Best Sandwich Poems
Hey diddle diddle
We poets will fiddle
With poems that jump over the moon.
But sometimes we blunder
He still claps like thunder
And soon we are smiling a tune.
While he sits on his tuffet
and gobbles his sandwich
He brings a smile with each comment he makes
Collecting his wits,
With humorous bits
Jay Leno would gladly be paid!
To have him crack jokes
He cheers all the folks
Who stay up by light of the moon
Even little dogs laugh,
While the rest of us grin
You're a great guy, we love you! ... Ruben!!
What do you want for lunch?
A unicorn sandwich.
Okay. What’s in it?
A unicorn, silly.
With peanut butter?
Rapid head nod.
And an Oreo?
Sure.
In the sandwich or next to it?
We have had it both ways.
You choose.
Okay.
Inside is usually better, so I push it onto the peanut butter.
I love talking to myself.
Because there is not
As much
Arguing.
You
Shut up.
No.
YOU shut up!
There once was a woman named Tracy
Who wore clothes that were a bit racy
Till she got drunk in a club
And was mistaken for grub
By the wolves who thought her quite tasty!
Timothy I. Brumley
Extra nutty and thick
A treat with a positive stick
Why am I such a fool?
These dentures I'm bound to lose!
A cup of milk, please make it quick!
Please, sir, some meat and bread
I've not had a morsel for a week
It would stop this terrible hunger
My prospects now are terribly bleak
It's said the Earl is tender hearted
And oh so bloody awful rich
If I could have a taste of his
I'd call the thing a Sandwich
I hate to just come a beggin'
But I'm so hungry I am seeing red
Won't you ask the Earl again
Please, sir, some meat and bread.......
For Joe's Sandwich contest...lol
Fast Food Epulaeryu
Chicken dances on my tongue
Spicy flavor heats
Teeth dissolve it one by one
Chewing up my treat
Flavor can’t be beat
Now it’s gone
Drink!
By Julian Egona
Funeral planning - oh what can I say
Not only are you coping with your loss
There is so much to arrange
The process took us hours and hours
Meet with the priest and funeral director
Book the church; discuss the flowers
Choose the hymns; print the order of service
Arrange the catering – how many will attend
Dad was popular he has many friends
So we catered for 100 - BIG MISTAKE
The trestle table was groaning under the weight of the platters
There was only about 50 of us…
Does anyone fancy a sandwich?
5th March 2015
The left over food got given to a charity for the homeless
He told me love was like a hoagie sandwich
He said, “You start with the bread.
It has to be the perfect bread because it is you and it is what you know you like
You add some mayonnaise and some mustard
You know you want that
Then you try a little ham
By itself it is good but something seems to be missing
You try a little cheese and that adds a little *****
Then you decide that maybe this is just not exactly the sandwich you want
You like it but you are not in love with it
So you try something new
This time you add a little turkey, just for fun
Maybe some roast beef, strong and stable
Oh, and a few jalapeno’s for spice
You decide you need something bold so you add some pepperoni
More cheese because you still enjoy the mellow type
You really want perfect balance
Top it off with an extra large helping of the bread you crave
And you find that this sandwich is perfect for you
Then you realize that you can’t truly enjoy it
You want the perfect someone to share it with
So...You have to find someone that enjoys the same things as you
Then you offer them the chance to partake in this wonderful sandwich
Freely sharing the life you have created
If they are inclined they partake and you share in the magic
Of all the love you added into it
For yourself and for them
Life, friendship, spice, *****, laughter, balance
And the other half (a partner to share it with)
Not too much or you end up with a party sub
Just a perfect Hoagie sandwich”
Yes, words of wisdom in disguise
My best friend taught me
Not to take life or love too seriously
To share it with the ones we trust and love
To put in it what you want out of it
To live, laugh, love and make beautiful memories
And to enjoy every bite!
Copyright © 2009 Lena “Lolita” Townsend
a club sandwich
is a mini meal
what's your favorite club?
If you want your big jam sandwich
Pay attention to your stomach
Looking down at your toes…
You can see them – add more butter!
I heat up the stove and throw oil in the pan
I watch as the grease pop
Here comes the eggs man
Don't let the cooking stop
Once the egg is nice and fried
I slam the bacon down nice and calm
I burnt the egg so I slowly cried
as it sizzled and popped just like a bomb
I rushed to the fridge to grab the cheese
I ran to the toaster to toast my bread
Sadly I tripped and slammed my knees
I might as well be dead
I got up so the bacon wouldn't burn
and flipped it over
making sure each side gets a turn
I finally finished cooking all the food
Made the sandwich to the inch of perfection
I freaked out because I saw this disgusting dude
I then noticed it was just my reflection
This was the perfect sandwich, I know I'm right
I smiled, the scent of the meat lingers
I saw a large greasy hand come into sight
And rip it away from my fingers
I screamed as he bit into it
"Don't eat anymore of it, I forbid!"
I begged and begged for him to quit
He finished the rest of it, I really hate my kid.
Hark!
Peanut butter and
Miracle Whip collide in coitus
between two slabs of pumpernickel.
Disgusting eugenics!
I prefer white bread; two slices
Spread Peanut Butter
Then get out jelly and spread
Must be grape jelly
Put slices together
Cut in halves
‘Yum!”
ham and cheese sandwich
is good any time of day
or even the night
A really mouth watering sandwich
one that wets an hungry appetite
just what sandwich does one select
from a selection of bread brown and white
The favourite one for my tum
is one filled with cheese and hams
along with tomato, cucumber and onion
honey mustard on top of lettuce at 200 grams
Having this lovely food sandwich
such a rich taste of succulent texture
makes one fall in love with it fully
as it's simply lovely that's for sure
This may not be everyone's fav
but it is certainly mine
think of the juice's on your lips
eating that sandwich next time you dine