Best Sleekest Poems
Armadilly came galloping into Troll Lake, bent on seeking a new life, to unwind.
He’d rode out of the Badlands, leaving only a trail of blowing dust and leaves, behind.
His steady stead Jalopy had been pounding feet, relentlessly with powerful strides.
Rearing up, Armadilly stopped before our Troll Bridge with his slingshot at his side.
I could see, he rode the sleekest mount, and the biggest tortoise, that I had ever seen.
Man that armadillo knew his tortoise flesh… this was the fastest one, ever been!
I would say: he truly looked, the devil’s mount… with glowing, fire stocked eyes.
The stranger named himself as Armadilly, but his true identity, could not be denied.
He was really Armadilly Billy, The Slingshot Kidster, as he bowed to us, so very low.
With a yes Ma'am, and a no Sir, he was smooth and could charm, near any old soul.
The Trolls loved him for the spell binding stories, that at the campfire, he gave away.
He never talked about his past, but we knew who he was, without being told, that day.
The rumor had it that Sheriff Bunny Garret had shot him dead, on one fateful day.
Another said he’d faked his death, heading south to Mexico, his life to live away.
But we knew better, for he was here with us, right now, on this illustrious day.
We knew he was a kind and misunderstood guy, because of what I’m about to say.
He saved our squirrel, Funkundilly, from a hawk diving straight for her, inward bound.
With his slingshot, like streaked lightening, he forced the hawk to spiral to the ground.
And we all applauded that Funkundilly was now, once again, so very safe and sound.
Then he strode, spurs a jangling, to dish out his own type of justice, so very renowned.
With a steely glint in his eye, he ordered the hawk away, or meet his end, he did convey.
And you can say that frightened bully hawk, really high tailed it, as he ran away.
Everyone celebrated that night, with Armadilly, all the way to dawn’s embrace.
Before he left, Armadilly knew from then on, he’d always have a home in this place.
But his mind was set on a wandering, more of this world’s adventures, to unweave.
So with a HiHo! Jalopy! He took off, leaving in another cloud of dust and leaves.
But I heard him shout that he’d be back again, soon…
And we were sure, that’s just what he would do!
Inspired by Silly Billy the Kidster's--- Billy the Kid Blog
An epic poem by Carol Eastman
Been feeling a bit extra strange today
Can't imagine what's the reason
My tightie whities must be a little too tight
Think lately, I'm overeating
3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my diet plan has been a bit of a failure
Was trying hard to be my sleekest
I do possess other redeeming factors
I can stand on my head and spit nickels
Not impressed? Then how about this
I can whistle through my nipples
It all comes back to my tightie whities
The sooner I change 'em the better
Think I'll started wearing airy clown pants
With polka dots, numbers and letters
Say hello when the circus comes to town
You won't miss me, that is for sure
Especially with the big red nose I'll be wearing
Looking oh so extremely mature!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Lady you are my
life, my closest
dearest girl.
You complete me,
you're my precious
pearl.
Your loving eyes,
smooth my rough
edges.
To you I give my
heart, my love
pledges.
In your arms, I find
sweet warm solace.
Your love gives me
rest, from the rat
race.
You hold me close,
then whisper in my
ear.
Tender words that
soothe, relax my
soul all year.
Would that to you, I
could give untold
riches.
To you the best
garments, with the
fanciest stitches.
I would buy for you
dearest , the
shiniest sleekest
car,
Gifts sent for you
every day, cause
you're a superstar.
No other ever could
hope to match you,
no comparison.
You are my fortress,
my castle, my strong
garrison.
Yet you say "Phew"
to all these things,
"You needn't
bother."
My great love, you
are indeed the
perfect MOTHER.
Been feeling a bit extra strange today
Really can't imagine the reason
My tightie whities must be a little tight
Think lately, I'm overeating
3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my diet has been a bit of a failure
Was trying hard to be my sleekest
I do possess other redeeming factors
I can stand on my head and spit nickels
Not impressed? Then how about this
Can whistle a tune through my nipples
It all comes back to my tightie whities
The sooner I change 'em the better
Think I'll convert to airy clown pants
With polka dots, numbers and letters
Say hello when the circus comes to town
Can't miss me, that's for sure
With the big red nose I'll be wearing
Looking so mature!
Fastidious gildings must dot your mien:
Sizzling lips that ooze unbridled charm,
And a neck sleekest with angelic luster
To daze the eye and sun a smitten arm.
Still deeper graces beyond corporeal eye
Shall your gold’s stoutest bulwarks prove:
A mind pliable into another’s loftier ideal,
A heart malleable to wit’s forging groove.
A full stock of sly eccentricities to baulk
Pert overstepping darts round the clock;
And a placating vocular chime that tells
Time’s tick better than poor-piping bells.
A hope that dares azure's illest signs;
Turning gaffes into leaps onto higher
Insights purer than filtered science,
Dwarfing Fate and her fiendish fire.
And shall all these bejeweled traits
Sure lie within one maiden’s tastes,
And finally match the magic gleams
Of that fairy gal I see in my dreams?
In debonair, burnt-orange, fur cloak
You trot your preened tail in front of the men folk
Nose pointed skyward prowling for a free dinner after dark
Your prickly ears snare every sensual bark
Squinty eyes reflect the sleekest of movements
With soft, silky prance; you parade your flossy accoutrements
Until spotting a virile, unsuspecting suitor
Your animalistic hunger will your wary maven tame and tutor
Forthwith, wrapping your seductive paws around every seamless border
Your fawning tongue feasts on every truant part in short order
Then dragging the drained prey back to your temporal den
Smacking your satiated lips you howl and grin
Tears turned to smile as I sat still
As a wind of fresh breath blew
Those memories that rushed my mind
As Right out of the blue
He came upto me ,held my hand
And stared a moment two
And In the sleekest feeble voice
He said “ Mum I lub hoo”
Ten years spun into ballooning wear
Keep slipping through tighter fingers,
Fresh year's tries in futility repair
Adamant dents of wasting days.
Naive New Year's Eves pop in and go
In swift succession of dying dreams,
Most astute labors bootless bow;
Giving up more rewarding seems.
No tiny stone now unturned remains,
Yet progress-freezing agues fetid ail;
Stinging more than adder's fang ever sunk
Into most luck-lacking lamb's sleekest tail.
Expressionless Heaven looks on still,
As basest ills and brutish hell as one
Choke to death firmest hope's last ray;
As faith fruitless toils beneath the sun.
I love my diet, rich in protein,
Of snakes, squirrels, doves, and rabbits most lean.
I tell you this, and I am on the square,
Furry mammals delight beyond compare.
The swiftest, sleekest raptor in the sky,
I soar wide, circling with the sharpest eye.
As feathered death I swooped upon my prey,
But the rat found a hole and got away.
As Taloned Fate I still search and survey,
For careless critters to feast on today.
She was the slickest sleekest cheek-est, happiest black cat.
Raised by a barn full of black cows and an ebony bat.
Her destination of choice was always Halloween night.
She sat in the pumpkin grove and stayed out of sight.
We did not hear any meows or howls or growls from this cat.
She was a persnickety feline with attitude and I mean plenty of that.
The pumpkins hid her well throughout this October night.
In their protective patch the happiest cat was simply “out of sight.”
Feeling a bit extra strange today
Really can't imagine the reason
Tightie whities maybe a little too tight
Think maybe I'm overeating
3X most likely is my new size now
Please keep this our little secret
Sadly my diet plan has been a failure
Was trying hard to be my sleekest
I do possess other redeeming factors
I can stand on my head and spit nickels
Not impressed? Then how about this
Can whistle a tune through my nipples
It all comes back to my tightie whities
The sooner I change 'em the better
Think I'll convert to airy clown pants
With polka dots, numbers and letters
Say hello when the circus comes to town
Can't miss me that's for damn sure
With the big red nose I'll be wearing
Looking so very mature!