Best Slapping Poems
If I was an octopus I could slap eight people at once
Whatta creative mind I have, just realized it last month
Might partly be my diet
More people should try it
Might lose friends but think of how peaceful you'd become
Mother asked her big brother to pass the sugar;
big brother ruined it by splashing on liquor;
father rued spilt liquor by throwing his jigger
that hit sister who lit an elbow hard slammer
straight into the hand of their rare guest and butcher;
butcher stood to secure a full-face slap on her;
slap missed, striking their napping, fat cat to a blurred
flying fur on shriek tour that dog crashed with claws bore;
clawed dog wailed and bailed, dragging tail out wee dog door
where he ran to distance pain until a looper
stopped his scooter – close by was one giant cougar;
too pooped to care, tired dog flopped right then and right there;
dog closed eyes, cougar cleared throat, then croaked, ‘Hey, Lassie,
are you insanely blind to cougar claw lugers?’;
dog moaned, ‘A quick cougar corker beats home murder.’
Welcome signs spreads dah floor_
And here I stand just before.
There’s Happy people inside therein_
It's soon to open_ don't know when.
Peeping through dah peephole
waving to dah crowd_
doing my best_ not ta get loud.
I keep-a ringing dah doorbell_
could give a shout er yell;
darn things' a'working_
as far as I give tell.
Welcome signs spreads dah floor_
And here I stand just before.
There’s Happy people inside therein_
It's soon to open_ don't know when.
Seeing through dah win'da and whaddaya know_
They’s doing the limbo and dah dirty disco.
Musics' a'playing_ They’s a'dancing the jig
Ole man Thomas' bout to lose his wig.
There’s and ole friend o mine.
chugg-in on tasty moon shine_
while sipping Pete's brandy wine.
N starr-in at dah pretties n fine
Welcome signs spreads dah floor_
And here I stand just before.
There’s Happy people inside therein_
It's soon to open_ don't know when.
Aww smokes alive_ They got Toro cigars_
see-em plucking ashes in dah ole fruit jar_
n havin knee slappin funnin at dah end of dah bar.
Oh darnit to devil_ my unlucky stars
cain't they hear me bangin so_
won't be long_ but I don't know.
Its been a while now just a bit_
Lets turn the knob or jiggle it.
Welcome signs spreads dah floor_
And here I stand just before.
There’s Happy people inside therein_
It's soon to open_ don't know when.
Porch light shi-nin clean in my face_
what's dah password ta-git in dis place?
I can do dah tap, dah twist and dah flip_
Can I pleeease come in for just a sip.
Guard dogs a'barkin all dis time_
Inclined to become friends o mine.
Open up _if you’d be so kind
Or is membership here’s by strange design?
Welcome signs spreads dah floor_
And here I stand just before.
Why I keep a'knocking_ just what for?
Cuz whatever I do_ they just ignore.
it loves me
it loves me not
this ball of id and fiery snot
bleet bleet bleet
the runt of life
this shallow sheep
stomping Gossomer mice.
Eating shadows keeping score
a sagging Teet
a dripping bore.
The game is up, the pinball tilts
this tired game of slag and silt.
It loves me
It loves me not
this ball of id and fiery snot.
he's been there doing that for
about twenty minutes
it's both palms on both
face pastries
he was here the other day
laptop in front of him
bopping and biffing
like in a boat race
chronic stress? enervation?
or giving the epidermis
something to think about
sod retinoids and clarins
maybe the brain is fusty
needs a few yawns too
like the sound of an alaskan
salmon against sham praise
is this the future? when i'm gone
on buses, trains, offices
a democratic spanking
Red thier Hips, Taxsation without representation, Invited for
dinner, How dare you, remenber for her children, daughter
outlaw in west, Ride them cowboys ride, deep is their voice
The rangers ride high and fast Ten commanments out of
the courtroom no prayer the babies cries in 1965, Mothers transference
in the mirror once again, remenber mothers day, the geen green
grass of home in valley of cold cold months of the government
the summer and fall and winter warm in 2006 some say that
they have seen angels in the warmed of their arms laids a creator.
fourth of July to sum is his brithday we all ready have a lunch.
Blast and all. Oil bills cheat, in Libertys arms in the stars well
ones out. By burning bush of Moses