Best Poo Poems

I'm Witchy Poo from Dunedoo,
I'm a flaming outback witch,
You won't see me rounding cattle up
Or digging in a ditch.

I like to cast spells,
Just like those city witches do,
I've cast so many spells outback,
Successful ones too.

Did you know that emus 
Always used to fly,
That is until...

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Throned green eyed rat in
golden trap of cheesy poo
he rules like a king ...

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They pursued it with vigor, they pursued it with crass
They hunted with valor and hope
They proceeded with a dose of good Knightly sass
They chased it with tackle and rope

Now King Arthur declared in a boisterous voice
He was tired of the usual meats
And would now on...

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I have the outhouse in view
I had grandma’s squirrel stew
Dessert was a tart
I will not dare fart
I will sit in my own pew

*in honor of Jan's Birthday tomorrow*...

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I feed the seagulls in the morning sitting on a bench
When my sister looked at me and said in quite content
Miriam don’t feed those seagulls there’ll poo on your head
I ignored her and instead…. 

They pooed on her head
She wasn’t amused at all
She didn’t even...

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Here’s a fact SOME dog owners have missed  - 
The dog poo fairy DOESN’T exist
So get out your scoop
And clear up that poop
Or you’ll get a big slap on the wrist!

Inspired by a large poster I saw on a van

07~16~15...

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Monkey see....monkey do...
Monkey took a poo poo...
Monkey pooed on my arm..
on my shirt...icky warm...
Monkey poo rings my alarm!
Monkey monkey...look at you!
Get this off...it's from your wah-zoo!!
Eep! eep! eep! said the monkey!
Then he squeezed his nose...
'cause it smelled funky!...

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As you see we have no Febreze
Butt cover your smell if you please
Just spritz three or four times
Then release by design 
and the next person won't say "Jeeze!"...

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Return of the Kung Poo Masters


Spring came around the bend
As YES, Dragon is at it again
My roses have compost more regular than rain
As, Dragon goes at it, claiming its Zen
Yep, He’s dumping his loads as I try to stop him in vain

So the Kung POO...

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i'm up a creek

i have a paddle

but no canoe...

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I don’t know much about cat poo
Except they are not good to chew
Don’t eat a bite
You might excite
The dog who would enjoy a few

Russell Sivey...

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Something smells in here,
John forgot to flush again,
I think I'll move out!...

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Why do pigeon always poo
On the car you’ve polished new
Why do they wait ‘til you’ve gone indoors
Before they mess up all your floors

Maybe it’s a good thing it’s just pigeon poo
A seagull has too much to do
That’s after they’ve taken the stand
To snatch your food...

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I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart

There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s...

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Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!...

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