Best Smalls Poems
A is for a**l
B is for balls
Share them or wear them
Tucked up in your smalls
C is for condoms
Of all shapes and sizes
D is for dicks
Made of chocolate for prizes
E is for enlarging erections
Oh wow!
F is for fig leaves
Worn you know how
G is for G string
Oooh very nice
H is for handcuffs
Double locked twice
I is for indecent
That sums it up
J is for juices
And not in a cup
K is for kinky
Whatever the weather
L is for lust, libido and leather
M is for mask, massage and minge
N is for naughty
Making me cringe
O is for oral
Taken at leisure
P is for pervert, ****, pimp and pleasure
Q is for quickie
If that is your need
R is for rampant rabbit
One you won't have to feed
S is for S and M
With shackles thrown in
T is for torture
Oh such a sin
U is for urinate
Some folk just love it
V is for vibrator
You know where to shove it
W is for whores, whips, willies and wellies
X is for x rated **** on your tellies
Y is for yeast
Well it does make bread rise!
And Z, well I'm f****d
So I'll say my goodbyes!
Categories:
smalls, funny,
Form:
ABC
Poor Frosty was built upside down
and quickly he’s talk of the town
He’s not wearing his smalls
so folks see his snowballs -
his smile soon turns into a frown!
When Santa learns of Frosty’s plight
he orders some work late that night
So his wife Mrs Clause
knits Frosty some new drawers -
but his ‘carrot’ doesn’t hang right!
*drawers classed as one syllable as per the UK pronunciation of the word
Both limericks 8,8,6,6,8
Christmas Limericks Old or New Contest
Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire
Edited
11/30/18
Categories:
smalls, christmas, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
God, I have a prayer for you today.
It’s just from me, but please hear what I have to say.
Millions are being abandoned, starved and soon alone, where some in Ukraine are still free to roam.
Children are becoming hungry, helpless and alone.
Give them bravery, messengers of God,
imaginary staffs and protective rods.
(Psalm 23)
Our leader’s horrible disdain has caused many to join The Hopeless Train.
Beg your angels to collect their pain.
Smalls tears are turning into puddles of fears.
Guardian angels, Ukraine needs protection, guidance and love,
hope, reassurance and your spiritual hugs,
from all your celestial beings above.
To my Deedoosh and my Babusys hold each other tight.
Hnhely, we pray for you today and tonight.
To Germany, Danke
Great Britain, Much obliged
Sweden, Tack
France, Merci
New York City, Thank you
And The United Kingdom.... our freedom.
Keep Ukraine’s enemies away.
From those on TV and those who are evil, far away.
President Zelensky my hope for you,
End the war for Ukrainian’s families,
Stand strong,
believe the world will right this wrong.
"Keep rising, keep moving, your silence is the loudest response"
Help Ukrainians to be brave in the face of fear.
People are trying to support you far and near.
Unite us together
and please now forever.
God, you listened to my prayer today, thank you for hearing what I had to say.
Categories:
smalls, friendship love, pain, prayer,
Form:
Rhyme
She smiles
and considers the crowd,
all backward somersaulting
detached vagabonds, all,
serious soft smalls revealed -
marshmallows imbued
with the glee of writing
irregular poetry;
works of art thou art,
thou art, thou art, all indeed -
and what did Dickinson say,
“the Maples never knew
that you were coming -
I declare, how red
their faces grew” -
well, we all march on,
and by the side of our roads,
the righteous town criers
of prognostication, stand
their grounds for commentary,
like sensate servile monks
full of the base sound facts,
ringing their shellac bells,
like an exercise in pulling weights;
the waits inside their cries foretell,
of the things we do not know,
will never know,
like the bride we all are,
gullible, innocent of what is to come,
but we dance our dance
flirting with luscious life
beckoning come hither,
we still write our own vows,
and throw our skirts asunder,
spinning bottles, all undressed
half addressed half said,
punctilious lost in
wayward pentameter,
such bad whirling dervish
behaviour,
truth and dare
and Father Time
will kiss and tell
we poetically march on
we all march on
we think we know
which side we're on
Candide Diderot. ‘24
“All those Hills you left for me to Hue,
There was no Purple suitable -
You took it all with you.
Who knocks? That April.
Lock the Door -
I will not be pursued”
Emily Dickinson. March.
Categories:
smalls, humanity, journey, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
Where art thou hip hop chosen ones
I went around corners of the globe can't see you
Arise, shine and give us more music
The base you set was classic
Pac could say 'we still breathing'
I wonders what this is meaning
Perhaps you hiding somewhere
but fans misses you everywhere
Because you vanished without goodbye
Breath in silence those words of encouragement
Chant with the jubilant disciples
The Big Punisher you quite on your sleep
But your lyrics still run deep
into the vein of diehards
Biggy Smalls do you hear me?
I know you still the Big Poppa over there
For your lines didn't spare
unruly, malicious criticism
Sometimes your performance hypnotize me
How can I forget the great Nate Dogg?
The maestro whose golden voice
Could awake the sleeping dog
With that in mind 'I better lay low''
His legacy I ought to follow
Guru ' The Gangstarr' you smile when I mention you
Keep your head out of your mouth
Whilst the hero spits out
in his eternal sleep between the clouds
Leaving out left eye and Easy B counts this piece incomplete
'cause the relevant contribution still rocks
Airwaves furious without your voice
Fans at the downtown blocks
considers your presence a necessary vice
Categories:
smalls, analogy,
Form:
Chant Royal
Fred Astaire was king of tap
Biggie Smalls was huge in rap
Carson (Johnny)ruled TV
Dylan’s songs are poetry
Elvis made the girls all swoon
Frank Sinatra loved to croon
Greta Garbo hid from sight
Hitchcock gave us all a fright
Isaac Hayes’ voice dips low
Johnny Depp steals every show
Kenny G can blow that sax
Larry David can’t relax
Michael Jackson changed his face
Norah Jones embodies grace
Oscar Wilde wrote books and plays
Peter Falk had piercing gaze
Quincy Jones finds music stars
Raitt (That's Bonnie) rocks guitars
Sally Field lights up the screen
Tony Kushner nails each scene
Uma Thurman makes men drool
Viggo’s talented and cool
William Shatner’s still around
Xin Xin Xiong in films is found
Yoko Ono married John
Zach Braff’s big on Amazon
All this talent, A to Z
Keeps us entertained, agree?
for Cyndi MacMillan's ABC Couplet contest
Categories:
smalls, art, people,
Form:
Couplet
Folks stare
He’s bare!
No smalls
Cold balls!
Chilly
Willy
Teeny
Weeny
Dinky
Winkie
Fig leaf
Relief!
03~20~17
Categories:
smalls, beach, body, holiday, humorous,
Form:
Footle
"Alpha Mnemonic"
Word
Image
without the image
no word
Language
a disease
communicable
by mouth
Alpha from brain
Omega passed
on her tongue
to yours
Ancient codex
genetically kissed
dispersed with
music intonation
gutteral
romantic
cerebral
never rehearsed
language
a virus formed
Mnemonic
from where exactly,
Within?
ad lib
ad lucem
ad libitum
from somewhere
other birthed
codex ancient
Alpha alien
genetic
hive driven
we are observed
writhing in our smalls
amphibian brained
we are still
loud embryos
clashing and clinging
unjust
we are
just learning exotic
movements
within our
blue pitri plate
circular in motion
we are agitated
not calm, chasing long versed
pre-recorded, re-rehearsed tales
a breath blown over us
language divides us
in love and belief
a disease
we are
we think
we speak
we spread
our languages
communicable
by eyes that
envision dreams
of others within
we are not knowing
with clandestined
futures and
over-ripe mouths
to succour
we simulate
ad lib
ad lucem
ad libitum
sensual
cold
science
hot and feverish
we lie
in bed
with irreverent
romantic fate
Omega
ohm resistant
high voltage
across the conductor
Always equal
Metaphors of unity
become
the Sequel
Blissfully ignorant
Ripe Red currents
juiced up and
Blue buries itself
warm palmed
on a soft beating breast
Ideology and
Romance
arrive
late
Memory
lost in the
Alpha
Mnemonic
Stuck in
the warm
and sticky
we grow cold
(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)
"Language is a Virus" / Laurie Anderson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIOnODxUTZQ
Categories:
smalls, blue, humanity, imagery, language,
Form:
Free verse
The poets from Yorkshire are best
That’s where I come from – you’ve guessed.
Though our words can get tangled
Like your smalls in the mangle
Phew! – That’s quite a load off my chest!
Categories:
smalls, fun,
Form:
Limerick
there was these woods as a kid that always gave me chills
full of trees and rocks,ponds and hills
there were more things lurking that in the forest
snakes hanging from trees ,wolves howling in chores
i couldn't help thinking that those were unholy grounds
always feared entering due to frighting sounds
then there was always this bonechillin breeze
constantly have you thinking that someone was hiding behind the trees
at night you could hear the different monsters as they creep
listen closely you'll hear the pounding sounds of giant feet's
just the dreary darkness gave me quite the scare
so i never cared to know what was really out there
but here i am i'm back now
and i must overcome my fear of those woods somehow
just one more fear , i know i can kick it
and i found out those woods were just some thickets
alot of tall grass and a few smalls trees
and those snakes hanging were just funny looking leaves
i geuss i imagine all those creepy sounds
for there was nothing but coons and dogs running around
there were pine cones falling and the flapping wings of birds
and that small creek cant be all the water i heard
well i guess those woods don't scare me like they did
cause i see much clearer now than when i was a kid!!!!!!!!
Categories:
smalls, visionary, me, fear, me,
Form:
Monorhyme
"Fly"
Enigma
Out of nowhere
his voices arrived
He thought he’d
write a poem
Senryu
get the In to the Outside
Simple magic
3 lines
Mind erect
his smalls itched
freeze
dried
His mind CPTSD
crying lied
Laughing outside
he watched his inside
Hanging unwanted questions
out on the literary clothes line
snapped tight then closed
by all the wooden clothes pegs
crying
no colour in their lines
bingo
POTD delivered
applied
He’s dressed in
Gold Lamé
Sacrificial
bright
But they spit him out
he’s too Blue dyed
Easy
release
he came for a while
he cried
They nodded knowingly
they smiled
He was an Anomaly
Not part of their mouse-clicking pride
They all wanted
a pretty reliable Relatable
just like them
Tie-Dyed
He was an annoying
buzzing fly
Less than equal
they ignored his
Soul
Sigh
He was a treasure box of pearls
spilling before swine
(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)
"Joker"
https://youtu.be/uzWv8m-it3Q
"Vision & Fury", humanising the Villain
https://youtu.be/cKpjCJlZViQ
International Suicide Hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Categories:
smalls, dark, image, psychological,
Form:
Free verse
They prepared a squad to ambush
On hairy forests of a human head.
Things were well planned to push
The army on the murky skin-bed.
Army of Lice marched on warily
Towards the places assigned to all.
They had to peep everywhere slyly
Lest they are knocked by Fingernail.
The Larger ones are the commanders
Of this momentous Guerrilla attack.
Smalls will follow forgetting Slanders
And battle with guts, work in Pack.
They furrow the skin to make Trench
So that they can fight and stay secure.
Some would plunge in them to drench
Themselves in the blood for adventure.
These Lice have a Mission to fulfill.
They make slices of nice hair with
Their teeth of Vice like stinging Eel
Or Mice, with ruthless urge beneath.
They have attacked on the Two-footed,
Some would hide and ambush at once,
Some hang by hair until it’s uprooted.
All they do is sip, sting, cling, flounce.
Categories:
smalls, adventure, animals, funny, hair,
Form:
Light Verse
bougainvillea vine
tendrils crept up balcony
t’was our washing line!
Inspired by but not for Contest
100% true story no poetic licence at all!
Many years ago my parents had a villa in Spain, my sister and I would go and stay. We’d wash our smalls and swimming costumes and drape them on the balcony wall to dry. One windy day we discovered them adorning the Bougainvillea. It hadn’t escaped our neighbour Zac’s notice and from that day on it was known as ‘the knicker tree’
3/23/19
Categories:
smalls, clothes, flower, humorous,
Form:
Haiku
Poor Frosty was built upside down
And quickly he’s talk of the town
He is not wearing smalls -
People see his snowballs!
His smile has turned into a frown!
Upside down world Contest
Sponsored by Eve Roper
12-23-17
Categories:
smalls, humorous, snow,
Form:
Limerick
-
Roger the lodger a thai boxer to throat
Trained in the evening with stick from a boat
He thought of apartment from me he did rent
But hated the neighbours on them he would vent
His rent was fair paid but I wondered a lot
His work was quite sketchy and differed in plot
Driving Instruction together with fight
Gave him a nice living but gave him no wife.
Alsations a barking by day and by night
No sleep was a gained and temper was tight
His stick he brought round to poke through the pane
And whack a steel wardrobe to frighten and blame
He hardly could bear the stench of the dogs
No bones were removed and stank of brown bogs
Bleached their whole garden when neighbours were out
And burnt all the timbers that ward off the louts
And finally once in a shopping mall scene
Could handle no more could only be mean
The neighbour was out buying his smalls
So punched in the face and put wheel chair wa Floored
(Sad but True)
Categories:
smalls, people
Form: