Best Red As A Beet Poems

If one is hungry
And bored
Of watching over Mecca,

What better place
To steal an apple
Than from another country’s orchards,
With fighter jets
Twanged in the sky
Like flying bottle openers,
Diving down
And peeling back a tin can roof
Of a school bus
Loaded with 40 children,
Whose shoulders are all
Strapped
With blue and red back...

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Soda, ice cream, chips and pizza
I love the way they taste
But every time I bring some home
They end up going to waist
My wife screams are you eating again
You’d better heed my warning
I said, no, I’ve only eaten once
But I started early this morning
There’s something wrong...

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I put sunscreen on arms, legs and face,
Walked the beach at a leisurely pace –
But the tops of my feet
Are now red as a beet
For I didn’t wear shoes in that place!...

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A Vacation at the Beach

By Elton Camp

Roscoe looked forward to his vacation all year
“I hate the city and want to get away from here.”
The mountains were where he usually went,
But this time, it was at the beach it was spent

Roscoe spent all day on the...

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WHAT?

Thanksgiving’s on the way
This had crossed my mind
But what?
While shopping the mall yesterday I came on this display –
Who could miss it? – 
Shelves and shelves full of teddy bears    nutcrackers
    dolls    delicate ornaments  ...

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Suck off

Ted’s teaching grandma to suck eggs
“Don’t patronise me lad,” she begs
"It’s a job I can do
SO much better than you
Just scarper on your asses legs!"

Gran whispers words I won’t repeat
Ted’s blushes as red as a beet
She is so worldly wise
And it is no surprise...

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Hey, killer, you've slain a cow
   It's been swiftly slaughtered, cooked, and now
You stick your knife's blade deep into that hunk of meat
   Bloody juice rushes forth, so thick it coagulates, red as a beet

How much more of this gore can...

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