Best Neuter Poems
Tom's Rage ..
In Cage ...
Sharp Cuts ..
For Nuts ...
No Purr ..
From Fur ...
No Prowl ..
Soft Growl ..
Won't Spray ..
All Day ..
No Fight ..
At Night ...
Entice ..
More Mice ..
Neuter ..
Cuter ...
And How ..
Meeeoooow !! .....
She’s so neg neurodegenerative,
so womb retro Neanderthal
Her backward moving bellow decisions
aren’t thoroughly modern mellow
Got lip kicker high heels
that testosterone neuter kills
Miss So and So
loves to cold-heartedly
iron cast her anvil anger with
dragon breath death blows
She’s so con method constrictive,
so anaconda pocket squeeze avarice addictive
Those boa belly estrogen rolls
always take their masculine squeal toll
Her every hip sway diamondback pulse suggestion
is cobra hardwired for a vow recoil bosom confession
Miss No Good So and So
is a sultry eyelash she-devil
Delivering a bottomless pit of insomnia pain
everywhere she pillow goes
violet cosmos bends with the weight of a bumblebee
its honey a sway to blissful
slow drip tucked into breakfast glee
things of no small importance
vital
like forgiving mis-steps that neuter success
or losing shackles of disappointment
to hear love-words nurturing branches of support
vital, like a baby's gurgle, language spilling
in infancy
as children outdoors skip in a fusilade of laughter
vital, like robins hopping in the surety of spring
when winter lifts folded veils of snow to a fresh brush
of green
lives from strain to festive
sometimes shaky with apprehension
in a carefully constructed freedom that respects
diversity
vital
like love transcending the glut of superficial
I fell in love with a computer
Not for the sex, for it is neuter
It came without name
Oh my! What a shame!
I googled one and up came Luther.
-----------------------
Limerick Contest II
Sponsor: Jan Allison
Placed 1st
20th February, 2016
Amid, amid, amid, amid,
In the middle,
Between never and everlasting,
A haven for people idle,
A place that never is.
Began and built in imagination,
By ones who avoid
The cheap price of success,
Yet convinced they belong to success.
And they fall free to an imagination.
Calling the world unfair,
They become unfair to themselves.
Average... noise so mute,
Attractive albeit neuter.
No man's choice,
No woman's choice,
What no man chooses,
That's not chosen,
That which exists dependent,
Weary of good extremity,
Shy of feats are you Mr./Mrs. Average.
Sometime, One day,
Your place will grow fire
And you, the refuge of many
Will take refuge extreme.
Those to whom success is strange,
To whom failure is a never go,
What shall decorate your death?
True men die beautiful, joyful,
All efforts employed,
Owing nothing to the world.
Thing one
Success and failure are friends,
They come and go together.
To live average is to live a coma,
Absent in the universe.
A refugee who offers refuge
Means two-times death.
Revive memory, recover glory.
Way to go, give you for free:
The light at the end,
Deceiving it usually be,
Bravery, confidence is the tool,
Hold firm onto virtue,
Principle principal
In a battle won at conception.
Overcome seduction of incidence,
Run towards misfortune, failure,
The black that obscures hope.
Win the big enemy at the beginning,
Live good everlasting.
Leave the middle, play at the edges,
Where man makes choice.
Far from the refugee camp, from average,
All are free, failing or succeeding,
Each given to elect,
Would elect freedom.
None is wrong to do.
Cookie, fire-up yer chuck wagon 'cause th' round-up is begun!
Us cowpokes is gonna cull th' herd frum dawn to th' settin' sun!
We is gonna supply you wid th' cookin's fer our chuck tonight;
Heaps uv good ol' Rocky Mountain oysters broiled fer our delight!
It'll be a hot an' dusty trail as we drive 'em frum th' chaparral,
An' herd them cantankerous kine fer brandin' in th' ol' corral!
It'll take a heap uv sweat an' a lot uv cussin' to git 'em movin', alright,
But it'll be worth it, 'cause we is feedin' on Rocky Mountain oysters tonight!
Usin' our cuttin' hosses we'll rope an' wrestle th' bulls to th' ground.
There we'll brand an' neuter 'em as they beller an' kick around!
We'll be bruised an' kicked fer little pay but that'll be alright,
'Cause we is gonna enjoy a feast uv Rocky Mountain oysters tonight!
Us cowboys works hard wid little pay rollin' 'round in th' manure,
Convertin' bulls into steers; that's more'n them city fellers could endure!
But that's okay, 'cause at round-up time we gits a special treat;
Tonight we is gonna enjoy a feast uv Rocky Mountain oysters to eat!
Am a stargazer...
Born during winter..
Born as nocturnal..
Born as ideal..
Am a stargazer..
This month of December..
Am the masterpiece..
The master of peace..
Am a stargazer..
Born as neuter..
Not a neophyte..
Born to fight..
Am a stargazer..
They’ll remember..
With perfect recipe..
Blended perfectly..
Am a stargazer..
A dream catcher..
A little soldier..
An early riser..
AM REUBEN-A STARGAZER
We are like wiggling aphids on a quantum computer.
Knowledge beyond the scope of the most gifted tutor.
Spaces and dimensions multiplied by infinity, plus one.
Therefore, I am open to any possibility, oddity -- or none.
Too many eye-witness, photographed phenomenon to shun:
Like the fifth (genuine) photograph of the Cottingley Fairies.
In Taos, New Mexico that unexplained hum is unnervingly scary.
Intuition (or sixth sense) makes science and psychologists wary.
Disappearances (Hoffa, Earhart) cannot be dismissed so lightly.
Ghosts, sprites and ectoplasmic bits flaunt themselves nightly.
UFO sightings, crashes and top-secret documents exist, rightly.
The prevalence and similarity of near-death cases is astounding.
Fairies (or Fae, or Angels) hail not only from European founding;
But, from China to the USA, their numbers, happily, rebounding.
Hordes of haters and sceptics are quick to condemn and dissent.
Nevertheless, I, too, have witnessed a truly unfathomable event.
From my night-time garden, I spied a winged, many legged gent.
Of course, I have no evidence -- so, raise your knives and neuter....
Spaces and dimensions multiplied by infinity, plus one.
Like the fifth (genuine) photograph of the Cottingley Fairies.
Disappearances (Hoffa, Earhart) cannot be dismissed so lightly.
The prevalence and similarity of near-death cases is astounding.
Hordes of haters and sceptics are quick to condemn and dissent.
Of course, I have no evidence -- so, raise your knives and neuter....
I had two feral cats scheduled for surgery,
so I called a cab to take me to The Humane Society.
When the driver saw the cats, she asked me,
"Are you TNR?" (Trap, Neuter & Release).
"Yes I am," was my reply to she.
then she went on to say the following to me,
"Whenever you have more cats scheduled for surgery,
when you call my dispatcher ask for me specifically.
From here on in your transport to and from The Humane Society
will be on me. Your transport costs will be absolutely free."
Taken aback all I could say was, "Thank you,.. really, sincerely."
"I'm TNR also, no worries," she then told me.
I just may have made a new ally and friend possibly.
~Ann and Andy Drogynous~
(sung to the tune of ‘Mister and Mississippi’)
She would wear a pantsuit
He wore a pink beret
Ann and Andy Drogynous
Had a neuter way.
I’d love to have their bathroom
My odor would improve
Their towels could be hanging
As paintings at the Louvre.
Oh, he would do the ironing,
Her hair does need a comb.
Ann and Andy Drogynous
Re-modeled my old home.
Until I heard them talking
I thought that he was she
Ann and Andy Drogynous
Sang alto with a glee.
He’ll be watching ‘Housewifes’
While she field dresses deer
He’ll be eating tofu
And she’ll be drinking beer.
Oh, he would do the ironing,
Her hair does need a comb.
Ann and Andy Drogynous
Re-modeled my old home.
If big brother were watching me
just think how insanely bored he’d be.
But never the less, I must confess,
I have been spied on ruthlessly.
Not one, but four pair of eyes observe,
disapproving that I have the nerve
to walk on the deck they’ve commandeered.
I am a monster to be feared.
They feed on the chow that I provide,
this creature whom they can’t abide.
Though their own mother approves of me,
I take one step and they all flee.
I don’t know why they’re so afraid.
Is there some subtle hint I’ve made
that if into my hands they get
I’ll spay or neuter the whole quartet?
Down by the blabbing(babling) brook
Where daddy lived as a boy
Was a place of quietude and simplicity
But one filled with many memories
Some being beyond my apprehension(comprehension)
Some of the tall tales he did repeat
Like one day
When my aunt's new beau came to take her out for a treat
He knocked 'pon the door and the oldest brother did answer
The beau said that he had come to see Mary where was she
My uncle answered to everyone's disguise(surprise)
She is her bedroom cleaning out her drawers(dresser drawers)
That is when my uncle felt sister was hostage(hostile) and might just tutor(neuter) him when
she returned home from her date to the ice cream store.
A work using malapropisms(absurd or humorous misuse of a word, especially by confusion
with one of similar sound...
Not for the contest..Just for fun...
CE - Capture/Exterminate
Not only is this inhumane, it doesn't work at any rate.
A "vacuum effect" is all that will create,
vacuuming outside ferals into a territory already great
for food, shelter and to repopulate.
Within a few months the very same problem you'll have to face.
CR - Capture/Relocate
Again, the "vacuum effect" is all that will create.
Outside ferals will move in after the others relocate.
Relocated ferals often live harsher lives before dying a harsh fate.
It doesn't work, and again is very inhumane at any rate.
TNR - Trap/Neuter/Return
The most humane and most effective solution,
for maintaining and controlling feral cat overpopulation.
A surgically fixed and healthy feral cat colony,
is beneficial to any and every human community.
They'll keep outside intact feral cats out of "their" territory.
Fights for mating rites will greatly decrease,
no more unwanted litters of kittens being born regularly,
all while keeping our community vermin free.
TNR feral cats provide a service for our community,
and in return all they ask from anybody,
is that we make their lives as comfortable as can possibly be.
There Is Only One
true feral cat option.
I am so wild, I carelessly run around
I am the last horse in a one horse town
I'm as wild as wild can be
I have zero guidance, so I live my life aimlessly
Do what you have to, send me to assist the Border Patrol
I need someone to neuter me and keep me under control
I live life by the seat of my pants
I don't want love or trues romance
I believe that every moment counts
When you fall down, there is still time and room to bounce
If a jet can fly, it can surely land
When wrong is done, justice needs to be a firm hand
One day I may feel peace and love deep in my soul
When I find that one that can keep me under control
If there is a poster child for bad, it has to be me
I do not welcome the Devil, but there will be no begging for mercy
I often wonder what do people think
I really don't care after my third hard drink
You are wasting your time if you want to preach
You are educated, so do your best to teach
I am not worth being loved by you, so do not glow
I want discipline, so do your best to bring me under control
I party and sin and live as I please
I will never be driven to my eyes
I am a rebel and that will never change in my life
Not looking for love, a white picket fence or a loving wife
I can take the streets and deal with them blow by blow
Are you the one to keep me under control
Some people have it, some don't and some never will
I'm tired of hearing about it, I have lived it, now it's overkill
The question is do I want to sell my soul
You can save me if you can keep me under control
Instigating violence instead of defusing a situation. Shoot me in the face and get a month's paid vacation. Celebrating death down there at the station. The ones you've killed will watch you as you sleep.
Mouth breathers and cop callers. Black and white, no grey area. Toxic rainbows in tech-n-color sever childhood skies. It's obvious. Terrified, they kept their heads down. Maybe it'll all go away as long as they work their jobs, follow routine, and a few times a week they pray. Damn your eyes for knowing the truth and sitting Idly by, as you've foreseen the outcome in visions and secretly knew the reasons why. That the smoke and mirrors clear and shatter. Hearing the true tone in between the clatter. Watching the news in all hues of blood splatter. But still you've got the audacity to say you've an idea of what's the matter?
They'll come for us all in the end.
If Cancer doesn't kill you then some other marketing tools step in. Religions neuter progress.
Faith a hollow promise.
Your shepherd had the forked tongue all along.
Trained, conditioned, and corrupted to the bone.
Eyes still fixed on your betraying cell phone.
Tracked and tagged, docile and fed. No more questions echoing in your atrophying head. You've been duped onto the killing floor. Muscle breaks down just a little bit more. Consume. Comply. Stop resisting. They've plastic boxes for us all. Holes pre-dug in which we fall. Love, a vestigial emotion growing ever weary.
The wisest trees, will shake their roots clean.
We don't talk about the bodies and where there're buried.
A self fulfilling prophecy that has come to fruition. Rich frat boys, I've an aching suspicion. The human ant farm upon a corporation's shelf. Swallow jagged lies from the rotting prophet's mouth. The Godly are screaming as profits are headed south. "Please invite someone to church today".
Knocking on heaven's door with a bloody clinched fist is the goddamn polar opposite of Christ's teachings, lest there's something I've missed.
They've plastic boxes for us all. Holes pre-dug in which we fall. The weakened flock shall devour themselves.
Just a human art farm upon corporation shelves.