Best Munster Poems
(Dedicated to Yvonne De Carlo who passed away January 8, 2007.)
You starred as the wife of Moses and as a vampire.
While you lived, you set men's hearts on fire.
You did a great job when you costarred with Fred Gwynne.
You were undead and you had green skin.
I began watching you in the Munsters when I was a boy.
You gave millions of people lots of joy.
It's really sad to see you go.
Goodbye, Yvonne De Carlo.
Categories:
munster, death, happiness, loss,
Form:
-
Packed all our bags and into the car
A family of eight a dog from the bar
My father a publican hard worker as wife
deserved all their holidays each year of their life
We struggled and pushed and found a niche seat
a twin on a knee a boy at Mom's feet
Crew cut and bowl shape a haircut to last
A sister and mother rules they would cast
Up the long Highway M6 to the north
In the Welsh mountains and lakes not far from old Borth
Over the Menai to Holy Island port
Holyhead ship the Munster we thought
Seven in the morning up and alight
Sugar loaf mountains pull into sight
Feeling of home of excitement and glee
Twins are a missing Oh toilets you'll see
Down the N4 by Kilcock Dad had said
Mullengar for a draper shop selling sausages and bread
Past by the undertaker at the back of a dump
A chemist is busy selling petrol at pump
Down to the Granny and uncle who dwell
On a farm in the west with cattle and well
Black jack on bee stings and hay to a toss
Kittens and dogs and pine martens the lot
Father so proud doing well to a view
Mother delighted her brother just knew
Working for family his pride and his way
Both gave us good times as children we say
Categories:
munster, holidayfamily, family, mountains,
Form:
Rhyme
Frankie boy,
you’re so ghoulishly handsome
with your graveyard tan
My baby boy is
one Munster hunk of a man
With your strong and cold
cadaver Addams Family hands
You’re gonna make
your momma Morticia cry
And wipe the nightshade mascara
from my bloodshot, vampire eyes
Frankie boy,
tighten your steel bolts
and straighten that skeleton necktie
Your future bride,
with the electroshock hair,
said she’s gonna zombie stop on by
And your favorite uncle, my brother Festus,
with the light bulb bald head
Will be dating her Bewitched auntie Endora,
that’s what our butler Lurch said
My other mother’s daughter Lily,
and her husband Fred
Along with her Grandpa,
and your cousins, Pam and Ed
All will be coming thru to voodoo visit too
Frankie boy,
tell your two daddies
Vic and Gomez to come downstairs
Make sure they shut the lab door,
‘cause there’s a draft in the dank castle air
Frankie boy,
go get your sister and brother,
Wednesday and Pugsley
Tell them to come on down too
It’s our favorite night of the year, it’s Halloween ...
and we got a lot of scaring to do!
Categories:
munster, fun, humorous, parody, word
Form:
Light Verse
the reasoning the fishing in the trenches
beyond tire swings and monkey wrenches
follies crawl behind the hanging logos
of unseen filth across 124th street
tassels dangled above an oasis
of fine dining and soiled linen
over the board rooms covered
in a mesh of purple mustard
beckoning ancient aura solid creed
coming throughout hidden rivalry
tampered with ankara's answering service
gravely time passes abaundantly
coarse and yet shunned quietly
we remember the malitia moreover
we began a new wearing gray hoodies
offering our youth to silent the storm
that brewed inside a percolator
pot of copenhagan snuff chewing tobacco
screaming a cure for cancer shall rise
over bob marley's tears as we munster up
courage a courage of faith challenged
behind the wrecking ball of ground zero
we count one more time mon
freedom will soon come
in our most sinful hope
Categories:
munster, allah,
Form:
Qawwali
(Dedicated to Fred Gwynne who died July 2, 1993. He starred as Herman
Munster.)
You had bolts in your neck and a flat head.
Your skin was green and you were undead.
When people saw you, they screamed and ran.
You were very funny and you were also a scary man.
I loved to see you frighten people and make them flee.
But sadly the world lost you in July of 1993.
Categories:
munster, death, inspirational, on writing
Form:
I love you blue,
Holding arms aloft to
Let spring breezes waken you.
I love you misty grey,
Moving through the shadows
At the dawning of the day.
I love you puce!
Mouth and hands stained purple
By sweet summer berry juice …
I even love you green!
Dressed as Hermann Munster
For the kids at Halloween …
I love you Christmas red.
Face aglow and haloed
Hair, with silver tinsel threads.
I love you taupe … ?
Sorry …
Nope!
Categories:
munster, parody, song-lyrichalloween, love,
Form:
Verse
recurrent suicidal thoughts vain
gloriously wend
(o'er a death cab for cutie weeknd)
yanking zeal
becalming this crash test dummy rolling
stone temple pilot inxs
of maroon 5 plus decades long
perdition hellaciously slogging
slow as adam and the ants,
thru fifty shades of gray's
anatomy common weal
masterly baiting this motley crue (cutting),
beatle browed, beastie boy,
outre gee (bee) us, grateful dead,
mailer daemons inhabit
cavernous fist size vastness steel
via Herbie Hancock (Hermans Hermits)
cheesy Munster trap doors that steal,
deep purple swiftly tailored
culture club members squeal
hosted by mega death pack rat boston for real
venue at Tokyo hotel, via en grave invitation
signed by Alice in Chains poison huss kiss
sing, which will spellbind
once contents unveiled, an instant app peal
immediately choking off air supply
then Alice Cooper egging bad company
to hypnotize the guess who sacrificial meal
supplanting raw primal scream from spinal tap
acquiescing self to abandon all hope,
especially if black sabbath joins
creed dance clearwater revival
dark shadows would demand one
(to take a knee) and kneel
before sacrificing oneself at the beck and call
of evanescent nirvana
experiencing permanent relief,
sans soul (twisted) sister riding a hansom
off phish hull heart shaped coffin
ample room enough for blind
melon collie 10,000 maniacs, their heal
ling powers profusely emanating
via m&m shaped talking heads
methinks averring obeisance
to judas priest and hooters with coldplay feel
ling of eternal sleep, where quiet pussy riot
joins carpenters, whose underground
sepulchral crowded house indicative
cynthesis iz a done dizzy Gillespie afterlife deal
and you bet your sweet bippy meme
an extra bonus for orthodox believers
(absent myself - a skeptic),
whose karma with long deceased will anele!
Categories:
munster, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
curls of bayenne ham with
a munster pane
tarte flambe with onions
cream,bacon lardons#served with wild mushrooms
and Merlot
please!
Categories:
munster, food
Form:
Epulaeryu
This August 26th , 2018 rendition
regarding previous literary endeavor
Wick End Up Date, Snippet Sans...
...The Deadly Scourge
...One Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder
(Never abating infiltrating
writing material e'en superceding
the death of John McCain, where
Munster monster rears gnashing
undermining marriage with ambivalence.
Anorexia nervosa absent bulimia
nadir of onset schizoid behavior,
which agonizingly slow suicide
self starvation maelstrom within
psyche of self prepubescent lad
(particularly devastating
immediate family members)
emaciation pitted existential
ghastly revulsion unseen,
wuthering heights wrung death
knell annihilating fragile entity
christened Matthew Scott Harris
obvious preemtory imprimatur
yieldeing covalent bond to die starkly
horrified kith and kin helpless
Zorro slashed signature profound
perilous depressive psychological gouge.
Now at about two plus score years
attaining centenarian rank perfect 20/20
hindsight supreme advantage swift under
currents alluded drowning, when das
scribe juiced started to nibble puberty,
whence devastating emotional crisis
tripped, trilled, and tricked chronological
clock theorizing numerous educated
guesses within mindful middle progeny,
and sole son (of Boyce and late Harriet Harris),
why I willfully hurtled flesh at light speed
down abyss toward death. Literal and
physical lightness manifested within
nooks and crannies prior to full blown
symptoms to eliminate sustenance
drawing curtain on brief residence be
fore high noon of life. Metamorphosis
from boyhood into man found solace
attempting to keep at bay natural cycle,
which trans formation grieved me
pining nostalgic childhood’s end
(one fraught with romanticism)
vengefully interpreted attempt to halt
deadly tracks intervention of mother,
whose nursing experience helped fend
passive attempt promulgated silent...
Categories:
munster, 11th grade, 9th grade,
Form:
Dramatic Verse
A kingdom of the Gael
Lying well outside the Pale !
Subjects of an Ardri Lord
From Clare to Kerry
And Cork to Waterford
Categories:
munster, people, places,
Form:
Narrative
ever hear those obnoxious individuals claim that a lot of
people killing themselves around the
“holidays” is a myth?
ever see them walk with self-righteousness
as if they shouldn’t be bothered with the very idea that others in this world
might not share their abundant joy
when it comes to the genocide of native-americans or
the “birth” of a fictional character?
isn’t it ironic that what can be claimed as a myth so quickly is
directly a result of worshipping two?
cut to manatee county, fl,
where only hours ago
a man whose name has yet to been released
killed his girlfriend,
knocked on the neighbor’s door to tell them what he’d done &
then pulled the trigger on himself---
details will come.
then there’s scott degraff, a nightclub owner in vegas
who owed a guy in NYC $4 million---
he locked himself in somebody else’s garage
in aspen, co
& let the
carbon monoxide flow---
dead at 8am, thanksgiving morn.
and was there anyone there for the unnamed woman of 32
who after writing her note & leaving it in her mercury SUV,
ran into the oncoming lane on interstate 80/94 in indiana?
while the first semi missed her, a second one hit her head on---
that was around 1:15 pm---she died a short time later in a
hospital in munster.
not to mention mr. luther bolen, 55,
an inmate at the arkansas dept. of community correction
who hung himself with a sheet from a shower rod on wednesday &
subsequently died sometime on thanksgiving in a
texarkana hospital---he was due to be out in
january.
for the holiday suicides, coverage in the press might not always occur---
they may not pop up for days, weeks, months,
but people who claim that “the majority of people”
don’t do anything rash due to the overwhelming loneliness
that comes from this time of year for some
need to appreciate that they themselves are not in that place
a much deeper & darker place that cannot be imagined by
statistics or zombie smiles & jingling purses on
black friday.
Categories:
munster, life, thanksgiving, thanksgiving, time,
Form:
Free verse
Superman Show Was Cancelled
Started to embark
We ran into Joan of Arc
Was with Kent a Clark.
Wrote cute canticle
And song purpose did fulfil
Then fired at w(W)ill.
Will had not been well
Our singing seemed to be swell
William had to t(T)ell
Recently had heard
Kent had been sealed in cement
So show was cancelled.
Like at Trump's inauguration
which should have been in
Kenosha where everyone
never came and were
a no show. While being
condescending to Wisconsin
What we say on the horizon
was none other than Eddie
Munster in charge of all the
conciliatory representatives.
Have you noticed the
similarity lately?
Jim Horn
Categories:
munster, humorous, , cute,
Form:
Haiku
Trick or treat
Elviras alluring
EEEeeeeeeek the small lad said, heat racing and pounding
Did he get the candy?
Now Elvira looks like Mrs. Munster
Categories:
munster, age, beauty, boyfriend, cry,
Form:
Hence no surprise... yes
recherché rhetorical flourish(es) impress,
yet mine deliberate vocabulist predilection,
I haint gonna stress
aforementioned quirk
also includes zero apr
(annual percentage rate),
may be subject with excess
sieve jejune ennui pullulating Kudzu like
indecipherable haphazard gobbledygook mess
abhorrent brashness claptrap discouraging
further harrowing progress
into thicket of verbiage, perhaps...
unwittingly encountering Loch Ness
cheesy Munster gussied up as...
transgender logophile, alias Hermann Hesse,
which obvious immediate
long winded atavistic feature will
allow, enable, and provide
dead giveaway clue to guess,
whether yours truly be
mouse or man (chess
champion) meandering along
stream of consciousness,
whereby succumbing to wordiness helpless
(fear not coronavirus,
nor other mortal affliction)
even if exuding fifty shades of gray pus,
the only bonafide surefire
holistic, iambic, therapeutic... recourse
I reluctantly, lamely, and feebly confess
to ameliorate slogging thru
metaphorical marsh cress,
(a veritable poetic nightmare)
volunteer self as unsuspecting to acquiesce
(lest no lifetime allowance
courtesy United States mint printing press),
whereat Impractical Jokers profess
gut wrenching, humiliating, insulting...
pranks, albeit dudes harmless
(think) only psychological state at risk else
suffer interminable, objectionable, unutterable...
mother (ƒµ©****) eternal duress
unbeknownst to thee multisyllabic
stranger vowel things in consonant
essentially Mattspeak trumpeting
as sesquipedalianism (the lesser of twee vols)
temporarily rendering, manifesting
sudden impulse to emulate... me,
and damaging basic cognitive process.
Categories:
munster, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Enclosed Rhyme
There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
No one was to tease
That everyone agreed
As she was the daughter of Herman Munster
Categories:
munster, funny
Form: