sainsbury’s School gold,
And at the Under 22 European Champs mean,
He helped to collect the bronze with his hold.
In Japan at the Kitakyushu Cup, Junior Men’s,
2014, his basketball team won the silver medal,
And in Rio they won the bronze, had gold pens:
Gregg enjoys playing drums for his twaddle.
Voyagers, convene thyselves to return, among us...
Caesura, crown nigh clod, a sylph unwept,
elision thy silhouette, meno thy minuet...
Thine late occurence on thee, wake of cerise sand
Thou belief, like a billow, upon your whitish cheek,
'Twas marina bay, her twaddle a garb of mer,
A henchman docks, thy quay, girdles stymie ebbs,
but he cannot dream aloft a dream she confers...
O'er to woo hand in hand, thou overture unto Sirocco,
Plagues thy pirate ships, quakes men with mar,
His and his only demand, an aegis for lagoons amidst...
Once deluged, sun askew above, one abyss of bagatelles
Deters a tocsin, feign mooting mammals, thy kin a boon,
Aquatica, thee damsel for diminuendos, spurns thy sire,
Her gentle mettle, calls thee, His fervor season calentures...
Aloof thy celestial kisser, nay thy nine, vim domiciles solitary
Doomed skulls ravish, an age id by ice, culls thee, for chastity,
Some may not know, we died to have our love live, over and again,
Amity vows posy littoral seaflowers, buoys colonnades of adventure...
thence, cradles await upon matins, sail thy Oceanus genesis, amen.
There was a chap hated for his twaddle.
It got so thick one could in it waddle.
Folks shut their ears
Shed no tears
And sent him into space full throttle.
Is there a beginning
or end to rue on
past,
Since I did sins,
made fools and get
lost,
I go to the police
for ravel and
politeness,
Expel out bribe, or
you may get lost,
A poor naïve man to
aristocratic man,
Rights are not same,
where I get Lost,
Am I missing or
screwed up my
thoughts,
Forget the last
listening of boss
go, get lost,
For deeds thou done
in sake of wealth,
Real beggar, a mere
fakeer finally you
get lost,
No favor for
livelihood or right
to living fakeer,
He born angel, die
fakeer and get lost,
O’er the theme of
these odes and my
passion,
They twaddle no
allocation right
here, go get lost,
I am proud if collar
and called rebel,
And sent to jail and
gallows, rest lost,
For writing beyond
cruelness to trivial
events,
Thou ruins thyself
and get lost,
Exploitation and
victimization
everywhere,
Shahid no place for
justness so get
lost.
Shahid Hussain
Chouhdry
You’re chock full of kingsize bull crap
Though female you are not a chap
A well-practiced liar
Whose pants are on fire
Your vitriol I’d love to zap
Just little things make you so ratty
You’ll spit venom, gee you’re darn catty
With a scowl and a frown
You will put good folk down
With hindsight I think you’re quite batty
Your language you need to remodel
I’m fed up of reading your twaddle
You can’t leave folk alone
Like a dog with a bone
Try using that brain in your noddle
May I offer a little advice
If you cannot say anything nice
Keep your mouth fully closed
Your bull crap’s been exposed
Go back to your fool’s paradise
King-Size Bull Crap Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Charles Messina
01/05/22
Bring me reality, spare the insanity; preening and vanity
Do.! Its purpose I’d rather gather not
Twaddle and flatter; For ..!!
Really I’m open of view.’ I don’t want TV Docs
I want info that rocks’
Can I see some groundbreaking news?
Not acres of smiles, subterfuge and all wiles
I’d really like fair enough news,
It’s all panstick and slapstick and soundbites
And asterisks’ not to mention a grimness
That’s part of the brew, it seems the
Devil’s own cauldron is stirred to a fault
On the screens that are owned by a few
Do you think there might be?
Something better to see,
Have you ever thought
That there could be? an antidote to suggestion
Of gloomy dimensions, surely
It might just so be?
Not just medics with millions
With their bosses owning zillions
Who paid for their very degree?
Remember GMO in your food from Monsanto
But I guess; that’s already old
News … a week’s not a long time in your view; or maybe mine?
But in some circles, it’s a vital in-tu; intuition.. Revision in the dark
Winter tradition' ya’ know maybe it’s all doctored views?
Hey no smiling or laughing or back slapping,
Singing or dancing.
Unless you are in on the ruse.
©Joe Maverick 30-1-2022
Weebles wobble
but they do fall down.
Once without windup whimsy weebles wobble writhing in wistful wiggly wattles,
they bubble, bobble, boggle, bottle and boondoggle coddles and dawdles;
a colossal ensemble debacle joggles and toggles the toddler's throttle
waiting on wafting waffles the twaddle and goggling the toppled pottles.
Just google that old fossil's nozzle schnozzled squabble.
Tongue twister:
without windup whimsy weebles wobble writhing in wistful wiggly wattles