Best Shark Poems
There's a shark lurking in the soup they say
With sharp teeth ready to strike any day
Our pens remain our best weapons
No matter what the shark threatens
We will just write more to send him away
12/27/18
I once was here, then in the blue ocean,
I once was dry, then thrown into commotion.
I had no clue, for I was in the complete dark,
but I was becoming a GREAT WHITE SHARK!
Just a wee baby was I at five feet in length,
I have a dozen siblings all in great strength.
I’m just a pup who swam away from his mother,
trying to hide from prey with my little brother.
Now I’ve grown fifteen feet long as I’m older,
I’ve become more vicious and completely bolder.
I can swim fifteen miles per hour with my dorsal fin,
I’m top of the food chain as my speed always wins.
I’ve become a predator expected to hunt food,
but during the winter days I’m not in the mood.
I really fear humans who fear me even more,
for it is actually sea lions and small whales that I adore.
I can’t believe the adrenaline rush that I need,
as I rip apart marine animals for my feed.
My agitation today became stronger than ever,
as I went on my greatest and best endeavor.
My torpedo shaped body and my stable tail,
help me escape from a pack of killer whales.
They tried to tip me over and become catatonic,
it makes me fall asleep in a state of hypnotic.
My life has never been better on this journey I embark,
for I have become a predatory GREAT WHITE SHARK!
I chose: Becoming a Great White Shark
April 9, 2017
By Elton Camp
Animal rights groups are in an uproar
They don’t want to hear of it anymore
While swimming, a shark came around
Into its fin, his teeth he viciously ground
He said shark fin soup was his best treat
One that he took every occasion to eat
They said the shark was in his own habitat
And that nothing could be wrong about that
The man, they wanted to be put away
In a prison cell, for many years to decay
“A shark’s life is very precious to us.
That’s why we are raising such a fuss.”
“We can’t see why it’s hard to understand.
Animal life is fully equal to that of a man.”
The animal lovers came down to the beach
A lesson in caring there to publicly teach
They offered the shark a tasty treat
But found he preferred human meat
The animals rights folks he dragged away
No more about cruelty did they have to say
There’s a shark in my soup
Sat down at the bowl
just about to begin
When what did I see
but a little gray fin
Swimming around
and making a loop
A strange sight to see
down there in my soup
I reached for the can
just couldn’t resist
I needed to check
the ingredient list
Noodles and chicken
and carrots it read
Celery, spices
was all that it said
I looked down again
and now I could see
A mouth full of teeth
that were grinning at me
Two beady eyes
and a tail at the back
It seemed that my soup
was about to attack
So quickly I reached
and grabbed for my spoon
The whole time just wishing
it was a harpoon
I stabbed and I splashed
then I had to regroup
And yelled for my mom
“There’s a shark in my soup!”
It’s then that she shook me
I opened my eyes
It didn’t take long
for me to realize
That I was asleep
laying safe in my bed
That shark in my soup
it was all in my head
She said, “I’m so sorry
you had a bad dream
How about I go get you
a bowl of Ice Cream”
I answered her, “Yes,
that would be really great
But instead of a bowl
could you just use a plate”
Written for: Shark in the soup Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Anthony Slausen
My Pet Shark
I took my pet shark to the swimming pool
To help him learn to swim.
Now my swimming instructor’s missing,
No one has heard from him.
03/04/19
Contest 'Make me actually laugh'
by Nina Parmenter
In my soup I could have sworn I saw a shark.
Swimming in roux that was rather dark.
But to my relief,
the fin a bay leaf.
Now I wear glasses before each meal I start.
12/27/18
I am a foodie, I must confess, I swim a few laps for exercise
Along come the Mollusk, and to my pleasant surprise
I have no restraint and they look so yummy
I just open my jaws wide, and fill up my tummy
Holy Mackerel, they make quite the feast!
Unlike that deepwater whale; Moby Vic, that lumbering beast
A real blow show, they eat any freak’n thing
Whale diet: Squid, Krill, Larvae, what distaste they bring!
Ah, catching up to the guys, what are they circling ‘round?
Heya Tom, Bill, GW, Anil. Rob, l see you’ve gained a pound
“I’m on a sea-food diet, I see food, I eat it!” Hee hee hee
Yep, you may want to stick to your day job, try a sea-shanty!
Look over there boys, the Seahorses, I hear they work for LYFT
Harry, how’s business, break for some sushi? California Roll, a gift
You may wanna giddy up, plenty of shrimp crawling beneath you
I know how much the Seahorse love to munch crustaceans too
"Shrimp—cockroaches of the sea! Not a kosher food"
Okay GW, what do you eat, my friend, set the mood
Gefilte fish recipe; grind the salmon, red snapper, codfish,
Onions, carrots, add eggs, sugar, salt, white pepper, in a dish
Stir in ice water, add matzo meal and chop, boil, voila, gefilte fish!
To the right of us, why it’s Lady L, my, she is swell
Small crabs on her menu, anything in the sand that dwell
Blowfish is a species that feeds on poison, dangerous to eat
They can’t hunt, they call ‘em puffers, just one puff’s a real treat
Anil, do you believe in sea nymphs on a blue oceanic parade?
Yes, I vision the lovely face of Wendy on the frame of a mermaid
Nil, come on now, aren’t you married, mate
OK, Tom, I’m going home, I won’t be late, I won’t be late
To the right of us the Starfish, greet the ladies of the sea
How they brighten the day, on display, as charming as can be
Pangie, Valsa, Andrea, Paula, Len, Kim, Eve and Gina
I know how you love snails, I bring escargot straight from the Marina
And so, my friends, another lovely day. Join us for our usual Activities and Brunch
6/11/22
Third Place
A Merger With Food Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Natasha L Scragg
Shark, the cat, is sitting catty-wampus today. He is a contortionist. His head is to the north,
His tail to the west, paws to the east, crossed in a southwesterly way, except for one which is
Somehow sticking up in the air like a lone feather. He is licking his Neverland region, as I step
Over him. At first when I noticed him on the porch, with all these extensions, I thought he was a
Fat, giant spider. Shark is an older cat, there is no way he should have this kind of agility, but
He does, and I am in awe.
Tim had all the necessary ingredients right next to his ancient burner
Shark teeth dangling from a sunken necklace at the cutting edge but
The amulet had turned into chains and shackles grinding the chef’s mind
A lost recipe for happiness but and he had no appetite for nourishment
Attrition boiled over when nutrition resembled a poisonous chalice
Too tired to take stock he dwelled on his primordial soup turning back
Primitive and involuntary he turned on the gas and smelled his demise
Rotten onions had depleted his tears thinly sliced and disguised
Fetid leeks leaked misery a trickle or two at full stagnant pace
Spoilt thyme oozed malodorous rosaries into beads of corrosion
Squashed tomatoes splashed foul decomposition into his eyes
Fennel funneled his vision into a bubbling hell of indigestion
Olive oil splashed straight into his heart with no glimmer of peace
Cantankerous garlic would not fend off his festering demons
While a bay leaf could not keep mortally morose sadness at bay
Great white oblivion but slowly Tim made friends with predation
Resolved he was allergic to fishy feelings and toxic distaste
He did not remember at first how to simmer emotions and passion
But onions started to sprinkle tears of joy and the shark pointed the way
Soon leeks from a Welsh legend delineated friend from mal-aligned foes
Thyme soothed his splattering cough and he found his true inner voice
Tomatoes seeded bright red orange chakras from base to the top while
Fennel fought of bloating depression and conquered agony’s cramps
Previously oblivious oils from virginal growth re-birthed him into life
He licked his wounds and wild garlic from an ocean of wonderment
And chose the berries from a long forgotten and noble laurel tree
Tim had barked up the wrong perspective and had muted the roar
Eventually he conjoined ingredients recipe and fortunate blessings
Left the sharks out of the chowder and slurped smooth soup into his shell
One day while fishing Noah feels a tug upon his rod,
“I think I’ve caught a fish!” he yells, “Please, let it be a cod!”
He pulls his rod and reels his line to see what’s on the hook.
Then leans towards the sea so he can get a better look.
With wild excitement Noah peers to see what’s in the sea,
Then drops his tackle with a start, and turns around to flee.
The biggest shark that Noah’s ever seen is on the line,
It’s thrashing, pulling, chomping, chewing hard on Noah’s twine.
“Hey! You up there, how dare you! What on earth d’you think you’re doing?
Let me go at once or I promise you, this day you will be ruing!
I’ll beat you soundly; hard enough your eyes will soon be popping.
Now let me go so I can swim and get back to my shopping."
“Sharks don’t shop!” said Noah, “you just swim around and fight.
And when I’m swimming with my friends you give us all a fright.
We’re scared and try to run away but you guys bite our legs,"
Says the shark "I'm shopping, honestly. Look, here's a dozen eggs.
And here's a nice new dress I found. I think it will look nice
With these red boots from Dover Soles. I bought them at half price.
What about this perfume? Take a sniff it's Chanel 5.
Do you like it? Try some on your wrist. It makes me feel alive!"
So Noah holds his arm out to receive a squirt of scent.
And the shark bites through his elbow just right where his arm is bent.
"You rotter!" Noah screams, "you ate my arm, oh why, oh why?"
"All that shopping made me hungry" says the shark, "so long, goodbye!"
I was swimming in the ocean enjoying it so much
I back floated and relaxed with my cousins Mat and Hutch
All of a sudden Mat broke my dreamy thoughts with a scream
The water choppy, he was carried swiftly up stream
Two great whites were fighting over which would eat my poor Mat
So I chased after them and I smacked them with a big baseball bat
Is this human being serious? The biggest shark asked the other
I do not know the other shark replied but she looks like my mother
I am a grandma you dopes I said and I smacked each hard on the nose
This the smaller one said haughtily is not how this kind of shark story goes
So I jumped on his slick back. I bucked, screamed, jabbed, and I kicked
And I punched him and bit him, making him mad; his skin was quite thick
This land polluter is crazy the great whites agreed with some flair
So they gave me my cousin whom they had tossed in the air.
Because I liked it I gave them another bat smack across their noses
She is horrible! The great whites said as I hit them with hoses
Sure I got Matt back but due to those shark bullies he now he had PSTD
His swimming suit was gone, so he was sheepish being nude in front of me
So Hutch and I threw off our clothes and we all swam in birthday suits
But those sharks never came back, so glad they were finally loose
When I ordered fish soup I hadn't a clue
That a predator lurked within the brew
I was ready to taste it so I dipped my spoon in
But rising from the bowl was a dorsal fin!
I took up a fork to spear this fish
Which was swimming around making my soup swish
The waiter came over to see what was wrong
I said "there's a shark in my soup, he doesn't belong"
The waiter decided to take the bowl back
I told him to bring something that didn't attack
The waiter returned and granted my wish
And brought me a bowl filled with goldfish!
-
12-28-18
Shark in the Soup Contest
Sponsor.. Anthony Slausin
Freezing water.
Many hours.
Prayer, hymns, and laughter.
Gray fins begin circling our group.
Day Three There are thirteen of us now.
Twenty-six numb legs stop moving.
Hymn singing stops.
Who will be next? I hold my breath.
Goliath is taken.
Pulled away from the circle.
His girlfriend screams.
Goliath makes no sound. Gives me a sad nod.
I watch in morbid curiousness
As he is pulled under the water hard.
The water fills with vast amount of red liquid.
Frenzied sharks swim in for their taste of the kill.
The rest of us hold our breaths.
The third day of our capsized non-rescue.
The ocean is deep. Eight others had already been taken.
Which is easier – to be taken or to watch those taken?
The sharks swim around us one more time.
We who are left give praise for another hour
Of life, each minute a reminder of how quickly
We are taken. Tears in our eyes. Who will tell our tale?
Shark, the contortionist cat, is sitting catty-wampus today.
His head is north, paws west, crossed in a weird southwestern way.
Wearing his glitzy tiara and a feathered boa of blue.
He will not take direction, and has a secret kill room, maybe two
He drags these little bitty animals up, and leaves their bodies for me.
Usually headless when I step on them, sometimes in two or three.
He brings snakes, rabbits, squirrels, moles, voles, and other critters too.
Shark, such a prissy haughty character. I am his clean-up crew.
I am floating lazily in the ocean, enjoying myself when I suddenly realize…
I am wearing a Band-Aid,
A Band-Aid over a small cut.
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
I suddenly remember that a great white shark can smell a drop of blood
More than a mile away.
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
I also remember that a great white has huge teeth that have serrated edges.
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
“GET ME OUT OF HERE!” I yell at my surprised husband, who
Has walked into the bathroom.