Best Nip And Tuck Poems
Clutching the purse to her chest and the counting
She grabbed at the invisible hands and doubting
If it hadn't been one thing it would have been another
The greed put out the fire with smother
Greed, the great pacifier
Holding each coin close
Counting and counting over and over
The hiding place ever changing
A dog can never have enough bones to bury
The alcoholic and one glass of sherry
Snatching at fingers and to the comfort of the vault
A ski mask helps one not to be caught
One pacifier deserves another
Turning from the bank with her greed
Draws her purse to her chest
Maybe the freezer wrapped in foil
Holding each emotion and counting
Not a drop of water and the broken founting
Such a miser she won't pitch a penny for luck
Met her doctor at KMart for a nip and tuck
The Baby Queen strikes her rattle
As the basket is passed she puts in nothing
Always wanting to know where the next one comes
And the texture of each bill
Even Barbie held with the covet
Getting summons and the snub it
Ken wears only Gucci suits for his pleasure
Barbie holds each banknote with measure
My suntan comes from a bottle
My hair from a wig maker in Peru
My legs are very hairy
I have to put my teeth in to chew
I have had plastic surgery
And a nip and tuck
And I'm soon to have my nose done
With a bit of luck
My lips are bigger than Mick Jagger's
And I have that wind tunnel look
And I'm quite a catch by anybodies book
But I'm all man
Well almost
But I do what I can
I do have a six pack
But keep it in the cooler
Yes I'm quite a man
I measured it with a ruler.
So come on ladies grab me while you can
When I've got my teeth in and wig up on my head
They say I look like George Clooney
But then I look in the mirror
And I think they meant Mickey Rooney.
Ar well can't have everything
But my heart is loving and true
I may not be organic no more
With all the plastic surgery
But there's much more than that to me.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.
I think I'll be an influencer
I'll be really good at that
I'll buy some bots from Russia
and flog some plastic tat.
I'll pose in skimpy undies
I'll advertise fake tan
and when my fans unfollow me
I'll bring out my old gran.
Of course, the person that you see
behind the camera lens
is photoshopped to b*****y
and wearing all size tens.
I'll nip and tuck I'll cut and crop
'Thank God' I say for photoshop.
I'll probably have a kid or two
or three, or four or five
I've heard that that's the best way
to keep your page alive.
Of course, they won't be ugly kids I'll make sure of that
I'll tan their skin and bleach their hair I'll use a filter everywhere.
And when it comes to freebies ill grab them with both hands
I'll tag the big name companies and all the biggest brands
They'll send me stuff to advertise Oh I'll make a wad
Of course, I will be sneaky I'll not say #gifted #ad
Oh yes I'll make my fortune built on scams and lies
Who cares if people suffer from debt up to their eyes.
Because I am an influencer I do not care one bit
I have no moral compass to that I will admit
As long as I have 'likes' and hearts, kisses and bouquets
I'll carry on accepting all your undeserving praise.
My name is Arabella
And I’m really such a girly
I like to wear nice dresses
And my hair is blonde and curly
With underwear by Reger
And Prada on my feet
Made up to perfection
I give all the men a treat
My perfect breasts the envy
Of the women that I see
They look me up and down
And, they wish that they were me
I’m very nearly faultless
And quite soon with any luck
I’ll have the money saved
So I can have the nip and tuck
Pug noses in designer hoodies
Wicker baskets on beach cruisers
Leather sofas doggy devoted
Grooming parlors and pet hotels
Best pooch in wedding tux
Nip and tuck, no more nuts
Hollywood glitz for puppy shitz
LA doggy style
Westside!
“Hey, when is my turn?”
asks the horse.
“Hold your horses,”
says the plastic surgeon,
“while I give the duck
a quick nip and tuck.”
I must have been six years old
When my Dad came home one day
He had a shoe box under his arm
What’s in it? He wouldn’t say
Mom said it’s a surprise for you
It’s something that’s really great
You can see it after dinner
If you both clean your plate
My bro and I scoffed it down
We just couldn’t wait to see
When Dad took off the lid
We were happy as can be
A Boston terrier puppy dog
As tiny as he could be
His Mom wouldn’t feed her pups
That’s why we got him for free
No solid food for several weeks
An eye dropper used to feed
The first two weeks were nip and tuck
But then he grew like a weed
My Dad said “it’s your dog boys”
Come up with a name that’s right
We thought, we fought and finally agreed
So we named him “Dynamite”
Beauty is in the eye of the one looking in,
Movie screens teach us how we should look,
Slim and glamorous,
Facelifts define it,
Nose, eyes, and lips,
All under the knife,
A nip and tuck,
Cutting off pieces,
Looking more stunning,
The smaller the better
Famous!
Bewitching and glamorous,
People looking in awe,
Cinema plays the scene,
Award winning actresses
Starring roles! Attract,
Petite bodies fascinate,
Tempt and allure,
Good looking,
Pretty! Rules,
Diets engage,
Power controls,
Instructing us,
Do the same!
Longing to copy,
Hypnotized,
By the fame of it all,
Lulling us,
A false sense of belief,
How should we look,
Hollywood tells us!
Changing the way we think,
Deceiving us with every lie,
Making us believe,
We need to change,
When all along,
We are beautiful,
Just the way we are.
01/01/2017
I met a jolly fisherman with hair as white as snow.
Everywhere he sailed his ship, the kids were sure to go.
He came down from the north, after a little nip and tuck.
Smack dab in the middle of his boat was a giant ice cream truck.
While he baited his hook, his elves would stir the cream.
The kids would come down to the beach and everyone would scream.
Could this man be Santa? Boy that would be slick.
How could someone catch a fish with chocolate push up stick?
The elves just kept on working, they seemed to never stop.
Little Billy swam on out for a drumstick and fudge pop.
The king cones all sat ready they were the next in line.
The snow cones didn’t taste that great, but the eclairs tasted fine.
The kids just kept on swimming and ate up every treat.
The sandy beach was all packed down from tiny little feet.
If you ever run out of bait, while fishing on waters blue.
Remember this little story, fish like ice cream too.
A Jolly Fisherman Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Julia Warden
8/21/22
Life seemed nip and tuck always
Till you said, “I do!”
Now my heart gets its tan in your smile.
Was I just lacking focus,
My skies filled with you?
For it seems you’ve been there quite a while.
Do you live in God's favor?
Love's star is in sight!
For your presence brings magic to life!
What was difficult easy,
The painless delight,
And anxiety’s gone out of strife.
It’s a heavenly feeling
To love without fear,
And my only regret I delayed.
Is it gifting from God that
You hold me so dear?
May the Lord bless the time that we’ve played!
Long Tooth
March 28, 2017
Dreams, Battles and Waking To Rejoice
Times that my mind wakes to take flight
flying away in spheres of magical dreams
So often are near hour of black midnight
when dark powers dance with their schemes
A journey into the devil's unholy realm
to battle the hordes of his evil beasts
Flying blind with no master at the helm
slaying engorging demons at their feasts
Girded with truth's invincible shield
long sword of bravery in my right hand
Solemn vow to die before I ever yield
cutting out the heart of Lucifer's band
Every battle goes on in a nip and tuck
slaying the filthy beasts left and right
Always my feet seem to get me stuck
as daylight rises to defeat dark of night
Times that my spirit chooses to wake
victory is rewarded for valorous deeds
I rejoice deeply for goodness sake
as God's truth met my fighting needs
Robert J. Lindley
04-21-2015
Laying in the bed beside you, early morning light,
cascades into the window banishing all signs of
night,
your sleeping frame presents to me an appetizing
sight, I'll wake you up as only I can do, with sheer
delight.
You're underneath the comforter because of
morning chill, I gently ease it off prepared to give you
more than thrills,
your sexy thighs define mine eyes they're slightly
parted still, I drape your legs across my shoulders,
zero movement; nill.
My face descends your waist I breathe in deep your
sweet'ning air, the peaches that I plan to eat secrete
a sweet'ning flair,
that trickles just a little we can race, I'll meet you
there, my tongue becomes The One like Neo
leaping through the air.
The 1st lick stirs your body lightly, is this just a
dream? Your womanhood's dessert I'm talkin
peaches AND the cream,
which seemingly's inviting me to your forbidden
seams, you moan and then it's quiet, I call THAT a
silent scream.
The shock is wearing off and now the sound starts
coming out, your legs are softly tremb'ling as my
tongue moves all about,
like surgery most certainly but this aint nip and tuck, I
introduce my special skill, I call it 'lick and suck'.
This means that simultan'eously my tongue as well
as lips, are working hard in tandem to dismantle
your defense,
just like a potent passing game I'm rackin up the
yards, I throw to 2 receivers that'll make you scream
for God.
See now that's what you're doing as we're entering
that stretch, the sun is shining bright outside and yet
you're soaking wet,
sook sookie not a rooke status labels me a vet, I
spell the alphabet which makes you gush all on my
neck.
I latch on like a newborn baby latches on to feed,
you're sudd'nly strong as 20 men, I guess that's it
indeed,
you look at me astoundingly not knowing what to do,
I wink an eye and wipe my mouth, good morning to
you too.
With a new world in the making
Positively no mistaking
No need for hesitating
With no line and no waiting
Welcome to the new world order
Closed minds with open borders
What have we done to our sons and daughters
We'd call someone who cares but we've run out of quarters
A generation made up of nip and tuck
Using the government as a living crutch
With no if's and's or even but's
My love can beat up your love
Peace, love, and understanding
Never before has been so demanding
Play the laughter track the networks are caning
In the meantime, enter the sandman
To sleep off the thoughts that differ from you
Without a care if they are or if they are not true
It won't change your mind one iota or clue
Where under the sun there's nothing new
You can kick and scream all you want
We know you know you know how to cuss
No if's and's or even but's
My love can beat up your love
November Ninth the President
By Franklin Price
11/9/2016
November ninth the president elect is thought to be:
Donald Trump with outside chance will get the victory.
It's nip and tuck and hardly fought; the vote count is not done.
There are states that are so close still hard to tell who won
Democrats have gone home, the hour's Two A.M.,
Will be no concession speech tonight from Hillary to him.
The newsmen on the TV are trying to look good;
Saying that they knew it, it has happened as it should
They make me sick the way they act. They've blocked him every way.
Now it looks as if he's won, they'll kiss his ass today.
I hope it doesn't turn around; have a foul called in the race.
We the People now have spoken; establishment we're in your face.
He may not be the smoothest, a politician he is not,
We all must get behind him to see what he has got.
We've heard all that he's promised, now he will get his chance.
We'll see if he's got two left feet, or if he can dance the dance
Don't know if that will happen, still not saying he's the best,
Only that he's won the fight and outlasted all the rest.
The hour is two forty, and we just got the pump
Hillary has conceded with a phone call to the Trump
The struggle's finally over now the good work can begin
Donald Trump's acceptance speech, said we'll make us great again
We'll fix America together, cooperation is the word
America will be great again; at least that's what I heard.
Time has passed by since I wrote
No awards received, not even a vote
Book shelves are filled with all the best sellers
Libraries kept mine down in their cellars.
I tossed out the old glass oil lamp
It let me down when I wrote at my camp
I was alone there, and never disturbed
Accept for those squawking blue jays, I got perturbed.
Warm inside, plenty of wood in the box
I would feed the scavengers including the fox
Plenty of writing paper and now new quills
Denture cream supply and my arthritic pills.
Maybe if I write in unique styles
There wouldn’t be frowns, only smiles
Publishes would not answer my calls
Bookstores closed their door on me at the malls.
With a quill in hand and blue lined paper
I decided to write a mystery caper
I need a plot, but will leave out a clue
Thought of Jekyll and Hyde, but that won’t do.
Writing is difficult, hard to make a living
No sales have been made, no one is giving
Maybe I should change my pen name
That would look better in the poet’s hall of fame.
I dipped my quill into the ink jar
Came up with a enticing title of ‘pappy ol’ pa’
Pappy was a word that I had to find its rhyme,
Now that my ink well is low, I am almost out of time.
I know my poems don’t always rhyme
It’s because after dinner I always have wine.
I’ll write literature books like Longfellow
I am lost for words, I’m just too mellow.
Sip up some liqueur for a nip and tuck
Then go for my classics and try your luck
Being a bit stuporous you’ll get through
But mine are better than Nancy Drew.
I tried writing something for a classical piece
Halfway through the music the conductor ceased
I had added words to Bach’s Fugue in d minor
Was there something else that would be finer?
So now you can see how hard writing can be
Happy Lark is my pen name, but you don’t know me.