Dining With Dysfunction

Mother asked her big brother to pass the sugar; big brother ruined it by splashing on liquor; father rued spilt liquor by throwing his jigger that hit sister who lit an elbow hard slammer straight into the hand of their rare guest and butcher; butcher stood to secure a full-face slap on her; slap missed, striking their napping, fat cat to a blurred flying fur on shriek tour that dog crashed with claws bore; clawed dog wailed and bailed, dragging tail out wee dog door where he ran to distance pain until a looper stopped his scooter – close by was one giant cougar; too pooped to care, tired dog flopped right then and right there; dog closed eyes, cougar cleared throat, then croaked, ‘Hey, Lassie, are you insanely blind to cougar claw lugers?’; dog moaned, ‘A quick cougar corker beats home murder.’