Best Shortage Poems
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…
No tears, no complaints, far cheaper than gasoline!
7/21/202.
~ 1 ~
Water Shortage
I have seen the future
Water famine and revolutions
Wars over water,
No not the kind of balloons
Of water people throw at
Each other, nor
A wet t. shirt competition,
But real war with blood that
Runs into dry gutters
Rustlers who kill animals for
Their blood and leave carcasses
To rot in the field.
Chilled blood with a chaser of water
Only the rich can afford.
The unwashed masses, with
Plastic Jerry cans, overturning
Water tankers, shower units
Have been dismantled.
Yes, I have seen the future and it stinks.
Manufacturing mistakes or fragrant fraud
Decide for yourself but the produce is flawed
Average contents fifty, on this match box of mine
But when I counted, their was only forty nine
If they sold a million match box a day, with one match short
That’s a million matches saved, theirs a thought
Misery
A box of headache pills with half the box blanks
That is enough to give you a headache, many thanks
Misery
Polo, the mint with the hole
All that mint saved by not making it a whole
Misery
Call me Ebaneezer but hold your horses please
Mints with holes and they do the same with cheese
Misery
My wife bought some skinless sausages
The pack said “Thirty Sausage” produced online
She counted them three times
There was only twenty nine
Misery
I think it is a deliberate, food production play
To cut the people short, you don’t get for what you pay
Go to your food store and pull something out to count
Just to see, if you get the right amount
Misery
Sponsored by Edward Ibeh
1/1/2019
The Coming Bacon Shortage
By Elton Camp
Even though the press release was mistaken,
It told of an unavoidable shortage of bacon
Then when it was picked up on the Internet,
Loads of worldwide publicity it did get
That fat & cholesterol they won’t be getting
To many folks was just terribly upsetting
The corn crop was damaged by drought
Is what the press release was really about
In fact, bacon in the stores will still be there
But folks may have to pay more than they care
However, because bacon prices will rise
Is why no shortage will come by surprise
Shortage is when there actually isn’t enough
High prices means folks eat less of the stuff
This creates balance between supply & demand
So, in reality, there is no bacon shortage at hand
Yet many people began to panic and to growl
When the Internet created a most baseless howl
Bar none, no shortage of soap shampoo, nor detergent
Courtesy food pantries
Saint Eleanor's Saint Mary's,
Our Daily Bread,
the missus and yours truly (her spouse)
well stocked with good n plenti of
soap, shampoo and detergent.
Spongebob squarepants
would be in seventh heaven,
where sudsy clouds (resembling
Mister Krabs, Plankton,
Sandy Cheeks, Squidward, et cetera),
would drift across celestial vault.
Gratitude bequeathed to prophets of virtue
benevolent good samaritans
who trend righteous true
to the calling of helping hands who renew
faith (mine) in goodness of humanity
assisting not only yours truly
and the missus, but people
from South American country named Peru
or even indigenous tribes
accorded recognition comprising
population of inhabitants occupying New
Zealand, offered reparations
under the Treaty of Waitangi,
a process of reparation allowed
Maori to be fully recognized
at political level in lieu
of unfair practices inflicted upon
original occupant loosely similar
to descendents of long lost tribes of Israel,
endowed with (pure tin) pride
wishing I too could call myself proud Jew,
nevertheless attraction manifests destiny
(mine) someday to learn Hebrew.
Courtesy atheism more so Unitarianism,
I need not adopt
an explicit dogmatic, fanatic, humanistic...,
lunatic, narcissistic, puritanic... paradigm,
but only tout poetic justice (mine)
to recognize laudable traits
linkedin to orthodox faiths,
albeit rationalistic rubric
that caters to selflessness
for no other reason
than allowing, enabling, and promoting
random acts of kindness
without any forthcoming great expectation
downplaying remuneration,
no matter destitution begot mein kampf
hard times living within bleak house
slight hyperbolic exaggeration
poor as a cheesy church mouse poet.
Lemme coast to a fitting conclusion
bringing reasonable rhyming blather
originating courtesy me noggin,
within which wool doth gather
thus I a halt and
dial down philosophical lather,
cuz most likely
ye dear reader would rather
experience palmolive oil slather
preparatory to full body massage.
Revenue Shortage
Pillage
Village
Millage
Usage
Slippery men, pillage village books.
Breaker of trust, millage, usage crooks.
© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
March 16, 2010
Poetic form: Tyburn
worms burying deep
robins no longer forage
food supply shortage
Written September 11, 2022
Velveeta Shortage Alarms Consumers
By Elton Camp
Short supply is beginning to ensure
Cheese lovers don’t know what to do
There’s panic buying in the store
Unsure when they’ll be any more
Velveeta’s so good and healthy too
Gourmets are hoping it’s not true
So all who love its rubbery taste
Rush to the market with all haste
There’s good reason to fear
From shelves it’ll disappear
So better quickly shove and grab
To take as yours that final slab
The shortage is real and severe
Sans Velveeta, life will be austere
weighing curds and whey
the spider spied, her courage
curdled, ran away
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another alliterative haiku for you
Water shortage
In the deepest valley where the winter is short
summers long, sheep come home for safety
of bears and wolves, he bought an old house.
From a two hundred years house, a cane roof sprung
splendid isolation he lived the seasons fair.
Unknow to him and other dwellers of this Paradise
plans afoot to make the valley into a water reservoir
filling it with water to serve the city far away.
This ancient village, built stone by stone, drowned.
No, the dam didn’t burst lack of rain made it dry.
It was an eerie sight to see his home again
reminds him of a Paradise lost to development.
No baby formula here or there.
No baby formula anywhere.
I guess the babies will have to go back to the breast.
But wait a second, the mommies are out of the nest.
The mommies are working to pay for the baby food.
The daddies are parenting, it puts them in a really bad mood.
Baby formula had better be forthcoming soon.
The parents of babies are ready to fly to the moon.
1,
It's hard to stretch my check through the whole month
When just paying bills feels like a triumph.
I always work away for meager pay
Clocking in eight great hours ev'ry day!
I'm gliding now into the fourth long week
With no money left, there's still food to seek.
I look for every coin in my pocket,
While next door, someone pawns her gold locket.
I'll eat a bag of peanuts to get by,
'Cause their bit of protein does help me thrive.
I'm hoping that they do not cut the gas
Because the stove's gonna turn too cold fast.
It's worse to lose the electricity
Since I couldn't finish my school studies.
2.
It seems we're due for one big debt bubble,
And when it bursts, we're bound for real trouble.
Or maybe fortunes built on sand go bad.
While some people spend ev'ry cent they've had.
Living on junk food would not be healthy.
Eating that way is not for the wealthy.
How can we, the poor, still cut our corners
When there's no hot food on kitchen burners?
People need money to cover lunch food,
And streaming subscriptions must be renewed.
No one wishes to accept a handout
We pay debt on time to get a shout-out!
We're now embracing Minimalism,
Eating healthy for metabolism!
We may be nuked by Russia,
As we have plentiful gas here!
Ukrainians, Russians, dying under
horror and pressure.
While inflation, keeps rising and
America sits on her rear!
Xi warned Biden, “ do not sanction
us!’ Yet our entire free world is at stake.
But our President thinks, it is far too
much of a fuss.
Some cold soul in our Congress,
Said, ‘just take a bus?”
Not every city has huge bus lines that
run day and night.
While Congress thinks of nothing?
Flying thousands of miles to get home.
leaving Americans in a plight!
3-22-2022
There once was a shortage on coins
In a coinless town call, DE Moines
Paper money was all
It was stack six feet tall
Seeing it, made others shook in their loins
There's a water shortage in countries,
especially where there's strife,
and air conditioning is needed,
to lead a pleasant life.
We also have bone-dry Bermuda
where, except for 5" monthly rainfall,
collected in cisterns or brought by tanker ship,
there's no water to be had at all.
Attempting to inform the people in power,
an endeavour which failed of course,
what every island AC emits,
and it's their free drinking source.
As AC units create water naturally,
on average 5 to 20 gallons
of condensate per day,
producing H2O from humidity,
it's a crime to let it waste away.
It may be but a drop in the bucket,
and yet, place a clean container,
when the unit is switched on,
to collect the drips
of distilled water, safe to imbibe,
below the condensation drain,
and you may have a million sips
again and again and again.