Best Monday Poems
"Monday Dreadful Monday"
Most people are terrified of its presence
Only this moment can be the most hated
No more time for r&r....that's reefer and rum
Damn it....if he even looks at me I will need to find some new religion
And it's not even football season yet
Y did i even set the alarm clock....somebody make it STOPPPP!!!!
Do you watch the morning news
Reality check, why can't I find my shoes
Enter me back to the world where I must follow rules
Are there any sane people who don't think Trump is a fool
Dare I say that he is the biggest tool
First of all, his toupee ain't close to cool
Under his direction, we are fed a bull's stool
Like it or not, those IDIOTS elected a goule
Man, many make more mistakes
Only original ordinary organs orchestrate obediance
Nothing necessary needs new nihilism
Don't demand daily dreadful decisions
And are all actions appropriately and angrily aimed at apocolypse
Yes, you yearn yearly yet Yahweh yells yin young yang
July 30, 2018
Monday Morning Madness
Just because the morning starts
like the morning straight from hell,
and the little one is screaming
and you need a magic spell,
just because you burned the pancakes
and the bacon, well it’s crisp,
do not rant and rave and stutter
or you’ll acquire a nasty lisp!
If your husband’s little habits
drive you batty, do not fret,
but don’t fill his cup with poison;
well, perhaps at least not yet!
If the dog destroyed your curtains
and your mother-in-law is back,
and you hurt your precious pinky
when you tried to nail a tack,
do not turn suicidal
and do not give up, no way!
After all it’s just the morning!
You still have the whole damn day!
These were my first five "Monday Monokus":
"Three Monokus walk into a bar" posted 28 Sept 2020
don't challenge Death to a pillow fight or you will face Reaper cushions
"Mr. Descartes, will you join us?" "I think not", he said, and disappeared
the only time that cows will fall asleep is when it's pasture bedtime
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Good Moaning to You" posted 5 Oct 2020
Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand: "make me one with everything"
this sign seen at a butcher shop: "our lean beef comes from 2-legged cows"
there are just 2 kinds of people that drive me crazy those that can't count
Attribution: the first of these 3 one-liners was found online and the source is unknown. The other two were (to my knowledge) original to me.
"COVID Crazy" posted 12 Oct 2020
during covid I sit around like a head with its chicken cut off
I'm doing my first marathon this weekend hmm, netflix or hulu?
did you wake up grouchy today or did you allow him to sleep in?
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
"Avian Flew" posted 19 Oct 2020
indiscriminate lovebirds may contract a canarial disease
a few unprotected canaries have been known to contract cherpes
...most get lucky and are greatly relieved to find out it's tweetable
Attribution: I first heard this 3-part joke from my father-in-law many years ago. The source is unknown (I'm pretty sure he didn't make it up...)
"News Flash" posted 26 Oct 2020
"toilet stolen from local precinct police have nothing to go on"
"marijuana bill snuffed out by a Congressional Joint Committee"
the News is where they tell you "Good Evening" then explain why it isn't
Attribution: these one-liners were found online and the sources are unknown
Monday morning and it's not boring,
freedom from husbands snoring.
Alarm clock rings, he's off to work,
I sip my coffee with a satisfied smirk.
The sun comes up over the tree line,
a few moments to claim as my time.
Then the fun and folly truly starts,
a bed headed daughter warms my heart.
It's a crazy chaos day in wonderland.
Lots of hugs and kisses in demand.
Household chores we complete hand in hand
then swing on the swingset, play in the sand.
Reading, writing then mathematics,
I play along with her silly antics.
Hour in the kitchen cooking dinner,
making sure that is a top chef winner.
Another hour of cleaning up
then a long walk with the hyper pup.
The sun is setting and husbands home,
a busy day with a complaint and a moan.
But I tell him a mamas job is never done,
and he laughs and says "at least you have fun"
I must admit it, yes I do,
but I sure would like a paycheck too!
-August 2, 2018
A quarter white and bright against blue charcoal skies,
Not a cloud, cirrus or otherwise to cover you.
Do I see your “man” curling on his back?
The little dog pulls on a web night leash,
You are half, behind drifting shadow mists,
Does your “man” carry a sack?
Disappointment reins as night clouds gain,
Gain the sky for their own, yet perhaps
Your “man” is covered with a blanket of foam.
You burst your fullness, say “Here am I?
Keep your eyes peeled to the sky,
I know you, I’ll guide you “man in the” home.
Yes, my man carries a sack full of lucky stars.
Sometimes ... there is no reason
for morning tears.
Distracted me
tangled in the debris
of a raging sea.
So very small
the moment
meant
nothing at all.
And what of that day ....
dismade bed
dirty sock left on the kitchen floor
I was going to scrub a week ago
left me crying and
cursing
falling to pieces
where is my other shoe
my toes are cold
speed bump on shaky knees
spills my morning tea.
Sometimes there is no reason ....
My
eyes are
sorely touched
with the harsh flash
of puce and pink-red
exhaust fumes leak lazy
from the line of matchbox cars
clogging humanities sewers
lungs gasp at green tires lay rubber
like the wail of infants taken from tit
dangling arms wave the air seeking entrance
to the already well come fill’d shunt
sighing rubbing my lids lights strobe
just past the seared surfaces
of my bruised retinas
my feet throb swollen
now depressing
releasing
pedal
push.
One may be "Touched" in physically, mentally or spiritually.
Poet: Debbie Guzzi
Still life. What bite have my grapes and plums?
I capture the glaucous coating — the powdery residue.
A fairytale gown needs just the right godmother-dusting of azure.
The sparkling suds and frothy thrust! The concoction of a great day
— my brush reveals teal and Caribbean waves.
I long to drip my palette into deadpan eyes.
Her passion invigorating a sensual stimulation.
Without God’s transcendent palette,
the chameleon must wear zaffre.
I muse…
7/12/2018
Cozart’s Brevity in Blue Poetry Contest
74 words according to PS syllable counter
I know Monday
I walked through your door
to see what you had in store
Everything they say about you is true
Your the movie trailer
for what the week will preview
You seem alone and brave
The weekend will hide
behind you and wave
Here we are again my friend
After today the rest of the week
will start to descend
Perfect description of you
is Blue in color
with a touch of Grey
I know you.....
I know Monday
"Book Worms" Posted 1 Feb 2021
i'm reading a book about anti-gravity I can't put it down
that bio of Led Zeppelin's guitarist is a real Page turner
don't miss this: "Dummies For Dummies" by Charlie McCarthy and Lamb Chop
i'll admit there is a time and place for books in my hand and right now
in one college course we read books about candy the class was Choc Lit
today I got hit on the head by a book I have my shelf to blame
[humor attribution: all humor found online of unknown origin]
"But Weight, There's More" Posted 8 Feb 2021
for some of us during COVID overeating is a weigh of life
when i feel plump i tell myself i'm not overweight, i'm undertall
those who sell books on dieting are living off the fat of the land
darwin's theory of sumo wrestling the survival of the fattest
during lockdown, i'm on the seafood diet i see food, i eat it
i saw my doctor and asked him what kind of shape i'm in he said "pear"
[humor attribution - all were found online, of unknown origin]
"Groucho Marx Edition" Posted 15 Feb 2021
if i said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me?
i would never belong to a club that would have me as a member
be open minded but not so open minded that your brains fall out
i never forget a face but in your case, i'll make an exception
i have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it
those are my principles and if you don't like them, well, I have others
All humor attributed to the inimitable Groucho Marx
"Occupational Hazards" Posted 22 Feb 2021
my dentist's motto be true to your teeth or they will be false to you
bakers trade recipes with each other on a knead to know basis
I called a budget exterminator he came with a flyswatter
the butcher backed into the meat grinder and got behind in his work
a back- and neck-straightener in Egypt is called a Cairo practer
don't call me a plumber I am a "broker in new and used water"
[Humor attribution - all humor found online, attribution unknown]
It’s,
That time.
Zombie like,
I cold shower,
Gulp down breakfast and
Dress. I’m late and run for
The Bus (full of noisy school
Kids). I’m stuck in traffic with a
Headache! At work, I apologise:
Monday morning blues before nine o’clock.
Think my watch has stopped, time is standing still.
Wonder why weekends go in a flash;
Work days drag on like time torture.
Yawning, bored, hungry for lunch,
Hot, thirsty, lethargic,
I splash cold water
On my face. Then
I see her
Text, and
Grin.
Jack Horne
Online bargains
Credit card gains
Nayda Ivette
11-30-2015
Monday morning slowly waking
Waking to a drizzly rain
Rain that comes down ever whispering
Whispering, time to wake again!
Again my mind’s ever churning
Churning with thoughts of the day
Day of poetry and yearning
Yearning for what I must say.
Say in words what I am feeling
Feeling in this early morn
Morn with my words ever forming
Forming… a new format born!
Born by chance I can’t deny
Deny ‘tis useless, I must try!
~
The autumn dawn
it speaks to me
of Monday morning dreams
Beyond the
vast horizon draped
in orange sherbet beams
For up there
in the northeast rim
awakes blue diamond eyes
The prettiest
of visions seen
neath these October skies
And as my own
now open to
another coming day
I know my thoughts
will revel in
their beautiful display
~
Monday
what a astonishing day !
the doors opened
and everyone runs away ...
Car Assemblies
debate the road,
festival of colors
parade in clothes ...
Monday of
cheerful faces,
flash happiness
similar to pasta
instantaneous ...
Talking collectives,
talking shorts
and bermudas ...
collective madness ...
and they all come
to the conquest of the sea!
fast food invasion
revolution of leisure ...
Joyful Monday
no ugly face ...
without stormy monday
just holidays ...!
when will it be?