Caren Krutsinger Poet Light Verse

Grandma Attacks Great Whites

I was swimming in the ocean enjoying it so much
I back floated and relaxed with my cousins Mat and Hutch
All of a sudden Mat broke my dreamy thoughts with a scream
The water choppy, he was carried swiftly up stream

Two great whites were fighting over which would eat my poor Mat
So I chased after them and I smacked them with a big baseball bat
Is this human being serious? The biggest shark asked the other
I do not know the other shark replied but she looks like my mother

I am a grandma you dopes I said and I smacked each hard on the nose
This the smaller one said haughtily is not how this kind of shark story goes
So I jumped on his slick back. I bucked, screamed, jabbed, and I kicked
And I punched him and bit him, making him mad; his skin was quite thick

This land polluter is crazy the great whites agreed with some flair
So they gave me my cousin whom they had tossed in the air.
Because I liked it I gave them another bat smack across their noses
She is horrible! The great whites said as I hit them with hoses

Sure I got Matt back but due to those shark bullies he now he had PSTD 
His swimming suit was gone, so he was sheepish being nude in front of me
So Hutch and I threw off our clothes and we all swam in birthday suits
But those sharks never came back, so glad they were finally loose

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Kim Rodrigues November 11, 2018 at 5:48 AM LOL! I think you take my grandmothering up a notch! Almost gave my pink yoga mat away until it came in handy as a raft to save us from sharks. So we go swimming in the pretend water and when one of us yells shark we all go screaming onto our raft. Be blessed, sweet Caren! Caren Krutsinger November 11, 2018 at 7:17 AM Another poet gave me this idea, and I loved it so, I had to run with it or in this case, swim with it!

Bette Bavington November 10, 2018 at 7:08 PM We as grandparents will protect our grandchildren no matter what the cost. I enjoyed reading this poem. Caren Krutsinger November 10, 2018 at 8:56 PM Thank you Bette. I had done a shark poem in "fun" and a fellow poet suggest I hit the shark on the nose, which I thought could make a really fun poem. So I had to do it.

Rhona Mcferran November 10, 2018 at 5:31 PM Bwahahaha!! I love reading of your adventures... you always manage to make me smile (& laugh!) ;D Caren Krutsinger November 10, 2018 at 8:56 PM I am so glad. I had such fun creating this one!

Sunlite Wanter November 10, 2018 at 3:27 PM Now that's funny! I'll just bet you could do it..... Caren Krutsinger November 10, 2018 at 8:57 PM Not only could I, pick me up some day soon, Sunlite, and we will head out to the ocean with a couple of bats, and cats, and wild hats