Best Monkey Wrench Poems
Limerick : Once a typsy Toddy-Tapper took Wench
Once a typsy Toddy-Tapper took Wench
Up coco-nut tree with monkey wrench
He pumped her full toddy
Till Wench was tight giddy
But she hung on to ? nuts with wrench.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Monkeys, apes, gorillas---all so close to human
They can sleep in any bed a hotel has extra room in
Wearing glasses, reading matter in hand
~ Primate scholars, intellectual Tarzans
Monkeys are subjected to personification
When from the jungle they are on vacation
We talk of 'monkey business' and 'monkey shines'
~ While a 'barrel of mankeys' is a fine, funny line
Monkey see, Monkey do
If you're a monkey, happy birthday to you!
Feel the need to monkey around?
~ Your spouse'll make a monkey (out) of you
To throw a monkey wrench into this poem
~ Just go ape over it. That'll show 'em
A Softer Way to Die
We live and study life
We pray that somehow
God changes his rules.
No one wants to die
No one wants to follow
Those complicated laws;
I mean no lie-ing - no steal-ing
no sex - before marriage no
Fornicating, no killing
No lust-greed or defiling the earth.
Amen.
All we can do now is try to find
" A softer way to die".
Pick your battles...
There are many ways to die.
I asked, God why?
When mom threw a
"Monkey wrench" in my world
Answering - "We all have to die"
I immediately winked at God...
Thinking to myself (not I).
Gave him a little nudge;
Sidebar God: I said to God
Adamantly "I do not want to die"
"Can you change the rules "?
I never heard back from him
On that subject.
I went to him again
God "Can you at least
Keep me with a mom-
I said "So that I won't be an
Orphan like Shirley Temple”?
He did get back to me on that
And Mom is Alive and well
Plan A. (living forever)
Still not executed.
Once again contemplating
Thoughts on how I want to die.
I could not think of a pleasant way
To die, none that seemed appealing.
Nor any options that would be fun.
hmmm, eat myself to death.
Playing chicken with the train,
Might prove thrilling.
As time grew nigh
My thoughts continued
.... On a softer way to die.
Childhood gone, middle age gone'
Old age approaching fast and furious
Destroying me like a sudden
Approaching hurricane...
This storm knocked out my lights
Memory gone now.
Forgetting my life- my loved ones
Forgetting my friends,
Children, and foes alike
Forgetting my wrongs - my sins
and accomplishments all.
Everything's gone. So, now
What do I do?... How can
I rewrite my life, Take account.
Of that which I remember not.
The realities if my existence
Has been wiped out from
The Forest Fires burning
In my mind’s eye.
Have no recordings of
Who loved me or of who
I shall never forgive.
How will I know that I ever even lived?
Taking my dark blank pages into
The afterlife- My shadowy
Existence ends. I feel no pain
I Have no thoughts,
Have nothing to contemplate.
For I have asked to live forever
Or that I die a, softer way
Forgetting to eat
Forgetting to drink-
Forgetting to swallow
Forgetting to breath...
Forgetting this life-
I close my eyes and fade away.
painlessly
© Vicki Acquah
Unjustly stymied, down by law,
The good citizen balks, throws his -
Monkey wrench into the grinding gears of society:
"They all be damned."
But freed, aided,
The good citizen (Way, will) makes straight that path,
Turns forward the Great, Lasting Wheel of Society,
For the benefit of all.
prehensile primate
swinging through the canopy
what a gripping tale
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Don’t walk on the grass, no sleeping on the bench
Well if this don’t throw in that old monkey wrench
What was it bothering? Since no one else was here
Just old Hank and his stogie and his warm bottle of beer
Just fresh from the hall where he dined on that meal
Rice and gravy and a slice of what they called veal
But it’s free for the taking and pickings are slim
And to tell you the truth, it wasn’t bothering him
Well he looked left and right and set down for a rest
As he lit up a stogie and blew out a smoky breath
He sipped from the bottle and lay back his tired head
Then rolled up his jacket and then went to bed
Soon a uniformed officer was tapping with his stick
Said, don’t even think of pulling any of your tricks
He was hauled off to a site down off Third and Green
And thrown in the alley that cleanliness had never seen
The stench and noise kept him awake and alert
One never knew what to expect in this filth and dirt
Just as on cue, those hoodlums all arrived
As old Hank wondered to himself would he come out alive?
Just then a paddy wagon screeched to a halt real fast
As the hoodlums night didn’t have long to last
They also grabbed old Hank and threw him in the bus
Right next to an old con by the name of Handy Gus
A night in the slammer, fighting was their plea
As old Hank just shook his head and said “how can this be?”
Then just before breakfast, they set him free once again
As it’s back on the streets right where yesterday began
Was it his clothing or was it his beard? He really didn’t know
Whatever it was, they again ordered him out in the cold
Maybe it was his clothes, they were all ragged and torn
But if memory serves me correctly all roses do have thorns
He thought of the old days when Uncle Sam came to call
He joined to fight the japs although he was small
And this is his reward, boy ain’t life just grand
Go off to war and fight but now you’re just a bum of a man
no time to take the scenic route we're always moving apace
no time to stop and smell the roses nor see the wonders of this place
we're too stubborn to go out of our way
always in a hurry every minute of every day
people are very reluctant to come out of their comfort zones
for of their careful plans they don't want a monkey wrench thrown
but God sometimes desires that of our comfort zones we break out
for there may be a blessing waiting if we take an alternate route
Zaccheus, the main tax collector was a man with great wealth
who went out of his way to restore his spiritual health
he was a man of little stature and for him people had distain
as he was tall with power and status from the wealth he had obtained
but Jesus the Christ, the Son of Man looked beyond Zaccheus' possessions
He saw inside Zaccheus' heart and discerned the reasons for his transgressions
Zaccheus was so eager to see God's progeny
he ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree
Zaccheus was a lost soul who had a desire to be found
willing to repent and atone in order to stand on higher ground
willing to refund and rebate to any and all from whom he had stole
willing to reciprocate God's generosity at a measure four-fold
now completely transformed he became a new creation in Christ
no longer lost but to have found a new purpose in life
so be like Jesus and Zaccheus and go out of your way
to help, assist and lift up anyone who's in crisis from day to day
as Christians we need to step out of the boat and our comfort zones
and be a part of the Great Commission by helping God recognize lost souls
but for the grace of God that might be me or you
for it was by God's saving grace that you yourself were pulled through
so take a little step towards Jesus and embrace Him as your Savior
He in turn will take a giant step and fill you with godly behavior
so go out of your way and be a help to your fellow man
spread the wealth, love and abide and like Jesus stretch out your hands
where the worm never dies and the fire's never quenched...foolish sinner souls stay
drowning and drenched in streams of blood,sulfer and sweat...there is no escape from eternitys snares,traps,and webs
like rats and roaches and mice and men in a volcanic river of rage
1000 times a day the ruthless and truthless get severed and slain
where the worm never dies and the fire's never quenched
earthly kings and queens turned into eternal slaves...once riding on the fence now they're screaming in the flames
their senses are invaded by the horrible stench...the misery and madness it just makes no sense
rich rulers and high henchmen stripped bare to the bone...they can't buy their way out because hell is their home
left in pitch blackness to think about their sins and mistakes
where the worm never dies and their fire's never quenched
maniacle millionaires sitting in electric chairs...savage succers stop and stare
they best beware and repent...put down that whiskey bottle,crack pipe,and mad monkey wrench
where the worm never dies and the fire's never quenched
the tide it keeps on turning and the nightmare is never ending
that worm of forever keeps bending and burning
mistaken and misguided they all swim in the fire...their memories get mangled as they long to retire
no hope for tomorrow and no fear of consequence
where the worm never dies and the fire's never quenched
[email protected]
I fell off the assembly line,
halted production ...
cost the robot makers money
in lost time
No labor was given in the interrupted duration
Mind control wires weren’t put in the cranial console
Free radicals floating in society
is a no-no
Independent thought permitted?
I don’t think so
Reject models are shipped to the ghetto trash bins,
labeled as inferior and defective
Being poor is a capitalist sin;
that’s the way it is,
that’s the way it’s always been
But the poor trash didn’t get incinerated quickly
enough that day
Somebody liked the flawed black object
being thrown away
Slipped through the cracks of society somehow;
was reprogrammed by a force
greater than
the universal masters of misery
... got cut loose from the rat race plow
Was made into a model of authenticity,
given a voice: original and free
To speak on things that are hard to speak on —
mass production of oppression has always been wrong
Loose monkey wrench thrown into the works,
gum up the line
... help another model fall off,
and become a partner of mine
Wanted poster says:
Being a Robin-in-the-Hood is a crime
As a voice of unauthorized non-conformity,
I’m way out of line
My views aren’t packaged on some assembly line —
I’m a model of authenticity,
I’m totally self-defined
Bastille Day for Real
Jean Val Jean French "Mensch",
Rescued "Freres" From a Societal Trench,
Confounding the Monarchy With a "Monkey Wrench".
Marie Antoinette's "Let Them Eat Cake",
Only Inspired the Revolution to Make,
Show the "Roi" a Farce, Royalty a "Genuine" Fake.
"Marsellaise" Patriotically Sung, Bastille Stormed,
Prisoners Freed & Democracy Formed,
Citizen's United , The Specious Throne "Wormed".
Lafayette's the Gratitude to America Shown,
Allies Against "Brits" in Our Revolution Renown,
Gibraltar Strong, The "DeGaulle Stone"!
Five vow to be corporate wench
To twist votes with their monkey wrench
The freed business fist
Full of money--they've kissed!
Gives Robert's court bench quite a stench
Moneyed pigs love this press release
Their chunks of great wealth must increase!
These skunks gorge and snort
Their ads—thanks Supreme Court—
Are greed that’s been freed and won’t cease
Absorb what you observe as quite absurd,
have fun with wacky wit that's seldom heard.
For instance, watch a shrieking monkey
monkey with a monkey wrench,
or a horse as it hoarsely horses
around with a horseshoe on a bench;
you'll find that, neighing hoarsely,
the monkey will horse around the bench
as noisily as a shrieking shod horse
monkeying with a wrench;
or hear a dog doggedly bark
at dog-eared books about cats,
or see some turtles crane their necks
like cool giraffes wearing straw hats;
in time, the dog will learn to meow,
to stretch its neck, to wear some hats,
as turtles try to bark and read books
about giraffish dogs and cats.
Observe you've just absorbed something absurd,
some wacky words are better read than heard.
Messiah complex
In a turtle neck
Twirling vortex wreck
Black hole quench
Talking in riddles
Might as well be speaking in french
Little skittle flecks
Buzzing from two twenty two's
Of bubbly Beck's
Clinching a monkey wrench
Dragon breath honey stench
Riding bouncing checks
Pay attention now
Cause this will be in tomorrow's test
Argh resolution between
self and eldest
dear daughter more remote,
now then locating
a left handed monkey wrench,
cuz she feels this papa
did deliberate smote
her upside the head, knocking
Eden Liat stone cold
in an abysmal trench
thus, this dada doth fear a mill
stone shaped albatross
around thy neck aye will tote,
where rotting bird
doth emit fetid oppressive stench
gloomily decry death asper,
paternal progeny blighted love
epitaph finis fate wrote.
Methinks (nee knows) marital infidelity
steep dividend warrant wrought
chances greater finding needle in haystack
versus pointless thought
exercise regarding deus ex machina sought
forgiveness ex post facto, rethought,
yet miracle needed, viz
twill require against overwrought
progeny's psyche mor'n
solo requiem Te Deum never sung,
hence no guarantee
father as overthought
against embarkation entailing,
nor divine chorus baptizing can nought
assuage besotted dada's flesh, handwrought
hence fiery eternal damnation
no gunsmoke match e'en gunfought
by Jesse James, no penitence
bequeathed only dreadnought
visa vis admitting how affair
kneaded joyus kindling brought
philandering husband discovered
emotional refuge (against spousal
epithet strewn expletive language,
whence mistress besought
similar sexual satisfaction,
and subsequent fallout an afterthought.
retrospective reflection stills nothing
more serious then slap on the wrist
while engaged (~ January 2010) with
nothing sinful 'bout peccadillo tryst
understandable wife got sorely pissed
on the sly behaviour the missus
blindsided, hence over
looked and missed
and figurative wedge
cleft asunder nearly kissed
our marriage goodbye
extra-marital romp illicit,
though we nearly came to fist
sta cuffs, where salty crude name calling
in conjunction with execrable
derogatory cussing contribution complicit.
Okay, for Christy, who I could never refuse;
Do you have to be fat to have a large intestine?
I'm afraid to ask what kind of dance they do in Lapland.
Dripping pan- a pan that leaks.
Is a plebeian a female striving to join a gay organization?
Quibble and Bits- arguing with the grocer over the price of dog food.
Subhuman- a sailor on a submarine.
Monkey wrench- forcefully pulling a chimpanzee that is holding on to it's cage.
Betty Crocker- a woman who's cookbook if filled with pathological lies.
Prodigy- a young person exceptionally talented at poking people with a stick.
Probate- a lure to attract professional roaches.